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Blondie, 2/1/25

You know, this strip originally became a cultural sensation when it was about a dissolute failson who wooed and married a flapper and got disinherited over it, but then for a lot longer than that it was about a suburban dipshit who was married to a woman wildly out of his league, and I’m not going to say that’s good or anything, but it’s a hell of a lot better than a strip in which people encourage their children to “vlog” about “healthy lifestyle ideas.” This one is even going so far as to imply that getting involved in the online influencer grift could get you laid! It makes me sick.

Hi and Lois, 2/1/25

Lois was smart to do this: Thirsty is wearing an orange sweater, clearly signaling that he was prepared to go “Garfield mode” on that lasagna. Of course, the sassy orange cat would never let a nagging note stop him from devouring the Italian dish he loves so much, which is why Thirsty, as much as I hold him in great affection, is not a top-tier comic character and never will be.

Shoe, 2/1/25

I’ll say this much for Shoe: when it has characters say jokes like this, it at least has the good grace to make them look like they want to die.

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Blondie, 1/20/25

The joke here really ought to be that we all know that there are plenty of cereal varieties with marshmallows out there sold in boxes with colorful cartoon art on them, but Dagwood simply doesn’t encounter them anymore, because he’s an adult, plus (and this is where Blondie’s carefully neutral “Oh?” comes in) he doesn’t actually do the grocery shopping so he assumes that because he doesn’t see them, they don’t exist. But given Dagwood’s appetites and predilections, I find it very hard to believe that he doesn’t go to the grocery store daily, wandering the aisles in a sort of dazed mania. Anyway, I do like the box of adult cereal here, which features a picture of a boring middle aged guy with a blank facial expression eating cereal on it. You can almost hear him saying the popular catchphrase, “I am eating this cereal for breakfast, as an adult.”

Shoe, 1/20/25

I’m really liking the Perfesser’s goggle eyes of horror here. Sorry, buddy! You are not excused from single combat with Biz in the rough and tumble marketplace of ideas!

Mary Worth, 1/20/25

Wow, Dawn’s already learned about negging from Dirk, and now the lessons have moved on to gaslighting! Truly a wondrous journey of discovery awaits her.

Dennis the Menace, 1/20/25

Well, I mean, he’s celebrating this birthday and the only people at his “party” are his wife and the five-year-old neighbor kid who he fucking hates, so, yeah, I think the thrill of living is gone for Mr. Wilson generally, Dennis.

Family Circus, 1/20/25

OK, Thel, before you answer this, think carefully: has the children’s religious education to date covered Exodus 22:18?

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Shoe, 1/18/25

It’s true: closed captions aren’t just for the hearing impaired. They also help viewers in a variety of contexts where speech may be difficult to understand, allowing them to enjoy programs that they would otherwise have a hard time following. Thanks for the tip, Perfesser!

Pluggers, 1/18/25

It’s true: tofu doesn’t have much of a flavor itself, but it absorbs sauces and other flavors from whatever dish it’s in, so it’s an adaptable form of protein that works in a lot of different meals. Congrats on overcoming your culinary xenophobia and figuring this out, Bear-Man!

Marvin, 1/18/25

It’s honestly quite rude of Marvin to wait for me to publicly admit that it hasn’t really done many piss or shit jokes lately and then hit me with a piss joke at the end of the week. Anyway, I really like the implication here that, having been housebroken, Bitsy can never go back, not even in the most dire of circumstances. You don’t actually have to piss outside, Bitsy, if you have any courage!