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Mary Worth, 12/2/21

“JOSH” I can almost here you yelling, “You haven’t talked about Mary Worth all week! Is there something wrong with Mary Worth, or with you?” Well, I’m fine, so you know what that means: we’ve gotten exactly zero fun strips about Wilbur bonding with his new fish, and way too many strips where Estelle is thinking “Hmm, maybe I should get back together with Wilbur, oh also by the way I have a memory shorter than the goldfish who we should be seeing Wilbur bonding with right about now.” Anyway, I hope we turn things around on both fronts as Estelle goes to Wilbur’s apartment and finds him in his tub, squealing with delight as he frolics with his fishie friends, causing her to flee in horror and disgust.

Shoe, 12/2/21

We get it Biz, you have a girlfriend, you’re 90 years old and that’s impressive, stop rubbing it in our face. Also you’re a bird and you have … hair? Fake hair? That’s not impressive, that’s just weird, man.

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Dick Tracy, 11/24/21

It really tickles me to think that the various deformed criminals of Dick Tracy have their own fairly normal lives, from which they are occasionally called away in order to do bizarre crimes. Poor Mumbles was a date! He was having a great time with a nice girl! Now he’s gotta follow up on something some other guy screwed up? It’s not right! He doesn’t even get a gimp mask to conceal his identity!

Mary Worth, 11/24/21

Oh, man, Mary’s heavy-lidded expression in panel two as she contemplates who she can foist Wilbur onto is truly chilling. “Hmm, who do I know who completely hates themselves, who just has literally zero self-esteem, who’ll look at Wilbur and say ‘Yes! This is what I want. This is what deserve.’”

Shoe, 11/24/21

“Ha ha, get it? But seriously, Cate Blanchette murdered Elijah Wood, it’s real messed up actually.”

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Shoe, 10/31/21

This is clearly a Macbeth-themed restaurant, but the Perfesser does a Hamlet joke when he orders and isn’t just immediately ejected onto the street? Why did we even teach these birds English if they won’t commit to the bit?

Mary Worth, 10/31/21

Yes, yes, this is good, the absolute 100% funniest possible way for Wilbur to tell Estelle he still has feelings for her is for him to blurt out “Ugh, I tried to have sex with some other lady but she wouldn’t because my dumb brain won’t let me forget about you, why are you still ruining my life” just before he leaves her apartment.

Dennis the Menace, 10/31/21

“My costume is better because all I have to do to make it real is die.”