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Archive: Shoe

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Just in time for April 15, a month from now, at which point this plot will still just be getting started!

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Blondie, 3/16/21

I know it can be hard to remember, since his character design is “Dagwood but with slightly smaller antenna and more normal clothes,” but Alexander is supposed to be a teenager! You’d definitely would definitely never get that from today’s strip by itself, since if there’s one thing teenagers don’t do very often, it’s praise old-timey TV genres that are being watched by their dad but in real life would be mostly enjoyed by people thirty years older than their dad. They’re not real observant about cleanliness, either, in my experience!

Shoe, 3/16/21

This strip got me thinking not so much about Roz’s love life as it did about the justice system established by and for the bird-people of Shoe. Specifically, I wondered, what form of execution is visited upon avian-human hybrids sentenced to death for their transgressions? Then I remembered that this has already been answered: the most heinous bird-criminals are cooked and eaten.

Judge Parker, 3/16/21

It has come to our attention that we recently hinted that something interesting, or at least violent, was about to happen in Judge Parker. We sincerely regret the error and invite you to sit back and enjoy this strip’s upcoming long and detailed look into the tax issues that can arise from converting residential or agricultural property to commercial use.

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When matrimony goes wrong

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Beetle Bailey, 3/10/21

I generally don’t put too much stock into Beetle Bailey facial expressions — like, for instance, today I assume that Private Blips here is sporting Private Blips Clip Art Face #5 and isn’t supposed be expressing any specific emotion. But I would like to think that she’s experiencing a moment of genuine wonder because, after thinking about a question she’d never really dwelled on before, she’s finally realized what sort of person she wants to be: a person who marries and then divorces men for their money. Self-knowledge can be difficult to obtain, but is ultimately rewarding!

Shoe, 3/10/21

Speaking of over-interpreting facial expressions, I’m hoping the Perfesser’s wide, shocked eyes come before Biz’s explanation, because he was briefly worried that the old bird-man was trapped in some kind of time loop, reaching his milestone 100th year each day, then being reset by 24 hours while he sleeps so he can experience it all over again when he wakes up the next morning, like running on an eternal treadmill on the precipice of death.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/10/21

Hey, did you enjoy the Funky Winkerbean plot where Cindy was convinced Mason was cheating on her, for no real reason, because women be jealous, amiright? No? Well, I have some bad news for you about Jess, Darrin, and some sitcom-style misunderstood overheard conversations!

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He just wants someone, anyone, to say something nice about his book, and I get it

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Shoe, 2/27/21

Huh, I’ve been reading Shoe for years and I don’t think I ever knew that the Perfesser, in addition to being a newspaper reporter and columnist, is also a novelist! I guess that’s probably because his books are so bad that his coworkers aren’t even minimally polite about them, so it probably doesn’t come up much.

Sam and Silo, 2/27/21

Today, outside Sam’s (or maybe Silo’s? I long ago wisely declined to spend precious brain real estate remembering which one is which) window, a werewolf’s time of torment is ending and he’s transforming back into a person again, celebrating the blessed event by shouting out the human names of the friends who will no longer run away from his monstrous visage in fear — until the full moon comes again, of course.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/27/21

“Y’see, jedge, between my feckless lack o’ motivation and my r’fusal to develop any honest marketable skills, I’m in a prison of m’own design!”