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Archive: Shoe

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When matrimony goes wrong

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Beetle Bailey, 3/10/21

I generally don’t put too much stock into Beetle Bailey facial expressions — like, for instance, today I assume that Private Blips here is sporting Private Blips Clip Art Face #5 and isn’t supposed be expressing any specific emotion. But I would like to think that she’s experiencing a moment of genuine wonder because, after thinking about a question she’d never really dwelled on before, she’s finally realized what sort of person she wants to be: a person who marries and then divorces men for their money. Self-knowledge can be difficult to obtain, but is ultimately rewarding!

Shoe, 3/10/21

Speaking of over-interpreting facial expressions, I’m hoping the Perfesser’s wide, shocked eyes come before Biz’s explanation, because he was briefly worried that the old bird-man was trapped in some kind of time loop, reaching his milestone 100th year each day, then being reset by 24 hours while he sleeps so he can experience it all over again when he wakes up the next morning, like running on an eternal treadmill on the precipice of death.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/10/21

Hey, did you enjoy the Funky Winkerbean plot where Cindy was convinced Mason was cheating on her, for no real reason, because women be jealous, amiright? No? Well, I have some bad news for you about Jess, Darrin, and some sitcom-style misunderstood overheard conversations!

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He just wants someone, anyone, to say something nice about his book, and I get it

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Shoe, 2/27/21

Huh, I’ve been reading Shoe for years and I don’t think I ever knew that the Perfesser, in addition to being a newspaper reporter and columnist, is also a novelist! I guess that’s probably because his books are so bad that his coworkers aren’t even minimally polite about them, so it probably doesn’t come up much.

Sam and Silo, 2/27/21

Today, outside Sam’s (or maybe Silo’s? I long ago wisely declined to spend precious brain real estate remembering which one is which) window, a werewolf’s time of torment is ending and he’s transforming back into a person again, celebrating the blessed event by shouting out the human names of the friends who will no longer run away from his monstrous visage in fear — until the full moon comes again, of course.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/27/21

“Y’see, jedge, between my feckless lack o’ motivation and my r’fusal to develop any honest marketable skills, I’m in a prison of m’own design!”

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Loretta hasn’t alienated her friend — yet

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The Lockhorns, 2/20/21

I sincerely enjoy the presence of non-Lockhorn characters in the Lockhorns, who often seem to have somehow been drawn into Leroy and Loretta’s social orbit, where they never remain for long for obvious reasons. Take the dude standing next to Leroy here: that is a perfectly rendered facial expression for someone who’s just gone on his first outing with someone he thinks might be a new friend and has had a good time watching a movie, only to be hit with “You know who I hate? My wife.”

Shoe, 2/20/21

For all I snipe at the strip, you gotta give props to Shoe for having a consistent aesthetic tone, and that tone can best be described as “bone-deep weariness.” “Thank you, Cosmo,” Trish says out loud in response to this backhanded compliment, but what her eyes and posture say, very clearly, is “I’ve lived a thousand lifetimes and yearn so, so strongly for death.”

Beetle Bailey, 2/20/21

Honestly can’t decide if the proper response to this one is “Finally, the media reputation the narcoleptic community has yearned for” or “Beetle Bailey: Asexual Icon.”