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Shoe, 12/1/20

As is so often the case with Shoe, the eyes really tell the story here. Roz’s are bugged out in panic, of course, as she watches her life’s work and only source of income literally going up in smoke. The Perfesser is experiencing sympathetic shock in panel one, but by panel two has already wound down to his typical heavy-lidded ennui. He’s realized he’s got to die somewhere and somehow, so it might as well be here, where he’s wasted so much of his life, via smoke inhalation.

Beetle Bailey, 12/1/20

Beetle Bailey is of course a strip where every single character’s name is incredibly, painfully on the nose. The most recently introduced recurring character is a “computer whiz” tech specialist name Chips Gizmo, for Pete’s sake. So I’m not surprised that they needed the name of a general for a boxing gag and so just went straight to “Dempsey”; I am surprised, and pleased, that they made him young, handsome, and so clearly and wholesomely pleased about the prospect of punching General Halftrack in the face.

Dustin, 12/1/20

Look, man, he asked you if you were excited about the conference. You could’ve just said “no,” you know? Jesus, is everyone in this strip just incredibly sour about everything?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/1/20

From the feature that thrilled you with “Rex waking up” — get ready for the edge-of-your-seat excitement of “Buck falling asleep”!

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Mary Worth, 11/17/20

I love that this picture is the one that Tommy is staring at fiercely to reassure himself that he’s still a good person who’s made a lot of progress despite his current bumpy romantic situation. “Damn it, would a loser have a ripped bod like that? No! I good enough and I’m beefy enough to earn respect, and I’m going to step up my volunteer work with that weightlifting charity to make sure the kids of tomorrow have a head start when it comes to making gains!”

Shoe, 11/17/20

“And I don’t have any? Because I’m a bird? And have wings instead? Is that the joke? God damn it, one of these days the joke here is going to be about how we’re birds. It has to happen eventually!”

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Shoe, 11/13/20

I’m honestly not exactly sure, but I’m assuming the punchline here is that the mayor is not, in fact, living the high life thanks to thrift and good financial planning? Usually when Shoe does a joke about a comically corrupt politician, the strip deploys Senator Batson Belfry, but since senators pull down six figures, I guess he wouldn’t really work for the joke. But look: do you really believe that Treetops, a town that isn’t exactly Hootin’ Holler but is definitely depicted as having seen better days, somehow has enough opportunities for graft that its mayor can “live like a multi-millionaire”? I mean, the Perfesser is at this official city government press conference sitting on a crate, and I assume he brought it in from home.

The Lockhorns, 11/13/20

It can be difficult to ascertain the full social context of any given scene in the Mostly Featureless Lockhorns Void, but it really seems like nobody else is as this “party” and that Leroy went to the trouble of getting party hats and a cake just to give Loretta this cruel card. I like that he’s stepped a few feet away from her as she reads it, to be sure that he’s fully out of her emotional penumbra as the message really hits home.

Anyway, what do you guys think is going on over at Pluggers? I’ve gotten over that whole chicken leg business, probably they aren’t dabbling in body horror anym–

Pluggers, 11/13/20

AAAHHH

AAAAAHHHH

AAAAAHHHHH

WHAT IS THAT

WHAT’s GOING ON

This can’t be right, right? This has to be some weird Pluggers man-animal chimera nightmare bullshit. I’m just gonna Google Image search “rhino teeth” and s–

JESUS CHRIST, this is even worse, what the fuck am I even looking at, that can’t be right, keep scrolling through the images, there has to b–

NOOO I HATE IT I HATE ALL OF IT WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING