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Mary Worth, 10/22/15

You guys! Remember beloved ancillary Mary Worth character Olive, from last year, who had angelic visions and also some kind of cysts that her terrible parents tried to have removed by a doctor who Olive hated and feared, so she fled to the pool but Mary saved her and then her parents were like, hmm, maybe we shouldn’t have our daughter operated on by a guy literally named Dr. Kapuht who’s also a junkie, and then Mary told her that she should always act on her most powerful delusions, which she claimed were the result of some weird tummy-brain rather than divine revelation. Olive and her terrible parents moved back to New York, and Mary was extremely cagey about coming to visit, which makes sense because normally grown adults don’t fly across the country to hang out with, you know, children they aren’t related to. But, whatever! Santa Royale is dullsville now that Toby and Ian aren’t getting divorced and lord knows Mary doesn’t want to spend any more time than she has to with Dr. Jeff. Hopefully she’ll take the time to let Olive’s parents know she’s coming out; it’d be awkward if she arrived at their apartment and interrupted their near-constant sexing.

Apartment 3-G, 10/22/15

“Good news, Gaby! Your daughter, who may or may not be responsive, will probably recognize your voice, despite the coma that she may or may not be in!” Wow, it’s a good thing that a medical professional with a great bedside manner is delivering this news. Thank goodness Tommie stopped Eric from running in all half-cocked.

Bizarro, 10/22/15

I’m actually not 100% sure on what the joke here is supposed to be, but I think Bizarro artist Dan Piraro lives in Los Angeles, and it’s possible that he saw the same … duck? goose? waterfowl of indeterminate species? … that my wife and I spotted last month in Echo Park that looked so much like Donald Trump that she was moved to take a picture:

I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

Shoe, 10/22/15

Look, Perfesser, I know Skyler is a ward whose presence in your home and life you barely tolerate, but he’s a bird about to hit puberty (pu-bird-y?) and if you don’t have this talk soon he’s going to try to fuck some bees

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Mary Worth, 10/12/15

Maybe I was a little too hasty in writing off the end of this storyline as a fizzle yesterday. After all, they couldn’t really be setting up the whole rest of the week as some glurgy sentimental reunion of the star-crossed Camerons, could they? I mean, yes, they could, they totally could, but I’m going to chose to read heavily into the surprised angle and hope against hope that this surprise is going to be less than pleasant! Will Ian come stumbling home with his new girlfriend? With his new boyfriend, Hilton Berkes, with Ian’s crush being painfully obvious in retrospect? Will Ian just be so startled by Toby’s presence that he’ll suffer a fatal heart attack, leaving Toby wailing and bereft? Or maybe just a minor cardiac event that will be embarrassing for everyone concerned? Can’t wait!

Dick Tracy, 10/12/15

The fact that Dick Tracy’s Neo-Chicago is apparently in the grip of a multi-week crime wave ought to be proof to anyone that brutal, civil-liberties-violating law enforcement doesn’t actually improve public safety.

Shoe, 10/12/15

Let’s ignore, for the moment, the fact that this joke implies that Mort charges admission to funerals, an innovative but to my knowledge unheard of mortuary business model, and instead focus on the important thing, which is that all of Biz’s friends are dying.

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Shoe, 10/8/15

There’s something profoundly unsettling about how much closer together everything in the frame is in panel two than in panel one. I guess this is supposed to be a result of the “camera angle” changing, but it looks more like the Shoeniverse is collapsing in on itself, possibly representing the Perfesser’s confused mental state. The doctor’s look of mounting anxiety in panel two indicates that he too is troubled by his surroundings. Wasn’t … wasn’t I further away from him before? he thinks. How did he get right up behind me? “My memory,” the Perfesser says. “My memory.”

Rex Morgan, M.D, 10/8/15

“Relax, mom … I’m just ordering a teenager to literally become nothing more than an object I can use to improve my own skills and career prospects! She has to obey me, because I’ve made her my personal servant with the help of a wizened old criminal who has recognized in me a fellow sociopath. But she won’t be naked. I already know that female bodies like mine are a source of great shame!”

Apartment 3-G, 10/8/15

As usual, Apartment 3-G keeps the most interesting developments in this storyline off-panel. I mean, did Eric just pantomime knocking on a nonexistent door as he encountered Martin in the street, maybe saying “knock knock!” aloud? Or did he literally rap his knuckles on his beloved’s father’s face?