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Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/13/14

Yes, the pin is on the wrong side, proving that she took the picture in the mirror! Also, Dabney Dog isn’t actually in the picture, so even if it hadn’t been taken in the mirror, it would prove nothing? Look, Cassandra, I know it’s frustrating that Sly refuses to get a smartphone so you can’t send him all the hottt selfies you take, but this elaborate scheming is not the way to get him to pay attention to you, OK?

Also, I’m pretty sure that the theoretical mirror that Cassandra took this picture in would have to be more or less where the viewer is looking into this scene? There’s something profound there about the fourth wall and how this strip merely “mirrors” our own prejudices back at us (prejudices about sexy cats and the foxes who won’t love them back).

Six Chix, 4/13/14

I’m very curious about how the bitcoin aficionado community will take this cartoon! On the one hand, their favorite fake internet nerd money has now been name-checked in the Sunday comics, surely the most mainstream of American cultural institutions. Also, while comparing bitcoin to the “magic beans” of the Jack in the Beanstalk story might sound dismissive, we should remember that Jack’s beans really were magical, and indeed did help make him rich in an unexpected way, so that’s also ultimately a positive. However, I’m sure they’re quite upset at the vulgarism “bitcoins.” THE PLURAL OF BITCOIN IS “BITCOIN,” PEOPLE, JUST LIKE IT IS WITH “EURO,” UGH, GET IT STRAIGHT

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Six Chix, 3/21/14

Comic Sans: Origins

I always knew it went something like this. The grinning, disfigured jester, seducing his unsuspecting queen into forcing her court monks to create a new font, an abomination whose every blasphemous curve traces the foul arc of Baphomet’s own horn. The trembling monk, sighing “Yes, Majesty” as he struggles to ignore far-off laughter and the whiff of sulfur rising from his quill where it scratches the parchment.

B.C., 3/21/14

The original joke, “I don’t need to outrun him, I just need to outrun you” is at least as old as the human race, which, if you read Genesis 1:31 literally, is just six days less than the age of the universe. The implication is that if dinosaurs existed at all, they must have coexisted with humans — though not for long, if that determined-looking velociraptor has anything to say about it.

Marvin, 3/21/14

Wow, Marvin’s callous abuse of his family is even more repulsive viewed through the lens of post-Edwardian British class structures. And you can bet Team Marvin is right now putting the finishing touches on their next miniseries, Slavemaster Marvin: a Tale of the Old South.

Pluggers, 3/21/14

Pluggers are beyond shame, and no longer even try to hide their depravity. Please, if you know the first thirteen Plugger Theories, in the name of everything holy keep them to yourself.

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P.S. Comments of the Week will appear Monday, when Josh gets back.

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Beetle Bailey, 3/9/14

Today’s strip is a harrowing tale of what happens to a character stuck for more than 60 years in the highly structured and repetitive world of a peacetime military base/a comic strip. Offered the opportunity to spend some unstructured time without his commanding officer, there’s literally only one concrete idea Beetle can come up with: see how many chocolate milkshakes he can ingest. Panel five, in which he bumps up against the limits both of his stomach volume and his imagination, is one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen.

Crankshaft, 3/9/14

Nobody likes Crankshaft or his family, for obvious reasons. Though they still get invited to social functions out of obligation, their hosts generally go out of their way to let them know how unwelcome they actually are.

Six Chix, 3/9/14

Here is today’s Six Chix! It’s about snowman cock.