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Mary Worth, 10/27/21

I hate to ever use the phrase “I would respect Wilbur more” so let’s just say that I would respect Wilbur a very small albeit still measurable amount more if he actually used iMovie or something to create a slideshow of his favorite Estelle pics with “their song” (which, lest you forget, is about a couple in a long-term committed relationship who both plan to cheat and ended up connecting with each other via a personal ad, and this turns them on) as soundtrack for him to watch while he tries to get in touch with his true emotional state. Wilbur is something of a tech whiz, having once tried and failed to get Mary into social media, but I still assume this is just Estelle’s Facebook profile pic expanded to full screen (she hasn’t blocked him yet) and the music is coming from his beloved shower radio, which he’s propped up behind his laptop.

Six Chix, 10/27/21

“Turns out he said ‘trick or treat,’ which obviously makes more sense in context, and now I’ve freaked him out. Why am I like this?”

Hi and Lois, 10/27/21

Hi and Lois is an old-fashioned strip that unashamedly embraces old-fashioned values. That’s why the title characters’ teenage son still refers to their neighbor as “Mister,” even when he’s passed out drunk in their living room.

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Judge Parker, 10/24/21

OK, I just want to establish a few facts here. The reason Abbey is so upset is that, now that the mayor is publicly accusing her of insurance fraud, the whole town is turning against her and she got yelled at when she went up to the local Starbucks or equivalent. And yet look at what’s in our heroes’ hands: it’s Sam who’s drinking out of a paper to-go cup while Abbey is using a regular coffee mug she probably got out of the cabinet. In other words, even though she’s filthy rich, she’s happy to just drink drip coffee from the machine in her kitchen, while Sam insists that he simply must have his daily half-caf mocha frappuccino or whatever put together by a barista for $9. So, isn’t he the real villain here, for making Abbey brave the hostile public so he could get his dumb caffeine milkshake? I mean, Abbey sucks, but let’s not let that distract us from the ways that Sam also sucks.

Six Chix, 10/24/21

Keeping you up to date on “Six Chix is occasionally good in an opaque and baffling way” news: Today’s Six Chix is good, in an opaque and baffling way. Ha ha, the tunnel is full of fish! She won’t even be able to navigate her little rowboat in there, because it’s packed so full of fish! What a delight.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/21

“Plus people find you weird and off-putting. They don’t want to be around you and definitely don’t want you at their wedding!”

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Six Chix, 9/26/21

Wait, isn’t the Phantom of the Opera’s whole deal that he lives in the opera house full time, mostly in a lair in the basement, and he never leaves? I’ve never read or seen any version of this story, but I’m very sure about this and the “boating on the Seine” thing bothers me so much! It’s always fun for me to discover a new thing that I’m violently pedantic about despite having no emotional stakes in it whatsoever, I tell you what.

Beetle Bailey, 9/26/21

I like the fact that Rocky is just sitting there at his otherwise empty desk with a pencil in his hand. I realize this is because everything in Beetle Bailey by law has to be as on-the-nose as possible, and he’s an editor and that’s a thing that involves writing, but I’d like to imagine that Rocky actually writes the entire Camp Swampy Bugle out every day by hand with a pencil, and there’s only ever one copy, and it’s always delivered to General Halftrack, and Rocky deliberately misspells his name to antagonize him.