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Mark Trail, 6/14/19

“I sure hope nothing has happened to Doc! I sure hope the tired old man whose senile fantasies I’ve indulged by dragging him out to this brutal, isolate desert wasn’t drowned in the violent flash flood I just barely escaped from myself! I sure hope I don’t have to tell my wife that I got her dad killed! I sure hope — oh, good, he’s fine, thank goodness we didn’t have to experience any dramatic tension or anything like that.”

Beetle Bailey, 6/14/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Camp Swampy is under attack from some kind of biological or chemical weapon!

Six Chix, 6/14/19

Guys, is … is Six Chix OK? Like, should we call someone?

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Mary Worth, 6/13/19

This is a full time Wilbur/Estelle (Wilbstelle? Estbur?) fanblog now and you can just deal with it. Today I am mesmerized by the massive burger looming in the background, which I guess is an image on the window of Delicious Grill(e?) but looks like some kind of hovering alien being, whose research on Earth determined that hamburgers were plentiful and therefore an inconspicuous form to take, beaming love rays into Wilbur and Estelle’s brains and convincing them to head back to Estelle’s apartment for piano playing and sex, for whatever inscrutable reason (presumably the alien’s spacecraft is powered by the energy produced when two middle-aged people settle for one another).

Dennis the Menace, 6/13/19

I’m not even going to bother assessing Dennis’s menacing level here, and instead I’m just going to point out the truly bizarre arrangement of furniture in the Mitchells’ living room. Like, did Henry or Alice deliberately move one of the chairs so that they could sit angrily near each other like this? Or is this the permanent arrangement, acknowledging that their amity could shatter into mutual animus at any moment, but their fundamental attraction precludes either of them from just storming out of the room?

Six Chix, 6/13/19

Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that the new owner of your favorite bakery is extremely cheap — he’s skimping on the lemon bars so that it’s like eating all dough and no filling; you order them all the time and you can tell. Sure, you could call a friend on the phone to tell them about it, and that has its satisfaction. But what if you had a syndicate newspaper comic? Then you could tell thousands of people all over the country your tale of woe! Admittedly, that story wouldn’t contain a “joke” per se, but years doing a syndicated newspaper comic will have taught you that if this was once a reason to stop a comic strip from being published, it no longer is and hasn’t been for some time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/13/19

Check out Rex’s thinkin’ face in that last panel. “Wait, you can just pay people to go away? Because I’ve got plenty of money and I don’t like people very much. This could really work out for me!”

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Six Chix, 6/11/19

Look, guys, this is Josh, your atheist Jewish pal here, telling you that Christian cultural signifiers are deeply embedded in American society but if you, personally, want to play with them in your art or narrative, it would help you to … understand them? Like, for instance, the phrase “born again” is almost exclusively associated with Evangelical Protestants, whereas the clerical uniform of all-black-plus-collar is primarily Roman Catholic, and while you might catch some high church Episcopalians in the same get-up, they won’t be the ones describing themselves as “born again,” trust me on this. Anyway, I’m so busy seething about this, that I’ve decided not to even bother trying to figure out what exactly this joke is supposed to mean! Just gonna skip right over it! Sorry, joke that appears to be about priest-fucking, I can’t be bothered!

Mary Worth, 6/11/19

YES, IT’S HAPPENING! How long do you think it’s going to take for them to figure out they live in the same condo complex? That they know Mary in common? That Mary has been subtly manipulating every aspect of their lives for years, forcing them both to hit emotional rock bottom, until they finally reached the point in their lives when they were ready to settle for one another?

Beetle Bailey, 6/11/19

Ha ha, it’s funny because Beetle is in the military and his mother is terrified he’ll be killed in combat!