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Six Chix, 5/30/24

I “read the comics so you don’t have to,” and I’m not too proud to acknowledge that sometimes that role requires that I alert you to when Six Chix does a strip that’s insane but also good? Today’s is wonderful: it hovers at the edge of comprehensibility, offering up a series of claims that seem reasonable on their face (the existence of foodies surely implies the existence of their equal and opposite numbers, yes? and a golden circle is the logical antithesis to the universal “no” sign?) that dissolve into obvious madness when you spend a moment thinking about them. Plus you get to see this weird little dude eating a hamburger! Perfection, don’t change a thing, no idea what the hell is going on here.

Gearhead Gertie, 5/30/24

Look, I admit that, beyond one night years ago where I took this weird apparatus home that measured my breathing and heartbeat and told me that my (reportedly) vigorous snoring did not rise to the level of sleep apnea, I haven’t had much contact with sleep clinics. But I feel reasonably sure that what goes on there does not consist of doctors (?) gaslighting you into thinking that you shouldn’t be scared of your nightmares. Honestly that experience sounds like the real nightmare! Certainly scarier than watching race cars drive around at safe and reasonable speeds for once. Oh, no, now I’m doing it too!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/24

This week we’ve been getting a little catchup on what the ancillary Rex Morgan characters have been up to, and it’s mostly pretty boring, but I did think you’d like to see what Justin’s whole vibe is now. You remember Justin, right? Niki and Kelly’s sassy friend who had a terrible puking sickness at one point? Well, he’s a hippie now. A hippie skateboarder. A hippie skateboarder … pirate? Also barefoot, if that’s your thing. Don’t worry, these kids are in college now, so they’re supposed to be 18, but are also clearly played by 36 year old actors, so don’t feel bad about it! Check out those feet if you want!

Six Chix, 5/23/24

You know how we make fun of snails for being slow? Well, what if they like it? What if they’re comfortable with being slow and wish more of the world was slow like them? This is a good Six Chix, I’m calling it now. Not sure that snails live in the desert though, seems like their whole slimy deal requires a moister environment, but I’m not going to do any research because I actually find snails kind of off-putting, due to the aforementioned sliminess. Still, you do you, snails! Slowly. Somewhere where I can’t see you.

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Pardon My Planet, 5/1/24

I don’t generally have anything nice to say about Pardon My Planet, but I will say this: this lady (I think the Pardon My Planet regulars have names, but I refuse to learn them) has a facial expression that genuinely makes her look like she needs her life changed and she’s contemplating whether a bath towel is the mechanism that could make that happen. She’s tried everything else! Anyway, I hope she finds the right towel set and/or cocktail of psychopharmaceuticals.

Mary Worth, 5/1/24

Wow, if you liked “Wilbur is an absent-minded superhero distracted by ape cuck fantasies,” you’ll love “Wilbur made a Feeld profile and for his profile pic clumsily photoshopped his face onto Zak’s body.”

Six Chix, 5/1/24

Six Chix: Unafraid to tell us tough truths about the differences between the genders! For instance, in order for a man to get sexually aroused by a scaly female, she has to be at least half mammalian woman. But women will just straight-up fuck a full-on fish, they don’t care what you think about it.