Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/19/24

One of the things one must always be on guard against is the brand of nostalgia that convinces you that the past was always better and that the world we live in is a fallen one. We must instead recognize that every age has its own highs or lows. Do we miss the days when Ian Cameron loomed larger in this strip, veering wildly from smug condescension to bug-eyed rage? Sure, yes, obviously. But current-day Ian’s still got it, as he goes for the one-two punch of “As a professor, I can say with confidence that your dead fish did not experience emotions even when it was alive” and then furiously stage-whispering in hopes that Wilbur will overhear as he solemnly accepts a Mourning Muffin from Mary.

Dick Tracy, 6/19/24

The current Dick Tracy storyline is not interesting enough for me to summarize, but I did think you’d all enjoy this strip, in which the MCU gals have figured out that an attractive lady is somehow tied into their current case and so have decided to download various pictures of her living her best life, print them on glossy photo paper, put them into a manila folder, and hand them over to Dick. The man is happily married but there’s no harm done here, he does not go on the computer and he’s earned this.

Alice, 6/19/24

As far as Alice Lore goes, “Alice accidentally fucked her cousin in college” is not quite as outlandish as “Alice was kidnapped by aliens,” but because it’s more grounded in reality it feels more menacing, I think.

Six Chix, 6/19/24

“Get it? We’re dogs! We literally bark up trees sometimes, even though we now also walk on our hind legs and wear clothes and run medical practices. Anyway, turns out you’re dying, sorry we didn’t figure this out six months ago when we maybe could’ve done something about it.”

Post Content

Crock, 6/9/24

Crock is a strip in perpetual reruns for obvious reasons, and today’s (“today’s”) strip is a delightful puzzle to try to figure out when exactly it was published. Honestly the list presented of things we’d all prefer to be shot to avoid is a testament to the long human lifespan, littered as it is with complaints both contemporary (Facebook) and outdated (boomboxes). If I had to guess, I’d peg this around 2009 or so, as social media started becoming unavoidable, the financial crisis had cratered many people’s IRAs, and health care and global warming were both issues the new presidential administration seemed poised to tackle. Old age, of course, will never go away as an object of fear and driver of those who would seek a more exciting death, but honestly trying to map all this out has only made it seem closer for me.

Six Chix, 6/9/24

OK, look, I know enough about modern mating rituals to know they happen on the apps, but as a happily monogamous married person, I don’t know much more than that. Do people use … hashtags, on the apps? Hashtags, the thing famously developed to make it easier to search on specific terms? Are people on the apps out there searching on “#annielikestocuddle”? People who want to cuddle, with other people named Annie, specifically?

Shoe, 6/9/24

Honestly rude of the Perfesser to blame the slovenly state of his home on his barely tolerated nephew/ward, when it’s quite clear that the mess is mostly his own doing. Very sad that, by design, the poor boy will keep getting the message that he’s an unwanted imposition right down to his uncle’s final moments.

Post Content

Six Chix, 5/30/24

I “read the comics so you don’t have to,” and I’m not too proud to acknowledge that sometimes that role requires that I alert you to when Six Chix does a strip that’s insane but also good? Today’s is wonderful: it hovers at the edge of comprehensibility, offering up a series of claims that seem reasonable on their face (the existence of foodies surely implies the existence of their equal and opposite numbers, yes? and a golden circle is the logical antithesis to the universal “no” sign?) that dissolve into obvious madness when you spend a moment thinking about them. Plus you get to see this weird little dude eating a hamburger! Perfection, don’t change a thing, no idea what the hell is going on here.

Gearhead Gertie, 5/30/24

Look, I admit that, beyond one night years ago where I took this weird apparatus home that measured my breathing and heartbeat and told me that my (reportedly) vigorous snoring did not rise to the level of sleep apnea, I haven’t had much contact with sleep clinics. But I feel reasonably sure that what goes on there does not consist of doctors (?) gaslighting you into thinking that you shouldn’t be scared of your nightmares. Honestly that experience sounds like the real nightmare! Certainly scarier than watching race cars drive around at safe and reasonable speeds for once. Oh, no, now I’m doing it too!