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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/26/12

I had always hoped that, if there were anywhere in America where the bane of helicopter parenting had yet to arrive, it was Hootin’ Holler. And yet here we have the Smifs hovering intrusively over their toddler instead of just letting him engage in the sort of non-supervised play in a trash-strewn backyard that made Americans from previous generations healthy and strong (those that survived, anyway). My one consolation is that Snuffy is still pretty bad at this, having stuck li’l Tater in a dog house that’s almost certainly filthy beyond description.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 2/26/12

I suppose that Loretta needed to be in the back seat in order for this joke to work (to the extent that you would consider this a “joke” that “works”), but that still doesn’t solve the mystery of who this grim-faced fellow is in the front seat. He sort of looks as he’s being driven somewhere by the Lockhorns to be done in execution-style and dumped in a shallow grave, but if that were the case he’d probably be happier to see this cop, so I’m assuming that he’s just listened to them talk for 15 or 20 minutes and has now completely lost his ability to feel joy.

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/26/12

It seems that Rodney Rat has graduated from eager teenage grifter to “career criminal,” with sunglasses and everything. It makes me a little sad that he’s hit this elevated status in his criminal trajectory while his much awesomer relative Reeky is left back in the small time. I also question the practicality of the rope-lasso as a prisoner-retainment device, which may help explain why Rodney gets to make a career out of his criminality.

Panel from Mary Worth, 2/26/12

Mary, no! You don’t have anything to prove to her! YOU’RE LETTING HER INSIDE YOUR HEAD!

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/19/12

You know how I pedantically insist on calling this strip “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith,” even though original main character Barney Google hasn’t appeared in it in years, having long ago helped it transition from “Roaring Twenties City Lowlife Humor” to “Depression-Era Hillbilly Humor”? Well, hold onto your hats because Barney’s back, baby. He isn’t named here but you can tell by his goo-goo-googly eyes (and a quick Google Image search).

I was thinking that Barney’s visit to Hootin’ Holler would be a happy occasion full of mischief and hijinks, but then it occurred to me: how bad must things be in the flatlands to get a fancy fellow like Barney to flee up to this impoverished rathole? He’s probably just a few hours ahead of the roving cannibal gangs. And the rest of Sunday’s comics weren’t that much cheerier!

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/19/12

Like, things are getting pretty grim down at the trailer park! With the nearby forest having been stripped bare (you can see one of the sad few remaining trees in the background), the local mobile home denizens have resorted to burning their own furniture for heat. Or, in Reeky’s case, other people’s furniture.

Six Chix, 2/19/12

Over in Six Chix, a child’s penchant for thoughtless violence has angered a species of advanced aliens with the capability of interstellar flight. Best-case scenario: Our conquest and enslavement. Worst-case scenario: Earth vaporized by a powerful space-based death-ray.

Curtis, 2/19/12

And in Curtis, we learn that Gunther’s spacey bonhomie masks a deep and unshakeable longing for death.

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Gil Thorp, 2/15/12

Ah, yes, Dirty Girl, a 2010 film that stars up-and-coming indie darling Juno Temple and had a bit of buzz going into the festival circuit, but got disappointing reviews and ended up going more or less straight to video! I’m sure that when Gil pops it into his DVD player later tonight he won’t be confused and angry and ultimately disappointed at all.

Slylock Fox, 2/15/12

Say, kids, rabbits sure are cute, aren’t they? Let’s learn some fun facts about their shitting and puking and sex lives, and about how their teeth are growing, always growing, which instills in them a primal and insatiable urge to bite bite bite.

Apartment 3-G, 2/15/12

Tommie and Margo have never experienced joy, but in their dim way can detect it in others. “Is this the ‘happiness’ we’ve heard so much about? I believe the hu-mans call it … ‘vacation.'”