The Comics Curmudgeon

Main Menu

Social Media

Archive: Slylock Fox

Comments are closed

It’s not just playing

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 5/5/10

Boy, Slylock sure is grim this week. First it’s animals getting maimed in car wrecks, now it’s “which of these adorable beasties is closest to death”? The short lifespan of the opossum actually fits in nicely with the little story being told, too. The villain of whatever petty mystery Officer Turtle is trying to solve isn’t the accusatory raccoon, the terrified beaver, or the obviously stoned bear. No, that angry opossum did it, because when death is always hovering right over your shoulder, you do some crazy things just to feel alive. What’re you gonna do, copper, throw me in jail for life? Doesn’t matter to me, I was never going to get to see my kids grow up anyway.

Mark Trail, 5/5/10

With Cherry abandoning him to gussy herself up, Mark has been left with Doc and Rusty, truly the dregs of the Lost Forest social scene. The final panel illustrates why Rusty won’t be allowed out in the barn: his hideous visage will panic the horses.

Dennis the Menace, 5/5/10

Those terrifyingly thin ankles indicate that Dennis has managed to induce a serious eating disorder in his mother with his little bathroom pep talks. Menacing factor: +1.

Comments are closed

She’s hoarding self-regard

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 5/3/10

Good lord, what sort of grim PSA is this? “Forest animals who would have normally gone off to their sweet reward in Death’s friendly bosom must now live on for decades inside their broken, shattered mortal shells, thanks to the tyrannical Forest Government and its so-called public safety legislation!” Of particular note are the expressions on the faces of our paramedics; the haunted eyes and spontaneous perspiration are presumably a horrified reaction not to the bear’s mild head injury, but to the condition of whatever poor beast is still trapped in that car. (Sorry, colorists: you can’t convince me that the fluid pooling around the overturned vehicle is motor oil.) Once the the jaws of life extract the mangled form of the gorilla or crane or what have you, the poor soul will have years in a hospital ward getting nutrition through a straw to look forward to, rather than Heaven. Thanks a lot, seat belts!

While the dull-eyed pink bunny is clearly just a run-of-the-mill accident gawker, I’m betting that dog in the suit is a lawyer with a pain and suffering case on his mind.

Mary Worth, 5/3/10

I hate to actually agree with Mary for once, but … has Bonnie actually heard from Ernie that he’s staying away from her neatly stacked clutter? I mean, she’s just narcissistically assuming that his decision-making is all about her. Maybe he just met some other woman during his business trip and has fallen in love and run off! Or, maybe he wasn’t wearing his seat belt and was killed in a terrible car accident, and right now his corpse is waiting unclaimed in some far-off morgue, just because Bonnie was too full of self-loathing to make some phone calls! Won’t she feel bad then, hmmm?

Say, you know what could really soothe those bad feelings? A little retail therapy, if you know what I mean!

Comments are closed

That lion’s not lyin’!

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 4/4/10

I’m actually very pleased to read in the solution that our sassy lion hairdresser has been hypnotized, rather than just being an accessory to the crime. Though if we want any more proof of that, we need only check out Wanda’s hair, which is no better styled than it was when last we saw it. I’m sure he could do better if he had more time to work on her!

I’m also charmed to see that his supply cabinet contains a femur bone among all the hair-styling products. He is a lion hairdresser, after all!

Meanwhile, I don’t think “very happy” even begins to cover the severe chemical imbalance going on the brain of that little boy in the How To Draw feature at the bottom of the page.

Judge Parker, 4/4/10

Have you all been enjoying Luann’s “Mrs. Degroot is uncomfortable because someone wants to have sex with her adult son?” Then get ready for “Sam is achieving bug-eyed levels of discomfort because literally everyone wants to have sex with his adult daughter!”