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Mary Worth, 11/16/08

Could this be Mary’s most complex and multilayered meddle yet? As our protagonist openly disparages Frank’s parenting/coaching style and instills thoughts of independence in Lynn’s head, she’s clearly set events in motion that can only end in tears, and murder (not necessarily in that order).

I really and sincerely hope that, as the dialog balloon in panel one seems to indicate, Mary actually said “Knock! Knock!” aloud rather than physically rapping her knuckles on Lynn’s door. Also, this strip indicates the extent to which Lynn’s will has been broken; any person with a healthy sense of self would react to the vision in panel two with either wild gunfire or terrified flight into the woods.

Beetle Bailey, 11/16/08

Even with my standards for Beetle Bailey being as low as they are, I have to say that I find Sarge’s cavalcade of vaguely ethnic disguises confusing and unsettling. The fake Frenchman is at least speaking real French, and it does seem likely that a genuine cowboy would know at least a smattering of Spanish, but that clown is creeping me out. Why is he spouting Fred Flinstone’s beloved and almost certainly trademarked catchphrase? And why does he say “thank you” in what appears to be pidgin Italian? Does the author think that Italians are all cartoon-obsessed clowns? Because that would be one of the most obscure ethnic stereotypes trotted out in living memory.

Slylock Fox, 11/16/08

The answer to today’s puzzle is far too small for me to read — I’m assuming it involves boring old science — but I’m frankly less concerned about what Slylock and Max will drink than with what they’ll eat. The fish skeleton on the shore indicates what their first island-side dinner consisted of; the way the tentacles of the no doubt anthropomorphic octopus in the stewpot appear to still be wriggling as the castaways’ makeshift fire boils it alive is profoundly unsettling. That sea turtle will be the next into the pot, followed no doubt by Max himself.

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Slylock Fox, 11/3/08

Oh, today’s Slylock is a cavalcade of delights. I love Shady’s early-20th-century finery, and the Fat Cats dressed in various period costumes — we’ve got Roaring ’20s Plutocrat Cat and Bespectacled Early ’60s Cat, along with a more contemporary counterpart. Plus there’s Shady’s framed “Inventor of the Year” certificate, which was obviously created in Print Shop. Mostly, though, I like Shady’s invention, which bears a suspicious resemblance to an always-cool pillow gadget I thought up in junior high, when I had even less engineering knowledge than I do now. If only I had had a pair of stripey pants, I could have gotten venture funding!

Mark Trail, 11/3/08

Sue, Charlie isn’t going to be able to leave you alone if you keep slamming the door into his chest. “Go home, Charlie! [SLAM] We’ll talk [SLAM] in the office [SLAM] tomorrow!” “Eargh, Sue, I think you just broke my sternum! Please stop! [SLAM] Aarrrrgggh….”

Meanwhile, Sneaky is heading out for his date with dog-drowning destiny. Realizing that he may need to be identified later, he pauses between panels two and three to put on his collar.

Spider-Man, 11/3/08

“We know who did it! It’s the guy who’s unconscious and immobilized at the scene of the crime, where the stolen goods are nowhere to be seen! God, I love being a cop! It’s so easy!”

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Shoe, 10/26/08

Sunday’s Shoe has discovered the ultimate recipe for hilarity: have a bunch of characters, most of whom you’ve never met before and have no attachment to, sitting around telling tedious jokes about how boring they are. In the gut-busting climax, the Perfesser tells a joke that’s both boring and ancient; ironically, the syndicate seems to have demanded that the awkward phrase “in eminent danger” replace the more obvious and straightforward “dying,” thus making the gag even duller.

By the way, I shaved the initial panels off of the shockingly huge Sunday Shoe graphic, because they were even less interesting than the ones you see here.

Mary Worth, 10/26/08

Speaking as a connoisseur, this is an extremely satisfying Mary Worth, combining as it does fan favorites (random, rambling platitude-laden thought ballooning) and exciting new elements (laughable fantasy skating action). Mary’s “ocean wave” riff is echoed by the oddly shaped clouds out her window; it’s possible that those are actual ocean waves, and her plane is about to plow into the sea and deliver her to her watery grave, but that’s probably asking too much.

Slylock Fox, 10/26/08

I actually agree that Rachel Rabbit’s accusation is ridiculous. It’s obvious that any attempt on Reeky’s part at electrical work more complex than plugging in a hot plate would result in his immediate painful and high-voltage death.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/26/08

Yes, of course he is, dear.