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Slylock Fox, 5/4/08

Hey, look, everybody! Cassanda Cat’s back up to her naughty tricks again! The crimes perpetrated in Slylock Fox are generally pretty small-time, but stealing a jar full of pennies from a rabbit seems particularly petty, the sort of thing one might do just to mess with someone, or perhaps to attract the attention of a certain law enforcement officer. The fact that she’s just dumping her ill-gotten gains into a well brings her contempt for the stolen property into nice focus.

(And hey! Don’t forget that you can buy Cassandra Cat stuff from the Comics Curmudgeon store!)

I also think the picture up top, with the cat and dog tending the poor toothachy kid, is very sweet. (Note: Domestic pets are not a substitute for professional dental care.)

Panel from Luann, 5/4/08

Today we learn that Luann’s dad has the same sweet little pet nickname for her mom that the British had for the Germans during World War I. I’m sure when they get amorous, she puts on one of those helmets with the big spikes on top and he begs her to “execute the Schlieffen Plan,” if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/4/08

“Hello, we’re the creative team behind Rex Morgan, M.D.! It’s come to our attention that some of you find action-packed plots about blackmail, escaped prisoners, and flesh-eating bacteria to be ‘boring’! Well, what if you were able to enjoy those same plots … but they involved sexy people in their underwear? America, get ready for Rex Morgan, M.N.! The ‘M.N.’ stands for ‘mostly naked!'”

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 5/4/08

Lately, the Sunday Apartment 3-G strips have been even more obvious rehashes of the previous week than usual, leaving me virtually no reason to ever comment on them. This panel from today’s installment caught my eye, however, when you consider its parallel from Saturday’s strip:

It’s very sad that a clean-living young man such as myself has to lecture the comics industry on this point, but: DRUG LINGO IS NOT INTERCHANGEABLE. Also, it has evolved somewhat since 1953. Please do a minimum amount of Internet research before attempting to deploy “street” talk in your comic. You’ll be glad you did.

For Better Or For Worse, 5/4/08

Ha! It’s funny because Michael hates his children, and hopes that if he ignores them they’ll go away! The second and third panels of the second row are particularly instructive; I defy you to find anyone, even among touch-typists, who types with their eyes closed. He’s obviously just hammering away at the keyboard churning out nonsense to drown out his daughter’s desperate pleas for attention.

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Luann, 4/29/08

You know what? I like Gunther. You know, he’s dorky, and he’s even got some hobbies (like sewing) don’t seem cool even to other dorks, but he also seems totally comfortable with who he is, something I wish that my dorky high school self could have been. His little speech to Luann in panel two is both eminently sensible and very sweet.

…and then, of course, he pulls out the horrifying fetishistic pig head. You just know there’s a ball gag behind that snout. Next come the handcuffs.

Slylock Fox, 4/29/08

Yeah, laugh it up, birds! You know, poor Baldy McMustache has a dull office job that crushes his soul, and the only thing that keeps him going is his hobby watching the beautiful birds as they fly and sing in his yard. Maybe he just wanted to make the yard a little more inviting for you, to give a little something back for the hours of happiness he’s gotten from bird-watching. Sure, he doesn’t have particularly good carpentry skills, but it’s the thought that counts! The least you could do is coo politely. But no, you just have to humiliate him in front of his kid. Well, I hope you like poisoned birdseed, you ungrateful feathered bastards, because you’d better believe that’s what’s going into the feeder tomorrow morning.

Judge Parker, 4/29/08

I don’t mean to take anything away from No-Legged Steve’s awesome lawyering skills, but it’s easy to do a week’s worth of work in a day when you had your morning coffee a month ago. In fact, by my reckoning, Steve could have actually done four times as much legal eaglin’ as he actually pulled off! Way to go, slacker.

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Slylock Fox, 4/20/08

I am really beginning to become concerned about the constant persecution of harmless eccentric Count Weirdly. After having been repeatedly detained and hassled by the cops for no reason, sitting in the tank again with only his faithful vulture for his companion, he’s at last decided that only a hunger strike can draw attention to the injustice of his plight. And how do the thuggish police react. “Oh, you’re not Weirdly, you’re probably a robot.” They’ve already denied his essential humanity by marginalizing him as a freak; this is just taking things to their logical conclusion. I’m surprised they didn’t just “test” to see if he was a machine by cutting him open to see if he’s full of wires and stuff.

Marvin, 4/20/08

True, this is yet another installment in Marvin’s intermittent and discomfort-making series on the sex lives of babies. But look on the bright side: “Wee Harmony” positively invites a urination joke that, thankfully, never comes.