Post Content

Slylock Fox, 4/1/22

In the Book of Genesis, there is a moment, immediately after Adam and Eve eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, when their minds shift before their habits: they’re still naked, as they had happily been before, but now they have a moral code that deems that nudity shameful, so they immediately have to lurch into action and create makeshift clothes for themselves. So too did the animals of Slylock Fox move haltingly from their previous, brutish existence into the post-animalpocalypse world we know. In today’s strip, these birds know that the old ways, in which the momma would simply vomit those worms down her child’s throat, are no longer acceptable, but they have yet to realize that their ability to manipulate tools like pails and silverware means that they can simply abandon that nest and forcibly evict the hapless humans from the comfortable house below.

Funky Winkerbean, 4/1/22

Ha ha, the “tin ceiling!” You know, because the video game was located in Montoni’s. And in Montoni’s the ceiling is … made of tin? Oh, you don’t know that? You’ve read Funky Winkerbean daily for years and you would never in your life make that connection? Well, screw you, man, today’s strip is for the real fans, who definitely exist.

Gil Thorp, 4/1/22

Say what you will about Gil Thorp, but the strip always manages to come up with new odd combinations of characters and traits for their storylines. Did any of us have “kid obsessed with baseball trivia with a dad who ghostwrites terrible CEO ‘leadership’ tomes that get sold at airport book stores” on their bingo cards? No, but I for one appreciate that we got here.

Mary Worth, 4/1/22

Speaking of unique new storylines and/or the lack thereof: hey, Toby, remember when your husband had a vague flirtation with a student that boosted his ego but didn’t go anywhere, and when he was given the opportunity he declined to dispute your description of it as an “emotional affair”? Well, I don’t know about your job, but marriage-wise, that’s what we call a “get out of jail free card.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/14/22

I think I speak for those in long-term relationships when I say that in most, you have the ability to call in forgiveness for parallel transgressions. For instance, if, say, your husband got into a fender-bender in a parking lot somewhere and came home ranting and raving, wild-eyed and sweaty in rage, then surely when you’re perseverating about the fact that sometimes you need to maybe show a little leg to inspire a true artist, make him think about the platonic ideas of beauty and how they might relate to your face, not promising him anything, you know, not even really suggesting it, just encouraging his talent — anyway, when you’re in the middle of all that and you slam into a pickup truck at full speed, it’s not like your husband can complain, can he? Remember the parking lot incident? All the yelling you did? We’re even now, right?

Slylock Fox, 3/14/22

A question we’ve often speculated about on this blog: What exactly is the relationship between Slylock Fox and the uniformed canine police? Is Slylock the equivalent of a plainclothes detective, or is he a freelancer who happens to be working hand in glove with law enforcement? The fact that Max has to dial 911 to get the cops down here implies the latter, and the fact that he’s doing it only seconds before Slylock unleashes his big ratiocination reveal goes a long way towards explaining why the same criminals Sly repeatedly foils seem to return to their lives of crime so easily.

Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 3/6/22

Look, Slylock Fox may be a comic about a fox detective who uses the powers of ratiocination and species stereotyping to maintain the authority of an unaccountable police state, but it’s also, as its full title clearly states, a comic for kids. Therefore, the characters have to set good examples for the young people today. For instance, are your children considering tunneling into an ancient and possibly cursed tomb somewhere along the Nile? Make sure you get permission from Egyptian Minister for Tourism and Antiquities Khaled El-Anany first! Remember to tomb-raid responsibly — and don’t leave anachronistic objects behind, as they definitely ruin the vibe.

Shoe, 3/6/22

So, he’s afraid he’ll be viciously attacked physically and possibly torn to bits? Maybe this is overly “politically correct,” but I’m going to say it: he should not go on this date! It doesn’t sound fun at all!