Post Content

The Lockhorns, 12/23/23

Usually a crinkly smile on Leroy means that he’s in the midst of being dramatically drunk, but I’m not quite sure what vibe he’s supposed to be giving off here. Maybe it’s something like “Yeah, that’s right, we argue. We argue a lot. It gets us all revved up. So you two wanna swing or what?”

Slylock Fox, 12/23/23

Turns out the Forest Kingdom has some kind of Henchman Christmas Party where Max and Count Weirdly’s little genetic experiments get to hang out and exchange gifts! In an ideal world, they’d also be plotting to rise up against their respective masters and seize control of the world for themselves, but that would require a level of class consciousness and basic competence that none of them have ever demonstrated.

Blondie, 12/23/23

“Ha ha, self-checkout machines! They sure, uh, exist, right? The modern world, whaddya gonna do! Well, that’s a joke, probably, time to go play golf.” –the Blondie brain trust, it seems

Post Content

Slylock Fox, 12/11/23

I think we all (and by “we all” I mean “me and you hapless fools who somehow cannot get enough of my Slylock Fox commentary”) have long ago agreed that the animals of Slylock Fox are living in the ruins of our own civilization. In our ongoing discussion of this strip, we seek to determine which technologies and social habits they have retained which they have rejected or have failed to keep working. Today, for instance, we learn that the animals understand intuitively that operating automobiles is a dangerous business that must be regulated by the state, and yet have apparently lost the capacity to manufacture or use the simple radar gun. Instead, the police must detain anyone suspected of reckless driving until one of the higher animals arrive, in the hopes of getting the offender to offer an anecdote that serves as an accidental confession when subjected to basic algebraic analysis. Seems like an overly elaborate way to run a highway patrol to me, but in this reality I would almost certainly have had my face eaten off by a beaver in the process of achieving sapience long ago, so it wouldn’t be my problem.

Shoe, 12/11/23

If you’re asking about the original Fantasy Island series, Shoe, it broadcast its last episode on Mary 19, 1984. There have been occasional attempts at a revival, but none were anywhere near as popular as the original, and the latest reboot was cancelled on May 8, 2023, after two seasons. Or are you asking what happened to the world of Fantasy Island, its compelling and mysterious setting, after the cameras stopped rolling? Well, my friend, you might want to explore the rich world of fan art and fan fiction, on World Wide Web sites such as DeviantArt, Tumblr dot com, and An Archive Of Our Own! Truly, amazing new worlds limited only by our collective imaginations await you!

Post Content

Panel from Slylock Fox, 11/26/23

CASSANDRA [bursting through the studio door]: Quick, Kopy, I need a favor. Put this portrait up on your easel and act like you’re painting me. I’ve already made sure that I’m wearing the same clothes as in the picture; let me get myself in position so I get the strut exactly right.

KOPY: Gee, Cassandra, this painting is completely dry, and I don’t even have any blue paint out. Slylock’s gonna see right through this scheme! You’d better just run if you don’t want to get caught.

CASSANDRA [posing sexily, just they way she knows Slylock likes it]: Who said anything about not getting caught?

Dick Tracy, 11/26/23

OK, yes, ha ha, Sam’s colleagues on the Major Crimes Unit are razzing him by implying he’s going to extract saliva from their suspect X. Libris by smooching her, and Liz is even demonstrating the frenching technique he’ll used to acquire an adequate sample size, but we need to talk about the metaphor Sam is deploying in response in the final panel. I guess we’re supposed to visualize him … face down in the gutter? Sort of swimming along? But he’s wearing a snorkel, so he can get a real good look at what’s going on down there? And these floating brains keep blocking his access to air? It’s all very unsettling, and once they solve this series of gruesome stab murders, probably everyone on the squad should sue everyone else for creating a hostile work environment.

Gasoline Alley, 11/26/23

Hey, did you know that back in the early ’80s, Bolero was considered a top “sex record”, a cliched thing you’d put on the old hi-fi if you brought a special person back to your pad and were ready to get down? Not saying that’s what’s going on here, but I do invite you to imagine going home with someone and instead of hopping into bed they insisted you wait for a bizarre cat food commercial featuring singing mice, to “set the mood.”