Archive: Wizard of Id

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Wizard of Id, 7/23/25

I guess in the extremely sketchy world of Wizard of Id characterization, Sir Rodney’s whole deal is that he’s supposed to be a comically effete coward who isn’t equipped for the manly world of knightly battles, but I think the art here really undercuts that notion. Look at his facial expression here, look at the beads of sweat: he’s fought his way to exactly this spot, very deliberately, and while this plan might sound silly to us, Rodney is in fact supremely confident that he has this barbarian exactly where he wants him. I believe him! It’s going to work!

Archie, 7/23/25

The actual punchline here is whatever, but Mr. Lodge casually reading his own autobiography, which is called Me!, is a top-tier Archie gag. I particularly like the fact that there’s just a bag of money on the back cover, where the author photo usually is. I take this to mean that Mr. Lodge paid a ghostwriter to write the book but considers the cash to be the true motive force behind its creation, with the writer being a mere conduit for its power and energy.

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Intelligent Life, 7/18/25

Look, buddy, John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich, also liked to engage in marathon gaming sessions, but he forced his servants to put nutritious slices of meat between pieces of high-fiber bread so he could keep at it for hours, and he didn’t leave that legacy to the world so you could stuff your maw with unhealthy chips and candy and use your entertainment proclivities as an excuse. Anyway, I was going to say that this lady never asked for any of this information, but I guess she kind of did by remarking on this set of purchases in the first panel. I’ve always assumed that if you work in customer service you want to minimize your interactions with the public to the barest necessity to avoid being subject to these kinds of conversations, though really that’s a good rule for being out of the house and seeing strangers in general.

Mary Worth, 7/18/25

“How wonderful for them! They have their overbearing, mobility impaired father helping them schlep boxes around instead of professional movers, just like everybody dreams about. Welp, smell ya later!”

Wizard of Id, 7/18/25

The final thought balloon here really elevates this one for me. You think this medieval (?) pharmacist (??) is enjoying any of this? Wrong! He’s trapped in a broken system, just like everybody else!

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Luann, 7/7/25

Hey kids, we all love Wilbur, the sad loser who has an off-putting relationship with his fish. But did you know there’s another such person in the comics — and she’s a lady? That’s right, it’s Bernice, Luann’s friend from Luann! Unlike Wilbur, who named his fish after himself and his ex, Bernice has given hers the whimsical name “Mr. Monstro.” Also unlike Wilbur, Bernice is capable of introspection, as the final panel makes clear, not that it’s really doing her any good.

Marvin, 7/7/25

Marvin is usually a light-hearted strip about a baby who won’t stop shitting himself and the parents and classmates who hate him, but real heads remember that there was a plotline in 2008 when Jenny’s parents lost their retirement savings in the Great Financial Crisis and had to move in with the Millers to escape destitution. I guess they ultimately got back on their feet again, though the fact that Marvin’s grandfather is excited to be hired for what I assume is a fairly low-paying and thankless job where you’re pretty much always on call in your own home tells me their finances never fully recovered. Obviously going back to their daughter’s house is not an option, though, not least because their son-in-law still won’t let them forget the last time they had to do it.

Wizard of Id, 7/7/25

I’m sorry, man, it’d be one thing if the Wiz were using his mystical powers to create chimeric combinations of natural beasts. But throw the word “breeding” in there and there’s really no other way to interpret this as “the Wizard of Id is somehow getting a whole bunch of different kinds of animals to have sex with horses.” There may not even be any magic involved.

Alice, 7/7/25

Big news, everybody: Alice is finally gonna get laid! And good for her.