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Gil Thorp, 6/27/09

O CRUEL DISLOYALTY! Shep Trumbo’s sandy-haired sidekick, who’s felt no qualms about tagging along for the ride in Shep’s reign of prank-filled annoyingness, and who has otherwise kept such a low profile that I neither remember nor feel obliged to look up his name, has finally had enough! It’s one thing to loosen salt shaker lids and get Coach Thorp’s bludgeoning ranked #4 comedy video of the day on YouTube, but humiliating a young lady for her non-drunken, non-revealing, non-humiliating cardboard-bikini antics is quite another. Fortunately for Shep, his vengeful hanger-on is going to betray him by using idioms like “throw you under the bus” that no teenager will be able to understand, even if they are translated into moronic txt-speak.

Judge Parker, 6/27/09

Well, it appears that lovable underdog Sophie will not only be backed by her wealthy and influential parents, her parents’ celebrity friends, and the school administration, but the entire student body as well! I’m particularly charmed by the Sophie’s Choice-themed sign in the foreground in panel two, as it implies that after their defeat, the snobby cheerleading girls will be sent back in time to die in the Holocaust.

Mark Trail, 6/27/09

“I’ll have my brother meet with us tomorrow! I have an idea … why don’t you join us for dinner? I’ll make sure that he has the information you want, and our mother will be happy to vomit half-digested worms and insects down all of our throats!”

Ziggy, 6/27/09

Ha ha! The side of Ziggy’s face will soon be covered with mollusk barf!

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Family Circus, 4/10/09

Don’t believe her, Jeffy! She claims that the mystical orb she holds is the key to spiritual enlightenment, but its roiling inky blackness tells a very different story.

Luann, 4/10/09

I don’t know if I’d call a guy who can however briefly be in two places at once “pathetic.” “Unsettling,” maybe.

Ziggy, 4/10/09

I was pretty shocked to see that Ziggy has a vanity plate that reads ZIGGY, because I always assumed that he lived his life under the constant, crushing burden of the shame of being Ziggy. If he doesn’t, he should.

Spider-Man, 4/10/09

The Spider-Man comic strip in a nutshell: Our terrifying supervillain, concerned about his son and determined to wreak revenge on the city, takes some time out to hang out in somebody’s cubicle and eat a sandwich.

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Ziggy, 4/1/09

That’s right, Ziggy! Borneo has many exotic and exciting tourist attractions that might be just a thing to put a smile on your face! Would you be interested in going on a jungle trek or swimming with dolphins? Perhaps a big city is more your style — you might want to experience historic Kuching, with its fascinating cuisine that reflects the region’s cultural mix! Or maybe you just want to relax on the beach. Borneo has it all! If you’re after a good exchange rate, well, depending on which side of the border you travel to, the Indonesian Rupiah is currently at 11,500 to the dollar, and the Malaysian Ringgit at about 3.60 to the dollar — definitely high historically, but better than it was six months ago, that’s for sure — and your money still goes much further than it would in Europe or the Caribbean!

Oh, wait, isn’t there supposed to be a joke here of some sort? Uh … ha, ha, that man accidentally left the house with no pants on!

Hagar the Horrible, 4/1/09

Oh, look, yet another cartoon character is begging her God for release from the terrible situation that defines her role in the strip. Poor Helga, who was no doubt either captured by Hagar’s viking band in a raid that left her village destroyed or handed over to the Norse chieftain by her father in order to avoid such an attack, has no recourse to improve her life but divine intervention. I’m curious as to which religious hierarchy she’s beseeching here, though. Is it the new God and his Son, recently imported from the south, or is it Odin and his pantheon, the old Gods of her people? If the latter, her requests might be bumped a little further up the queue with a human sacrifice or two. Surely her pacifist son Hamlet would make a choice offering?

Apartment 3-G, 4/1/09

See, there is an advantage to living with Margo: you can have conversations with enraged, half-asleep, foul-mouthed, possibly drunk or high women in their underwear, and still maintain that vacant little smile, unfazed, as if this happens to you every day, because it does.