Archive: Zits

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Pluggers, 9/19/25

Look, you know I can be a little spicy when it comes to pluggers and their culture and values, but I’m not made of stone. I don’t wish ill upon them, really, and the fact that so many recent Pluggers panels have been “jokes” about how pluggers are constantly suffering in physical pain and are almost certainly about to die has been fairly depressing to me. That’s why I really enjoy today’s panel, which reminds us about the “fun” aspects of pluggerdom, like walking around in public wearing clothes that are covered with filth of various types. That’s something we can all enjoy in good conscience!

Zits, 9/19/25

Hey, uh, do the Duncans (in-universe) and the Zits creative team (in real life) know how laptops work. Like, do they know that they come with a power cable that you can plug into the wall, and then the laptop will operate even if you’ve drained the battery. Have these people been using laptops until their batteries died, then throwing the laptops in the garbage, then buying new laptops, for years now. I feel like someone should tell them????

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Mary Worth, 8/14/25

Never one for subtlety, Mary Worth foreshadows by planting an actual red flag.

Mark Trail, 8/14/25

That gator is really excited at the prospect of a new pond! Meanwhile, Mark shoves a bush aside to clear the gator’s path. Not quite Fists of Justice™ territory, but at least macho-heroics-adjacent.

Zits, 8/14/25

There is no evidence that sulfurous smells repel bears, and Jeremy scrupulously avoids contact with ammonia, bleach, and other cleaning agents that do. Sorry, Hector, that tent is looking flimsier by the moment.

Family Circus, 8/14/25

Jeff Keane’s tax auditor, probably: “Mr. Keane, the IRS is known for its generosity in granting tax exemptions for creative professionals such as yourself, but are you really going to go with ‘How can I draw the Golden Gate Bridge without taking my family to San Francisco for a week?’ Frankly, I’m still getting grief about that Crankshaft determination.”

Gearhead Gertie, 8/14/25

“You mean that movie starring a charismatic and attractive male lead in a high-stakes drama with a ‘rookie vs. veteran’ dynamic that depicts a growing bond between former rivals, with authentic racing sequences, behind-the-scenes explorations of racing culture, and an iconic romantic interlude, led by a director associated with the Top Gun series? Sure, here’s a ticket to F1: The Movie!”

Gertie turns it down because the cars look different. Stupid Genie.


—Uncle Lumpy

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Gil Thorp, 6/6/25

Deep in the 2020 pandemic lockdowns, I decided that the dream of the ’90s had finally well and truly died, and I shaved off my goatee and then grew in a full beard that I’ve maintained ever since (apologies to all if it unnerves you to learn that my caricature in this blog’s logo is not fully accurate, facial hair-wise). Marty clung onto the Evil Spock look for another five years, but now, as part of his strategy to get his life together, he’s gone with the mustachio’d look that an increasing number of the kids today seem to like. And it’s clearly a good move: he’s already going to sub for his replacement on some terrible morning radio talk show, mere minutes after getting home from the barber who ceremonially sheared him! I like the fact that his dog is licking his mustache clean, presumably to get the last of the facial hair food residue that he’s used to feasting on.

Mary Worth, 6/6/25

Wilbur and Dawn’s poisoned dinner continues to go great, and by “great” I mean “insanely,” with both Westons continuing to talk like everything is basically normal despite being clearly convinced that Belle is going to disembowel them with a spoon. I love that all intra-Weston solidarity is out the window at this point, with each hoping to be the one person that whoever’s at the door is going to save, leaving the other to their fate at Belle’s hands.

Mother Goose and Grimm and Zits, 6/6/25

Polyamory! You’re hearing about it more and more, and lots of people are saying, “Why not? Let’s give it a try!” Well, the syndicated newspaper comics aren’t having it, do you hear them? They’re not having it.