I'm really uncomfortable with the way Truck is breaking the fourth wall here. 'Are you this guy's father? You, the reader? Well, if I remember my Roland Barthes then, yes, indeed, you could be described as a metaphorical parent to both of us...’
Blondie, 1/13/18
I’ve often wondered why Elmo spends so much time at the Bumstead home instead of his own, and now we have an answer: he’s seeking a refuge away from his violent, volatile father.
Beetle Bailey, 1/13/18
Otto seeks the sweet release of ~total annihilation of the physical self~
Pluggers, 1/13/18
A plugger’s “one for the road” is a number two!
No fuss, no muss: just your comments of the week!
“Mary’s fresh muffins are made with raisins, bran and a lot of love. But mostly bran. These two won’t be worrying about their love lives for at least the next couple of hours, because they’ll be busy fighting over the bathroom.” –BigTed
And the hilarious runners up!
“You can only see a tiny bit of the animal trivia mural he painted on his wall, which reads:
HAMMERHEAD SHARKS
HAVE SEVEN SENSES” –Schroduck, on Twitter“Joey hasn’t even started going to school yet. You’re not a menace, Dennis, you’re an asshole.” –Naked Bunny with a Whip
“Chip’s look of disgust in the penultimate panel is priceless. ‘Oh, man,’ he thinks. ‘There go my afternoon plans of swimming naked in the town square, begging the populace for spare change, and siccing my dogs on unsuspecting passersby.’” –Joe Blevins
“This rare blood type, is it purple? Because that’s what’s coming out of Connor.” –Hogenmogen
“I didn’t have Newspaper Spider-Man pegged as a public transit advocate, but what better way to avoid gridlock and reach major employment centers like hospitals than Miami Metro?” –NoVan
“Change dot org petition to prevent any Funkyverse character from ever again being referred to as an ‘Old Baller.’” –Dan
“The Weston family calendar looks pretty empty, now that Wilbur’s erased ‘splashing’ and ‘stalking’ from his schedule. ‘Eating four more muffins’ does not count as a life-plan, buddy.” –Hopesters
“Today Wilbur starts his new book, I Survived but I Wish I Hadn’t.” –Mikey
“No I didn’t misspeak. When I say see him laugh, I mean it. As we’re solely a visual medium void of all sounds. I’m not sure whether to be thankful that I can’t hear these assholes I have to spend time with, or … no, scratch that, I am very very thankful.” –DimensionalOtter
“Giraffes are gentle herbivores but when it comes to Rusty I hope they’ll make an exception.” –Escape Zeppelin
“Ah, I see the squirrels of Lost Forest have finally completed their giraffe-mech. Let’s watch that little bastard Andy chase them now!” –Voshkod
“The Lockhorns are ‘life partners‘ because it’s not legal in their state to marry your identical cousin.” –Miles O’Thrillhouse, on Twitter
“That’s the response of a mom who offered to help earlier in the week and is now smugly watching their child try to complete the project as the bus approaches. THIS mid-morning sherry will be extra sweet.” –Kevin on Earth
“The shovel’s purpose is clear. This is now the only way that Bull can have a bowel movement. If a bear shits in the woods, a Bull shits on the football field.” –seismic-2
“Aside from any of the women at all, is there a duller Funky Winkerbean character than Buck? He’s sort of a lunkhead ex machina.” –Uncle Lumpy
“If Lucky Eddie is literate at all (unlikely) it would be in the rune marks of his people, certainly not in handwritten modern English. I think he’s disturbed because he can only assume the incomprehensible chirography on the woman’s hand is some form of eldritch script and he’s doomed to go mad from even a glimpse of it.” –TheDiva
“Ok, Hagar might lose points for ignoring their illiteracy, but you have to give some credit for the woman’s outfit. Sure, at first glance it looks like a low-cut pink top of today. But they went out of their way to show the whole thing was woven from coarse scratchy fibers, something from before their were more comfortable fabrics. The color would have to be orchil so is quite faded, reflecting a time when such garments would be expensive enough to pass down as heirlooms. And I don’t know that Norse women actually turned away would-be suitors by carrying dismembered hands to set them up with, but it seems plausible.” –pachoo
Thanks to everyone who became a Comics Curmudgeon Supporter to get an banner-ad-free site, put some scratch in my tip jar, or backed me on Patreon!. If you would like to buy advertising on the Comics Curmudgeon, and get a text shoutout in these posts, get the details on my BuySellAds page.
Mary Worth, 1/12/18
Aww, isn’t this nice? Father and daughter are really relating to each other as adults and supporting each other emotionally! Say, also, unless I missed something, Dawn has neglected to mention to her dad that she made out with a married dude at her summer job, just like Wilbur never brought up the fact that he was grifted by a statuesque beauty in Colombia right before he came home. Just a happy father-daughter pair keeping deep secrets from one another and chowing down on some muffins, in other words!
Hagar the Horrible, 1/12/18
I have several questions about what’s going on here. The first is about the tattoo on this bar lady’s hand. That definitely looks like a prison tattoo font. Did she get that tattoo in prison? Was she in the least bad-ass prison ever, where that would be considered a cool prison tattoo? Did the fact that the tattoo is on the palm of her hand, a very sensitive part of the body and therefore an extremely painful one to get a tattoo on, make it seem slightly more bad-ass?
Perhaps more relevant: how exactly did Lucky Eddy come by his extremely non-specific knowledge of this lady’s tattooed status? Hagar’s smirk implies that he was the one who set up this little farce, but I’m not sure that really works with his canonical illiteracy.
Mark Trail, 1/12/18
One giraffe in Lost Forest is a bizarre, inexplicable freak of nature. But two? Two means that the forest land should be opened to responsible hunting by outdoorspersons who want to harvest delicious giraffe meat and keep local populations in check and avoid the tragedies of “nuisance giraffes.” This will be a profitable year for Doc’s side business selling individual pancakes off his cabin’s front porch!