“They’re named Katie and Derek Hoosier because John and Jane Flyover was on the nose even for this strip.” –Doctor Handsome
“Can’t wait for Shoe to start demonstrating that same-gender dating can be just as dead-eyed and listless as any other humanoid avian interaction. Finally, we’ve achieved true equality!” –glitchtrack
“‘See you around, you stupid clown!’ ‘In the basement, Lisa’s replacement!’” –BigTed
“Do you ever write anything for Abductors Journal? It’s really all I have time to read these days. It used to be a much bigger deal but lately it’s mostly just shared content with RansomWeek and ads. Anyway, get in the trunk or I’ll shoot you in the gut.” –James Dowd, on Facebook
“Dennis, this church embraces iconoclasm, as prescribed by Emperor Leo III. Keep your filthy simulacra out of this house of prayer, you dirty pagan!” –Ettorre
“If, as you previously guessed, the Mitchells are Episcopalians (or any denomination with bishops, really), then the fact that the minister is wearing black indicates that this is either a day of mourning (All Souls or maybe Good Friday) or an actual funeral. I therefore rate Dennis thrusting a badly wrapped stack of baseball cards into the minister’s hands in the middle of this solemn ceremony at least modestly menacing.” –Schroduck
“I don’t think these police are actually being heroic every day, given that they don’t know it’s a bad idea to hold your pistol directly by your face when you fire it.” –Steve S
“Leap into its watery embrace, Mary. Don’t look back.” –Steve Ott, on Facebook
“Only Toby is exercising. The others are trying to run away.” –lumaca morente
“For a long moment, the kidnap victim and the kidnapper exchanged a skeptical look, silently debating the merits of adding Mark to their group before the kidnapper broke the silence: ‘All right, move along, writer. How about you, pal? What do you do for a living?’” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women
“PJ is giving that book a serious looking over, while pondering whether The House That Jack Built actually falls in the ‘Mother Goose’ category. ‘It’s more of a British folk song of the cumulative tale classification, you know.’” –Pozzo
“The narration box speaks volumes about why Dick is allowed to do what he does and how he does it. This is Tracy’s town, it’s Tracy’s way or the highway — most likely thrown on it face first. If that creates a new villain — say , Pavement Puss — so be it.” –Charles Nelson, really
“Everyone looks stunning when you wear your glasses over your cheekbones.” –Sara
“We’ve seen a lot of Milford locals celebrating minor sports victories, so it’s nice to see this tendency extending to other professions. ‘Our hard-hitting expose took down a member of the school board! Truly, this is our Watergate!’” –TheDiva
“Miss Buxley is worthy of attention not just because she is visually stunning, but because her lopsided bosom clearly indicates that she is an ancient Amazon, capable of shooting down a sparrow in flight or scaring the bejesus out of Hercules. Her continual chastity now seems logical, as does the obvious homosexuality of the heroes who surround her.” –rocketbride
“No, Les. She wasn’t using ‘hit the sack’ to refer to going to sleep. It was a euphemism! What she really is suggesting is kicking and punching your ball sack over and over and over again until you decide that Dead Lisa is dead and that you need to stop obsessing over her and pay some attention to your current wife.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box
“If Les has spent the evening ‘writing’ about Lisa, he’s already ‘spent,’ if you know what I mean. Oh, cool! I just grossed myself out!” –The Mighty Untrained FOOZLE
“Sarah wanted to go to the public school because they speak in that classic Dead End Kids patois.” –Everything Is Better With Monkeys
“Wait … Cayla WANTS to have sex with Les? Which one has the necro fetish, again?” –boojum
“The way that window breaks the perspective of the wall, it’s clear that Chip is the worst student at MC Escher Non-Euclidian High.” –Call me Dirty
“Originally, this artwork was called ‘Jeffy Tries To Suck His Thumb … And Misses.’” –Joe Blevins
“Given the reference to homework, I thought Chip was at home, which means that Hi lost his job, their suburban house was foreclosed on, and the whole family moved to a two-bedroom basement apartment in their nameless city. I’m pretty sure that’s funnier than this strip.” –Lawyerbob
“Chip wondered, yet again, why his window in Amsterdam’s red light district attracted no customers.” –Voshkod
