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Spider-Man, 2/18/16

I’m trying to figure out if Peter is being sarcastically self-loathing in panel two or if he’s genuinely perking up. “Oh, that’s right! I was present when this storyline’s villain was defeated! I was wearing my superhero outfit, too! Thanks, TV!”

Dennis the Menace, 2/18/16

I was going to make some joke about a menacing pride in illiteracy, but honestly, is there anything less menacing than a child gathering his friends to watch the news together, with no adults present?

Family Circus, 2/18/16

NOOO DOLLY NATIONALISM IS IDOLATRY, you’re gonna have to do a lot of Hail Marys to walk this one back

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Judge Parker, 2/17/16

A subplot of the Derek-Sophie storyline that I haven’t been dwelling on because I’ve been super not into it has been “Oh no! Derek wants to do sex stuff!” I’m actually pretty glad that today’s strip acknowledges that, you know, teenage girls also have sexual desires! I’m also glad to see that despite her transformation from a bullied nerd into a popular cheerleader with a hot boyfriend, Sophie is still the family intellectual, unleashing her brilliant “You know, this roadie business is the only thing preventing me and Derek fucking non-stop” strategy that will keep her parents befuddled.

Gil Thorp, 2/17/16

Speaking of young love, Amazonian rugby-star-turned-basketball-goon Kenzie Hanley and former placebo abuser Max Bacon are totally an item now, everybody! Mainly I’m posting this to point out that exaggerated mid-conversation “time out” gestures are exactly what I’d expect from the amiable athlete-dorks of Milford.

Crankshaft, 2/17/16

This is kind of delightful on its own, but if you want an explanation, it’s a follow up to this strip; apparently Max intended to send his mom a pic of himself in the tub as an E-Valentine (ew?), and got mixed up. Anyway, I want to point out that the fact that he’s inexplicably clean-shaven in panel one, combined with his pinched facial expression in panel two, makes it look like he’s pooping a little beard out of his chin.

Pluggers, 2/17/16

Pluggers know that, the way they eat, they’re gonna be dead in five years, ten tops, so who really gives a shit, you know?

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Gasoline Alley, 2/16/16

“That’s crazy! How can it burn up and down? Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway? Why did our best linguists fail to fully explain the nuances of the speech patterns of Earth languages? Why did I bother with this human-shaped fleshsuit if my inky black chitinous insectoid eyes were still going to be visible after I put it on? Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”

Family Circus, 2/16/16

“Just a bunch of gross dead birds stuffed in a pie crust! Pretty weird, huh? And I’m supposed to eat that? No thanks! Hey, is anybody listening to me?”

Six Chix, 2/16/16

From the people who brought you “Ha ha, it’s funny because the fish just watched their friend die,” it’s “Ha ha, it’s funny because this lobster’s about to be boiled alive, and is just becoming aware of it!” I’m … I’m kind of worried about Six Chix, guys.