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Beetle Bailey, Blondie, and Shoe, 9/4/24

Look, we’d all like to believe that works of art spring from the pure, isolated genius of their creator’s mind, but when you’re talking about a commercial and ongoing project like a daily comic strip, obviously the whole thing ends up being affected by the desires and needs of your audience. You gotta give ’em what they want! The creators of legacy strips are acutely aware that the “’em” in this case is “old people” and what they want is news they can use, like “Ha ha, there sure are a bunch of crazy ‘social media’ sites these days,” “Hey, did you know that you can make money on playing video games? Maybe that grandson of yours isn’t such a screwup after all,” and “Tired of pissing yourself? Well, here’s some unexpected good news!”

Six Chix, 9/4/24

This blog is itself a work of art in dialogue with its audience (literally, given the comment section), and apparently what you want is my funny, erudite, and occasionally lengthy riffs on the strips, which I’m happy to deliver! But it is my blog, after all, and sometimes what I want out of it is to just post a strip I read today and say “I don’t like this”, so here you go. Today’s Six Chix: I don’t like this!

Dennis the Menace, 9/4/24

Many years ago, an ex of mine had to go to traffic school to get points from a moving violation taken off her license. At the time, there were various kinds of theme schools you could go to, and she signed up for something that billed itself as “comedy driving school.” After her class, I asked her how it went, and she said, absolutely steaming mad, that “Someone needs to tell that guy that there’s a difference between being funny and being in a really good mood,” a formulation I think about all the time. Anyway, someone needs to tell the Dennis the Menace team that there’s a difference between being a menace and wasting everyone’s time because you’re one of the dumbest people alive and have no filter or sense of embarrassment about it!

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Gil Thorp, 9/3/24

I always joke about how the good people of Milford and the greater Valley Conference catchment area at large are completely crazed over high school sports. What I hadn’t reckoned with is that, in the age of social media, what had until recently been a local phenomenon has gone national. Just as TikTok users everywhere now watch endless videos about sorority rush at the University of Alabama with mingled fascination and horror, so too have sports fans been drawn into the drama and excitement of the football season for the Mudlarks and their rivals; and as today’s strip makes clear, the memetic vector for this viral trend is Mary Moon’s podcast, which has had the side effect of making Marty a celebrity as well. But at what cost? Look at his grim facial expression in panel three there. He knows how the game is played in the year 2024, and he knows the only way to become a successful content creator is to get personal, to share your own struggles, no matter how damaging and humiliating. So yeah, this reporter knows about Marty. She knows about the drinking, about the on-air meltdowns, about perpetrating fraud on CPS, about the time he was financially ruined by “friendly” golf bets. She knows about all of it, and he knows she knows, and it’s honestly killing him. He just wanted to report on sports, like Howard Cosell and Chris Berman, and maybe get a little recognition for it. That’s all he ever wanted. Did those guys ever have to publicly gut themselves three times a week for the amusement of the vultures streaming on Spotify, then pull themselves together enough to read the copy for a mattress ad?

Gasoline Alley, 9/3/24

If you find the emotional intensity of Gil Thorp too much, may I recommend Gasoline Alley? In the latest plot developments, Walt’s new cat didn’t want to eat her food, so Gertie got a new flavor and now she’s eating again. This took two weeks!

Judge Parker, 9/3/24

Ah, yes: piles of putrid uncanned trash rapidly baking in the early September sun … a college undergraduate smiling cruelly at a text about someone getting dumped, possibly her … just another day in the greatest city in the world! Da Big Apple, baby!!!!

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Gil Thorp, 9/2/24

Happy Labor Day, everybody! I guess it’s now an annual tradition for a continuity strip character to appear as Rosie the Riveter to promote the American labor movement. I’m going to take this opportunity to be a bit of a killjoy and point out that the now-iconic “We Can Do It!” poster was actually a piece of internal propoganda produced by Westinghouse Electric in 1942 in an attempt to get its employees to work harder; another poster from the same series provides pretty good evidence of where on the labor/capital divide the ultimate sympathies of the campaign lay. “We Can Do It!” was not associated with the “Rosie the Riveter” concept at the time, was not widely seen outside Westinghouse during the war, and was largely forgotten until the Washington Post Magazine did an article about patriotic wartime art in 1982. Much more famous at the time — and perhaps more in tune with the labor movement — was Norman Rockwell’s 1943 Rosie the Riveter cover for the Saturday Evening Post, which features Rosie chowing down on a sandwich on her lunch break while grinding a copy of Mein Kampf under her foot. Perhaps we can get Abbey Spencer or Sarah Morgan to do this pose next year.

Alice, 9/2/24

Most cartoonists are of course more interested in making jokes about “Ha ha, we call it Labor Day but nobody’s working” than they are exploring and celebrating advances in workers’ rights, of course, which is kind of funny considering most cartoonists are freelancers who don’t get paid holidays of any sort. Hey, Alice, maybe instead of lying around all day you should organize your workforce!

Hi and Lois, 9/2/24

I know the whole dynamic of the Thurstons’ marriage is that Irma is perpetually enraged about her husband’s laziness, but he very much does have a job that he goes to every weekday with Hi. Like, that’s an important part of the strip lore. He’s also not unionized, as he’s management (I’m basing this on the fact that he wears a tie to the office, but I think given the lingering 1950s aesthetic that’s a pretty good rubric), so maybe this is just further topical commentary.