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Gasoline Alley, 10/26/23

I don’t usually get a chance to deploy my classics degree, but when I do, it’s usually to make a joke about the etymology of some word in the daily comics on this blog, which if you think about it is probably a better use of it than trying to trick undergraduates into enjoying Vergil or whatever. Anyway, meretrix is Latin for “prostitute,” and “meretricious” means, basically, “whorish,” or, metaphorically, something that looks attractive but has no value, which is not something people really say anymore, what with changing attitudes around sex work and sex work’s usefulness as a metaphor. It definitely does not mean and has never meant “loud,” so I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke about how this bear, despite his surprising ability to mimic human speech, does not have as full a command of English vocabulary as he believes, or if the Gasoline Alley brain trust simply decided to do a joke that was specifically about the meaning of the word “meretricious” but just assumed they knew the meaning of the word “meretricious” and didn’t bother to double-check.

Dick Tracy, 10/26/23

Speaking of vocabulary, I like the fact that Dick is meticulously writing down everything in this conversation that he doesn’t entirely follow (“Whitman little big books,” “guttersnipe level”) and will be looking them up later to find out if he was being insulted.

Mary Worth, 10/26/23

You know, if your long ago ex finally found out about the child of his that you had 20 years ago and never told him about because said child tracked him down and showed up on his doorstep, and then he tracked you down and made you go dinner with him, I’d think you’d be less … bored? I mean, this is an experience I’ll thankfully never have, so I guess I can’t tell Kitty how to live her life or conduct herself, but the vibe I’ve been getting from this dinner is that she doesn’t find this whole scenario particularly interesting. Anyway, probably she spent less time telling her daughter that Keith was a cop/Marine and dwelt more on the fun parts (that he was a rippling hunk of a man who she largely finds dull but who’s pretty good at sex).

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Six Chix, 10/25/23

After yesterday’s debacle, I’m pleased to see today’s Six Chix, in which a corporate dog discusses his frustrations with measured dignity. There’s a fire hydrant in the foreground, and since this is a comic about dogs, I think we’re supposed to assume one of them will piss on it eventually. But they’re not rubbing our faces in it and I’m sure we can agree that when they do get around to it, they’ll do it in a normal and relatively wholesome fashion.

Dennis the Menace, 10/25/23

Hey, Dennis, since we’re talking body parts, where’s your neck? Pretty sure we should be able to see at least some of it from this angle, but instead it kind of looks like your head’s just floating an inch or so above your shoulders. Just to keep with the counting theme, you have zero necks, which is fewer necks than you should have!

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/23

We do know how to cure it, Rex! The cure is called the Mirakle Method, and it broke Rene’s will and convinced him to give up his life of crime and turn himself in to the authorities almost instantly! You just watched the news segment where they talked about it on TV and everything. Rex should go to the local prison and visit that guy who kidnapped criminals and then begged Rex to operate on their brains, to give him the good news.

Marvin, 10/24/23

One of my personal hobby horses is that “a fire hydrant is like a toilet, to a dog” jokes in the comics have become further and further untethered from the underlying reality that dogs will just piss on any vertical surface in general and fire hydrants are often the best case scenario when walking a dog in through a neighborhood when the other options are houses, cars, and trees. Often my response is “have any of these people ever actually seen a dog piss on a fire hydrant?”, and today’s strip reveals that for the Marvin creative team, the answer is clearly no, and the version of the process that they’re visualizing is deeply disturbing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/24/23

Look, I’m sorry, I know that, in times of increased political and social tensions, legacy newspaper characters occasionally urge us all, in a folksy and extremely nonspecific manner, to get along, but this is Snuffy Smith we’re talking about. He’s involved in a violent feud with the Barlow clan that’s lasted so many generations that nobody can even remember its origins anymore! He’s not the guy to deliver this message.

Hi and Lois, 10/24/23

Yes, that certainly is how caffeine addiction works! You know, some people say that comic strips should have “punchlines,” but I think that’s a bourgeois affectation.