Post Content

Blondie, 11/22/14

I’ve been doing yoga for years now, and I’ve come to accept that I’ve just got really tight hamstrings — I’m never really going to be able to touch my toes without bending my knees. Dagwood, however, is in another class altogether, with his knees constantly bent, even when he’s apparently relaxing as in panel one. I always cringe when I see him lying on the too-short couch, forcing him to hook his ankles around the armrest, but now it breaks my heart to know that he considers this pose to be “stretching.”

Funky Winkerbean, 11/22/14

Were you worried that Bull’s failure to get that big new job would put a damper on his love life? Don’t worry: he and his wife are going to have sadness-sex, the Funkyverse’s most common form of erotic congress.

Post Content

Let’s hope this week’s top comment helps make room in your stomach for extra turkey:

“This is NOT the way Gunther’s mother wanted him to find out about the new butler.” –Everything is Better With Monkeys

These runners up also deserve to be drowned in gravy!

“Some news: Lockhorns ripoff comic that somehow came first The Better Half is ending at the end of November. Newspapers are already asking their readers to pick if it should be replaced by The Lockhorns or just a general sense of the death of all things.” –Chip Whittle

“As Edna convulses in her final death spasm in panel five, June, after just assuring her that everything will be fine, thinks ‘Oh well, she’s not my problem anymore. Hey, there’s another woman sitting on the floor. Why does everything always have to happen to me?!'” –Shran

“‘I’ll see you at the hospital later,’ June says to the woman’s abdomen. As she slips the EMTs their fees she thinks, I hope they remembered to put ice in the cooler this time.” –Cthulhu Gnu

“I dunno what physical symptoms would be appropriately cartoonish markers to express such a specific feeling as ‘lack of resolve to commit a brutal act’, but I’m pretty sure ‘leg convulsions’ and ‘expression of abject terror’ aren’t two that are working for B.C. today. Learn from the soap strips, B.C.! The only way to convey an emotion is with exaggerated, robotic hand movements, like you’re a mannequin signaling a plane!” –Jack Loves Comics

“Happy 50th, Wizard of Id. That means it’s time for your colonoscopy! Or as you might call it, ‘going to the dungeon.'” –WeatherServo9

“Someday PJ will understand that there is no upside to the Wizard of Id. It’s all downside.” –KEithOK

“With all the changes in this strip, I’m glad Mark still talks like he carves his words into a stump before saying them.” –Uncle Lumpy

“Why is everything to Cherry’s left in black and white? Is Mark so distracted by her bikini that he didn’t notice that he’s headed straight for the negative zone?” –Vardulon

“Gunther’s Mom is embarrassed to be caught with the worst-selling Real Doll ever, model KY-69, the Portly Gent.” –Voshkod

“While the thought that the conversation between Hanna Dingdon and Generic Old Widower might be rife with sexual innuendo is stomach-turning, it is far preferable to reaching the conclusion that they have now spent the past week simply talking about taking a walk with no overtones at all.” –But What Do I Know

“Tech people, help me out here: Can you ‘Carrie’ people via Skype?” –Chyron HR

“Mary’s honey trap worked like a dream. Now it’s time for Phase 2 of Operation: HannaDrop: clearing Somerset’s 3-year waiting list by purveying lethally bad advice in the Ask Wendy column. What’s that? Wilbur’s writing Ask Wendy again? Excellent, we can go straight to Phase 3 … Pool Party!” –Voyage of the Oversnark

“What’s sad here is how the passerby just immediately acquiesces to Dennis’ demand. APATHY IS THE DEVIL’S BEST FRIEND.” –Joe Blevins

“A3G’s status as a soap strip dovetails nicely with the inconsistent artwork. Panel 1: ‘The part of Margo will now be played by Pensive Peter Brady.’ Panel 2: ‘The part of Margo will now be played by Dyspeptic James Madison.’ Of course, the part of Lu Ann continues to be played by Repurposed Macy*s Mannequin No. 237.” –Sock Puppet

“The birds are well aware that Heathcliff’s elderly owner routinely spends his payday check on the biggest tab of LSD that he can afford.” –Wonkey the Monkey

“I hope Bull’s letter to the school board was truly vile, all ‘tiny penis’ this and ‘flabby vagina’ that, including dozens of photostats of his balls (done on the school’s machine!). And then after reading it, I hope they make him stay, because, what crueler punishment, right?” –handsome Harry Backstayge, idol of a million other women

“I’d have to say there is something weirdly menacing about a 7 year old boy showing an appreciation for the Allman Brothers Band.” –Brad

“Where does Heathcliff’s elderly owner go to work in enormous yellow shoes, a beret, and carrying a metal lunchbox? Clearly, Mr. Nutmeg isn’t just employed as a construction worker at the new Westfinster School of Clowning and Mime, he intends to be its first student.” –BigTed

Thanks to everyone who put some scratch in my tip jar! If you’d like to buy advertising on the site, you can do so on a CPM basis through BuySellAds. To find out more, you can go to my BuySellAds page or just click here.

Post Content

Heathcliff, 11/21/14

So Heathcliff being depicted as hanging in the mid-air, on the verge of descending onto some hapless soul with claws unsheathed, is a thing in Heathcliff that happens semi-regularly! This is the first time Heathcliff’s owner-grandma and owner-boy have gotten in on the action, though. Ha ha, it’s funny because Heathcliff’s owner-grandpa has money, and his family is going to tear his flesh from his bones in order to get it!

Funky Winkerbean, 11/21/14

Haha, remember when Bull got offered a job as a college coach and was so rapturously happy that he and his wife threatened to spend the week fucking? Well, instead they spent the week gloating about how much more money he was going to make, but now the job has been cruelly yanked away from him. This is why I think Funky Winkerbean is pretty savvy about its sadness-brand: when you make all your characters intensely unlikable, your readers don’t really mind knowing that only bad things will ever happen to them!

Dennis the Menace, 11/21/14

So … we’re not going to talk about the fact that Margaret is just wandering the streets dressed up as an angel? It’s not Christmas pageant season or anything. She’s obviously experiencing some kind of psychotic break, and all Dennis can do is make a joke about being a “bad boy.” I dub this whole scene pretty menacing in its callous neglect of her mental health.