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Six Chix, 3/14/25

Happy Pi Day, everybody! Today, 3/14, is used as a tongue-in-cheek opportunity to celebrate pi, the mathematical constant that is the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and that is approximately 3.14 (though as an irrational number its digits continue on infinitely and unpredictably). Let’s celebrate by enjoying this cartoon, which features a lady baking a pie and also the world being destroyed by various means (nuclear explosion, alien attack, fires, bees, and so forth). It’s perfect! 100% great. No notes on this one.

Blondie, 3/14/25

Dagwood, if your boss is walking around the office on the Ides of March raving about being Julius Caesar and you didn’t organize a group of subordinates to stab him to death, you have failed as a man and an employee. He’s basically begging to be stabbed! Put him out of his misery, for Pete’s sake!

Gil Thorp, 3/14/25

Rodney Barnes is a great player but his previous attempts to get recruited to the next level didn’t pan out, and now we know why: he loudly yells every move he makes before he makes it. “SWIPE!” “PASS!” Can you imagine a big-time D1 or NBA player shouting this stuff on the court? Embarrassing.

Mary Worth, 3/14/25

If Wilbur has no idea whether or not Belle has kids, that means Belle DEFINITELY has never heard of Dawn. And you know what? Good for her.

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Herb and Jamaal, 3/13/25

Ha, no, see, Herb’s mother-in-law, “doomscrolling” just means when you keep going through your social media feeds on your phone, hoping for a little glimmer of something positive but instead only finding bad news that makes you increasingly gloomy. It does not mean the thing where you’re on your phone and you suddenly get a vivid and detailed vision of your own future death, but then just as quickly that awful omen vanishes from sight. I mean, I can see why you’d think that’s what doomscrolling might mean, what with it offering you premonitions of your own doom and all! But it doesn’t really happen often enough for people to give it a name, I don’t think. Does it, uh, often happen to you?

Mary Worth, 3/13/25

Dawn, there’s no need to be condescending to your old dad, he is not “pen pals” with a nice lady he met on a tour of a collectable spoon factory or something, he met a woman at an all-inclusive resort and they fucked for two weeks and now he’s messaging her using his computer or phone, both devices that have cameras built in just in case the light and friendly banter takes a turn towards the naked, and if you choose to continue to live in this house you will have to get used to that idea.

Gearhead Gertie, 3/13/25

“She’s actually just pretty much unhappy all the time, and quite frankly it’s difficult to live with.”

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The Lockhorns, 3/12/25

Why do you think Loretta is in the room with Leroy as he gets his physical? Is it just so she can do little bits like this? If I were H. Blog, M.D., the Lockhorns’ longtime and long-suffering physician, I would simply begin insisting that I would only see them one at a time, although maybe he hopes that in the process of doing bits the spouse not currently being examined will let slip important medical information. This is the first he’s hearing that Leroy’s in an underground fight club, for instance.

Judge Parker, 3/12/25

I’d like to imagine that Randy is giving this flabbergasted reaction in the second panel because, despite being a judge himself, this is the first he’s hearing about the concept of a “plea bargain.” “Wait, you mean when all those people just give up and tell me at the beginning of the trial that they did it, I’m supposed to be sentencing them to less time in prison? Aw crap have I been doing this wrong!!!”