Post Content

Mary Worth, 3/23/15

OH SNAP IT’S THE TRIUMPHANT (?) RETURN OF A BELOVED (?) ANCILLARY MARY WORTH CHARACTER! You might remember Terry Bryson as the Internet fraud expert who gently explained to Toby how to not get ripped off on the online, back in 2008. Since then she’s been lying low at Charterstone, apparently hoping against hope that Adam wouldn’t find her here. Did Terry once long ago teach Adam how to avoid Internet fraud, only she did a bad job and he got Internet defrauded real bad, and now he’s out for revenge? Or is Terry herself the one thing Adam can never let go of, romantically? Probably the second one, since over the weekend Adam seems to have dyed the greying hair around his temples, so as to look younger and more vigorous. Can’t wait to see the upbeat wedding denouement of this story, which has began in unsettling stalkertastic fashion!

Judge Parker, 3/23/15

Oh, goody: we’ve returned to Sam and Abbey’s RV, which is large enough to have both a main salon and, presumably, several secondary salons, just in time for them to wax rhapsodic about the greatness of Judge Parker Senior’s unfilmable script adaptation of his unreadable book! Abbey’s going to need some coffee for this. All this sycophancy takes a lot out of you.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/23/15

Ha ha, “I have a meeting with your father,” definitely a normal thing a human would say upon meeting an unidentified young person in an office setting. In this case, of course, a more reasonably response would be “I have a meeting with the mad scientist who grafted your tiny head onto your mismatched body.”

Post Content

Six Chix, 3/22/15

I kind of like how sad this lady looks. “Sure, cool wordplay, talking animals that only I can hear, but the truth is that agoraphobia is a serious and debilitating medical condition that has significant and negative impacts on my life.”

Dennis the Menace, 3/22/15

Look, Joey, your mother’s dead, so stop pretending, OK? It’s not menacing, just the tough love you need to get you to acknowledge the facts and get on the road to true healing.

Judge Parker, 3/22/15

“I’ll bet Godiva ‘gets her horse’ now, if you know what I mean! That’s a sex thing, right? A sex thing rich people do? God, I hate working for you one-percent monsters so much, and yet you all have me in a constant state of arousal!”

Shoe, 3/22/15

Loon has been a beloved character in this strip since it began in 1977, right up until today, when he was abruptly and violently eaten by a shark. We can still see the lower half of his mangled body in the final panel, though that too will presumably soon vanish to the shark’s gullet.

Post Content

Spider-Man, 3/21/15

“Oh no! One of my major super-powers can be easily defeated by … a sharp thing! Probably should’ve seen this coming?”

Apartment 3-G, 3/21/15

“And by ‘practically,’ I mean literally. He runs this place! He’s the manager of the hotel! ‘Run the hotel’ is his job description!”

Dennis the Menace, 3/21/15

“I’m talking about Jesus, of course. He’s boring as shit! I just think about those damn beatitudes for a minute and it’s light’s out!”