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Marvin, 8/20/23

You well know that I do not consider the syndicated comic strip Marvin to be the pinnacle of sequential art, but today’s strip is even more shambolic than usual, its narrative completely falling apart upon the slightest examination. Why is Jeff’s work frenemy whose name you cannot make me retain or look up hanging out at his house, on a weekend, and why are they just standing around the living room while Jeff passive aggressively dicks around on his phone? Why has not-Jeff chosen to set up his “hilarious” prank by posing a series of seemingly earnest questions? Why would you buy a bunch of toilet paper on eBay, of all places? And why isn’t Marvin even here? Damn it, if you’re going to do a toilet paper joke in the comic strip Marvin, then Marvin (the character) should be involved.

Blondie, 8/20/23

This one drives me crazy for one specific reason, which is that Dithers mentions that he used the company 3-D printer to make his mini-Dithers homunculus. The whole scenario is pleasantly absurd without that fact, please do not make think about the mechanics of producing this thing or the business reasons why DithersCo might own a 3-D printer.

Dennis the Menace, 8/20/23

This one I have no complaints about. Is there anything more menacing than a child who needs more love and attention than you’re equipped to provide? Extremely dark, no notes.

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Judge Parker, 8/19/23

Not to toot my own horn too much about literally doing my job (which is, and forever more shall be, reading and in some basic way making sense of the comics so you don’t have to), but I was right about that being April’s mom that Pavel is targeting. I’m feeling a lot better about this than Sam, who now has to go kidnap someone with significantly more kidnapping and kidnapping-prevention skills than he has, all while the CIA is keeping a close eye on everything. I feel like Pavel has an exaggerated idea on how small a part of this process the “waltzing in” bit is!

Mary Worth, 8/19/23

This is the part of the date where most couples would go home and fool around a little, but for Jeff and Mary, it’s time to Solemnly Contemplate The Sea. No doubt the mighty ocean plays an important role in their emotional life: not only do they live in a beachfront community, but they know the sinister Ocean had its chance to swallow up Wilbur not just once but twice and yet rejected him both times, spitting him back up onto land and into their lives.

Family Circus, 8/19/23

The thing that really makes this panel for me is Billy’s facial expression. He’s not some amoral, destructive little ignoramus! He fucked up real bad and he knows it!

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After a long vacation sojourn, the comment of the week is BACK, everybody, and this is it:

“‘Truck? It’s Mud.’ Yep, that’s how I expect Rex Morgan characters to greet each other in person, all right. What, did you think we’d get out of listening to middle-aged phone conversation dialogue just because Truck and Mud are two feet away from each other?” –jroggs

And here are the runners up!

“Doctors have easy access to pharmaceuticals, right? Liberal use is the only way Jeff could be that excited about this conversation.” –Hibbleton

“I’ve tried to imagine what the funniest possible reveal could be here. So far, I think a big glossy photo of Elton John is the front runner. Not present-day Elton, mind you, but 1970s ‘Crocodile Rock’ Elton.” –pugfuggly

“Is there any pronouncement more ominous than Mary’s ‘Even so, who knows what’s happening in this town sight unseen?’ I’d be less horrified if she stuck out a forked tongue, spit fire, and declared ‘I am Moloch, Destroyer of Worlds.’” –Lawyerbob

“I hope Pop turns out to be a crackpot local inventor who made that watch that Gil is speaking out of. Has he implanted a mind-reading chip into Gil’s head? Or is some dark sorcery at work?” –Philip

“I feel like we’re spending a lot of time dancing around this being Dagwood’s dispensary.” –Daniel Schultz, on BlueSky

“You’re just a few minutes away from a fiery crash off a cliff when your getaway driver is so crazed and nihilistic that his motto is ‘Why live?’ (oh, he’s probably pronouncing it ‘leyeve,’ isn’t he?)” —
Handsome Harry Backstayge, Idol of a Million Other Women

“‘It looks like you’ve already found her, and trapped her in that tiny piece of paper!’ ‘That is a photograph, Mister Driver. You’ve never seen a … never mind … I’m beginning to reconsider my plan.’” –Voshkod

“It’s nice to see that Mary is finally coming to the realization that she tried to get Estelle and Wilbur to hook up.” –Tabby Lavalamp

“I don’t know who decided to give a pair of twin children a single Super Soaker™ to share, but whoever they are, they’re a master at trolling parents.” –Roto13

“Your kids sure know heat transfer and fluid flow science.” –Just John

“Usually business people accounts for earnings and losses of a company on a three-month period, and even then many consider that too short-term. Who knows what happened in July that affected sales. Production chain disruption, restocking, Dagwood accidentally ate a contract…” –Ettorre

“I want them to get into a fight, so the headlines will read ‘Truck-Mud Flap.’” –grsblvnyk

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