Post Content

Heathcliff, 6/24/13

It appears that Heathcliff has entered its Large Labels In Block Lettering phase, to the delight/confusion of comics fans everywhere. The first entry in the genre, in which Heathcliff pledged allegiance to cake, was at least straightforward: Heathcliff really liked cake, you see, and wanted to let people know, in flag form. Today we move further into avante-garde territory. Heathcliff, who is not in a context where he might be expected to play football, is wearing a football helmet, which has “HAM” written across the front of it in very large visible type. Is this meant to indicate, in a somewhat on-the-nose fashion, that he is on “Team Ham,” in terms of the eternal rivalry for esteem among the various meat products? If so, why does our flesh merchant advise his customer against purchasing ham? Is he irritated by Heathcliff’s endless ham cheerleading, and is being contrary out of spite? Or is Heathcliff wearing a helmet not just symbolically, but because he intends to instigate real violence, of the sort that might result in a head injury, to anyone who attempts to take any of the precious, precious ham out of the butcher’s shop?

Spider-Man, 6/24/13

Oops, sorry everybody, Spider-Man’s exciting rescue mission to Central America is on hold! Don’t worry, even more spine-chilling thrills are on the way: Spider-Man waits on hold with his credit card company for 45 minutes, Spider-Man has a petulant argument with the hotel management about their security procedures, Spider-Man stands in line to get a rush replacement for his passport and has to make awkward small talk with the guy next to him who’s hinting with increasing lack of subtlety that his upcoming trip to Thailand is for sex tourism, etc.

Post Content

Momma, 6/23/13

One of my favorite/least unfavorite Momma bits is Momma’s recurring nightmare that she and/or her children in some combination will be reduced to panhandling, due to her children’s shiftlessness and incompetence. I enjoy these installments because they’re about her constant mid-level anxiety that she and her family are trembling at the boundary of middle-class respectability and could be pushed out into the abyss at any moment, but the actual “jokes” of the strips generally take the form of weird passive-aggressive wordplay on signs that the Hobbes-hobos are displaying for the benefit of passers by. Today was actually the first time I noticed that these signs aren’t makeshift cardboard placards propped up in front of them but actually attached to the wall, which implies both a certain resourcefulness and collusion with the building owner. Come to us when can’t even afford thumbtacks, Momma! Then we’ll know you hit rock bottom.

Panel from Mary Worth, 6/23/13

Haha, look how startled Tom looks by this demand. “But that … that’s kind of my thing! It’s my trademark relationship move!”

Mark Trail, 6/23/13

“How are we going to get the kids interesting in birdwatching? Breakdancing? Do the kids still like breakdancing? Should we tell them that birds breakdance?”

Post Content

Better Half, 6/22/13

There’s something about Stanley and Harriet’s affectless naivety that just kind of breaks my heart. Like, if Leroy Lockhorn said this, it would be an extremely sarcastic response to a failed attempt by Loretta to get him to eat better, and would also have nothing to do with the actual amount of potato chips he ate. Whereas I picture Stanley imagining that Harriet will find this hilarious, and also carefully counting all the potato chips he ate over a two-day period in order to make sure the joke was also accurate.

Crankshaft, 6/22/13

Sorry everybody if I got you super excited Monday about Crankshaft gracing us with some New York-themed puns. It turns out we had to sit through a whole week of Crankshaft being an asshole to everyone who works at the airport first. Look, in panel three we can see two people hating him at once!

Mary Worth, 6/22/13

Haha, thanks, Tom, I will very much be seeing that grossly exaggerated wink in my nightmares tonight! Still, worse will come when I awake, because then I’ll be unable to stop trying to figure out the precise combination of sexual acts “I was in the mood for meat … but seafood sounds really great, too!” is a metaphor for.