Post Content

Enjoy it! It’s the week’s best comment, after all!

“I’m not saying you should use ‘Yakety Sax’ to score today’s Mary Worth, I’m just saying no dramatic tension is lost by doing so.” –Irrischano

And enjoy these runners up too!

“If ice cream cones are $5, that’s probably a $20 hot dog the seagull is making off with.” –Matthew

“’Skeetos sounds like a snack chip. Warning: contains insects and possibly human blood.” –nescio

“Today’s Mary Worth should win a prize for the least erotic mixed pole-dancing entry, ever.” –Fraser

“Is Spider-Man considered a last responder?” –Dood

“This shipwreck is Wilbur’s fault, because he decided to sample fresh Italian vegetables and exotic fish dishes. You’ve angered the Sandwich Gods, Wilbur, and now you must face their oven-toasted wrath!” –Perky Bird

“‘Sam, do you like baseball?’ ‘Yeah, I think we own the Arizona Diamondbacks and maybe the Orioles.'” –Doctor Handsome

“I have no idea what is going on in Rex’s life these days, but judging from that unique ceiling tile, I would guess that he’s talking on a cell phone to a man standing on the other side of the room he’s in. Why, you might ask? Because talking face-to-face is what poor people do.” –pugfuggly

“Lu Ann is taken to her happy place. ‘Pale blue walls, mustard colored trim. Yes! This feels so right.'” –Kwazzymodo

“I see the pendulum in Apartment 3-G has swung from ‘mind-bogglingly insane’ to ‘incomprehensibly dull.'” –TheDiva

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

• Technomancer: The latest from best-selling author B.V. Larson!
• Nowhere To Run, Nowhere to Hide: From New York Times bestselling author Nancy Bush, comes back-to-back thrillers Nowhere to Run and Nowhere to Hide. “Nancy Bush always delivers edge-of-your seat suspense!” –Lisa Jackson, New York Times bestselling author

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 8/3/12

God, you guys, so long ago (so long ago I’m not even going to bother digging up the links) Margo had this boyfriend (or at least a dude she was making out with) named Trey who was an architect and who somehow got permission from his bosses to completely rebuild the Mills Gallery (which, let’s not forget, Margo owns or at least manages or something, because she inherited it from her previous boyfriend, who died in Tibet, for real) in his vision of a neo-Art Deco style, free of charge, because … because it’s an arts nonprofit, I guess? And Trey was making out with its owner/manager? Sure, those seem like good reasons to do a lot of pricey professional work pro bono.

Anyway, I bring this up not just because I want to show off (for certain very limited definitions of “show off”) my knowledge of apparently jettisoned A3G backstory, but because Margo’s vague references to the office being “picture perfect” at least sort of admits that said backstory at one point existed. Trey is nowhere to be seen, and the vague background decor looks nothing like whatever neo-Art Deco might be, but there does appear to be a picture hanging on the wall, which may be what she’s referring to. Maybe Trey got his budget for the job cut until all he could afford to do was hang a new painting on the wall of Margo’s office, and then he had to cease to exist, to save money.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/3/12

Oh, were you worried that Rex Morgan wasn’t going to get his cut? Don’t worry, Rex Morgan always gets his cut.

Post Content

Judge Parker, 8/2/12

If you haven’t been following the storyline of Judge Parker — and let’s face it, you probably haven’t — it’s gone something like this: the mean people at the run-down fishing lodge suddenly became nice people, but it turns out it’s only because they’re secretly in league with (or perhaps secretly are the same people as) the owners of the marijuana field Avery accidentally fell into and they just wanted to get Sam and Avery out on the river so that they could steal Avery’s camera and get the marijuana pictures off of it, except that Avery took his camera fishing with him, foiling their evil plans. And now they’re presumably planning to lure Sam and Avery down into their cellar and imprison and/or murder them there. This is a good example of how Sam’s charmed life has dangerously lowered his defenses. “Why yes, I am wealthy and good-looking and well-connected, so it totally makes sense that you’re going to give me some luxury item for free. I’ll just trundle down into your dank basement and take my pick!”

Mark Trail, 8/2/12

Time in Mark Trail passes in a surreal, dream-like fashion, so who even knows how long ago it was that Rusty saw the poachers shoot that bighorn from a plane. Has it been days? It seems like it might have been days. Anyway, what I’m trying to say, Rusty, is what you really want to do is get a good, stomach-turning picture of some rotting sheep-flesh, with the more flies the better, if you want any respect from the avant-garde art world. You should actually crop out the poachers’ faces if you want to emphasize life’s impersonal cruelty, as I assume you do.

Herb and Jamaal, 8/2/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Jamaal is farting constantly, and also because Herb is going to die of a massive heart attack!