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Guys, your comments of the week are coming shortly, but first: You may remember back when I quit my job that in addition to insanely declaring that I would write a book I also insanely declared that I would be doing live comedy shenanigans? Well, it’s true, I am doing them! I will be part of a couple of shows in the Baltimore area in the next few weeks. Here are the details! Come, it will be funny, promise!

And now, your comment of the week:

“‘It’s a more economical way of getting dressed in the morning?’ queried the Krakthor, shifting its squat, bulbous features underneath the hideous man-disguise so that the head-front would resemble human curiosity.” –bunivasal

And the runners up! Very funny!

“So help me, at first I thought the joke was that Teresa Mae’s husband was having a baby himself, given his position. I mean, it’d probably be best if his feet were in stirrups, but those require precious iron to manufacture.” –Spyglass

“And speaking of experiments that didn’t work, how about we agree that we’re both still heterosexual?” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“Jughead’s got that ‘letter to the editor’ face going on.” –sporknpork

“My day, as I had planned it: focus on some upcoming deadlines at work; enjoy some music on the commute home; spend some time with the kids; get my news fix watching the convention. My day as it is actually going to happen: dwell obsessively on the fact that Jamaal’s pants are hanging open.” –Nekrotzar

“Then again, maybe her junior high picture reminds her of a happier time in her life, before she gave birth to The Omen.” –Digger

“Chip was probably asking what band it is, but whatever. ‘This is called an audio recording, son. We used to use them to duplicate sound.'” –Doctor Handsome

“‘Don’t cut your hair like Moe Howard, dear,’ is what Mrs. Worth should be saying to Dawn instead of prattling on and on about the hospital.” –Baka Gaijin

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And this is where we’d thank our advertisers — if we had any this week. To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.

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Marvin, 9/7/12

Yes, Jeff, don’t you find your wife as sexually appealing as she was when she was 12? Be very careful about how you answer this question! Today’s Marvin has been cleverly designed to elicit sighs of relief when the strip moves back to its usual jokes about soiled diapers.

Hi and Lois, 9/7/12

Look, Chip, don’t expect coherent answers from your dad when he’s lounging theatrically in his man-cave and listening to his old records and smoking tons of weed, OK?

Momma, 9/7/12

Ha ha, it’s funny because Momma knows Francis doesn’t have any friends!

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Slylock Fox, 9/6/12

I’m always much more interested in the stories lurking in the Slylock Fox Six Differences games than I am in actually tracking down the six differences, and the story I want to hear is about the kid at lower left. Why is he so obviously sad? Is he the nervous one in his group of friends, anxious that their parents will find out they’ve snuck into a horror movie? Is he alone sensitive enough to see the true tragedy in the Frankenstein story — that the Monster needs love from the world but turns violent because it meets only fear and disgust? Does he already know that, thanks to his decision to buy an enormous drink, his need to urinate will become unbearable right around the time the movie reaches its climax?

Beetle Bailey, 9/6/12

Beetle Bailey is littered with characters that were added to “keep up with the times” in some long-ago decade, so it’s interesting to revisit them once in a while as a little time capsule of our nation’s past. I had always assumed that Rocky, who has a vague greaser vibe, was added in the ’50s because the kids loved James Dean and the rock and roll music. Today’s strip is a nice reminder that, while old-timey teens in leather jackets seem quaint today (who could be less threatening than Henry Winkler?), at the time mainstream American was completely terrified of their mostly imagined propensity for brutal violence. I’m pretty sure the nunchucks are a modern addition to Rocky’s arsenal, though.

Archie, 9/6/12

Oh, man, globalization, amiright everybody? This tale of American failure is made all the more pointed by the fact that Archie’s dad looks like a balder version of Thomas Dewey. “Look, you all voted for that bastard Truman, don’t blame me for this sorry state of affairs.”

Spider-Man, 9/6/12

“I mean, I already foiled one of his schemes — why won’t he just surrender now? Man, this job would be a lot easier if all my enemies were as lazy as I am.”