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Shoe, 8/26/11

Today’s edition of “Overthinking It” comes courtesy of Shoe, because I can’t stop looking at the front left leg of that SNAX machine, dangling as it is just past the edge of the Treetops Tattler’s treetop newsroom. At first I thought the arrangements of all the legs might be a physical impossibility, but if you squint you can sort of imagine a twisting three-dimensional cylinder occupied by that tree bough that might allow the arrangement that we can see here. More difficult to picture is a scenario in which the Perfesser somehow managed to stand precariously on that narrow limb, his arms barely able to wrap around the truly obscene number of snax-pax he’s purchased, and still somehow manage to put coins into the machine and fish more bags of potato chips out of the bottom slot. Still, all of this shouldn’t take away from the hilarious punchline of the strip, which is that the Perfesser is a paranoid lunatic who resents and fears the newsroom vending machine even as he compulsively pumps his meager earnings into it.

Beetle Bailey, 8/26/11

Based on recent evidence, it appears that Beetle Bailey is attempting to appeal more strongly to its core audience of angry old drunks. I’m glad I didn’t have to run that focus group.

Crock, 8/26/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because … people … read electronic books now? No, wait, it’s funny because not a single person involved in the creation of Crock has any idea what a “download” is.

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Family Circus, 8/25/11

Ha ha, the Keane Kids are aggressively illiterate philistines, what a surprise! I’m not sure which is sadder: that Jeffy and Billy are encouraging their mother to walk all over books, therefore showing their contempt for learning, or that they’ve managed to soak the entire living room rug, no doubt through some process too distasteful to contemplate.

Jumble, 8/25/11

Ha ha, Jumble Jeff sure likes sewing curtains! And drawing curtains! Wait, wait, that’s the solution to the puzzle, right? “Drawn shades” or something? I’ll just count the blanks in the answer and … God damn it, I hate how dumb the Jumble always makes me feel.

Ziggy, 8/25/11

I think a bird is drowning in the birdbath? Too bad Ziggy won’t be able to save it. He’s not CPR-qualified! He’s not good at anything!

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Six Chix, 8/24/11

When I was a teenager, I saw a movie on the Lifetime Channel about the serious problem of bulimia, and the two scenes in it that have stuck with me are (a) one where two teenage girls are in a van in the woods, and one teenage girl, who is initiating the other in the joys of eating disorders, says “I call it scarf … and barf,” and (b) one where the mother of the second teenage girl opens a closet and finds all the jars of vomit the daughter’s been secretly hoarding, and immediately staggers back in shock and horror, which I found surprising because, really, could you honestly say that you’d be able to identify at first glance a jar filled with puke that resulted from a binge-and-purge cycle? Anyway, recently one of my nieces claimed that she was shown this film in a health class, which I found surprising because … squirreling away jars of vomit isn’t something actual bulimics do, is it? Please tell me that it isn’t.

Anyway, this comic brought up some memories of that film, for obvious reasons! Also, it made me feel like a cranky old person who mourns the coarseness of modern life. After all, if the actual comics are going to make baby-bird-food-is-vomit-even-for-anthropomorphized-birds jokes, how am I supposed to stay relevant making those exact same jokes on my “edgy” blog?

Apartment 3-G, 8/24/11

Oh, look, Apartment 3-G is proving that “Hoboken” is an inherently funny word as it coins its second Hoboken-themed catchphrase of the year. “He’s from Hoboken, Margo, not the moons of Jupiter!” isn’t quite at the same level as “Too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church,” but it’s still pretty good.

Beyond the fine phrase-turning, though, I have some issues with the dynamics at play here. For one thing, we’re now more than 20 years into the marketing of the western shore of the Hudson as the “Gold Coast,” within a quick PATH or ferry commute to New York; a denizen of Hudson County is at least as likely to be a stockbroker as a piano mover, though I concede that Margo’s snobbery is probably pretty accurate in terms of how arch-Manhattanites feel about the place. More importantly, though, the idea that Lu Ann is some kind of urban sophisticate who could never find happiness with a simple working man from New Jersey is completely laughable to anyone who’s actually read the strip. Heck, even if this were the one and only Apartment 3-G you’d ever seen, you might still question the idea that the cowering blonde in the all-white shirt with the old-timey collar would be too cool to be romantically involved with anyone.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 8/24/11

Will this pair of lovelorn widows with unnaturally sharp features find love together? All signs point to yes, despite the clownish vibe that the couple will give off, due to their freakishly bright hair!

Blondie, 8/24/11

What if you developed a sexual obsession with a television personality, an obsession that occupied your every spare thought, an obession that, for obvious reasons, you could never discuss with your wife, the person with whom you shared all of your other most intimate secrets? That’s a dilemma that would manifest itself in some pretty weird ways, I’ll bet.