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Family Circus, 5/12/11

I suppose the joke here is supposed to be kind of the flipside of the Mother’s Day installment; both have at their core the sad fact that the Keane Kids are semi-feral slobs who would, if not for Mommy’s constant attention, live in their own filth. But I’d like to believe that we’re seeing a progression here from Sunday’s episode: after the unseen fiasco of her very special dinner, during the course of which every single meticulously arranged outfit was in short order coated with a viscous layer of ketchup and boogers, she just decided to give up entirely. What we’re seeing here is the nicest outfit that Billy has left only a few days after his mother stopped grooming him. Soon the kids will be lurching around the house in gunny sacks (lurching because nobody will bother cutting out arm or leg holes for them).

Herb and Jamaal, 5/12/11

Ha ha, Herb, your daughter has no time for your weak and ancient Semitic sky deity! She will only offer prayers to her awesome and majestic insect god!

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Mary Worth, 5/11/11

Oh, Dr. Drew, it looks like your lady-dumping technique still needs work! The bored florist may have convinced you that this sad, overpriced mishmosh he threw together quickly is a genuine “Let’s Just Be Friends® Bouquet,” but I think any lady who sees you show up at your door with flowers in your hands is going to find some mixed messages in your breakup speech.

But! Not to worry, folks: Liza is sure that she and Drew are going to do more than talk tonight! Assuming that she doesn’t have an extended game of charades planned, that means that she likes nonmarital nonprocreative sex, like Charley, which in the world of Mary Worth makes her one of history’s greatest monsters, whose feelings need not be taken into account.

Hi and Lois, 5/11/11

This would be just another lame Hi and Lois strip among so, so many if not for Trixie’s gobsmacked expression as she crawls away from her bickering siblings. She’s not commenting wryly on their contentious ways; she’s suffering visibly from the free-floating anger in the house that she encounters whenever she leaves her “safe space” in front of the living room window, where she is generally blessedly ignored.

Spider-Man, 5/11/11

“Their banter … is giving me reason … to live again … so witty … almost like … watching TV…”

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Mary Worth, 5/10/11

Look at that face! Have you ever seen a man more grimly determined to let a woman down easy before? He’s massaging the back of his neck with his tie, the better to keep a cool head for the coming letting-down-easy process. Keep in mind that, in Drew’s last attempt to break up with someone, he decided that the best technique would be to just stop returning her calls, a move that led to physical assaults on his person and his dignity and, ultimately, his exile to Vietnam, so he realizes the importance of acting prudently now. Plus Liza seems like she might get stabby when crossed!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/10/11

Oh, that Clovis! He and his wife might fuss and feud, but we all know that eventually at her wishes he’ll be baptized and will accept a version of Christianity based on the Nicene Creed, thus determining the religion that will dominate Western Europe for the next thousand years.