Post Content

Beetle Bailey, 4/10/11

Good lord, can you believe that Beetle Bailey of all strips deployed the hip, cutting-edge slang phrase “bust a move”? Note that the creators put this bit of street lingo into the mouth of the strip’s sole black character, as they obviously felt it would be unrealistic otherwise.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/10/11

Hooray for continuity! This strip references the fact that Hagar, as established by occasional references over the years, is illiterate. It also references the fact that he’s a drunkard who hates and fears his wife.

Post Content

Marvin, 4/9/11

Never mind whatever kind of baby HUAC Marvin’s got going on here; why do the infants to his left bear an expression of heavy-lidded ennui, while those to his right have eyes opened wide with horror? Given Mavin’s love of sitting in his own foul-smelling feces, I think we can say with some certainty which way the wind is blowing here.

Archie, 4/9/11

Never mind Archie and Jughead’s inane banter — what exactly is Random Second Panel Gal looking at on her tablet device? It’s a given that all the ladies in Riverdale are hot for our feckless protagonist for no reason anyone can ever identify, so I suppose it’s not out of the question that someone developed an Archie app. Still, I weep for the waste of programming time it would represent.

Momma, 4/9/11

The Hobbes children are so traumatized by their upbringing that their mother’s face haunts even their masturbatory sessions.

Post Content

Hey all, it’s time for your top comment!

On who takes the FW flashback pictures: “I dunno, the yearbook committee? ‘Quick, beatdown of Les at 4 today, grab the camera. We can put the photos in a scrapbooky collage thing between the freshman and sophomore pages. I have some blank speech bubble stickers to put on them. Write something about Les pissing himself.’ At least that’s how I would’ve run Westview High’s yearbook committee.” –MaryAnnTheRest

And your very funny runners up!

“Maybe this mustache will make Dawn love me again.” –Chyron HR

“Hamburger guy should definitely ask the waitress about pie.” –Dood

“For someone as lazy as Spider-Man is, he sure is good at rejecting the most obvious solution.” –TheDiva

“Margo laughs as she imagines Tommie’s destiny: a hungover Dan Diller, after a night of inebriated wild monkey sex with aunt Iris, vomiting on Tommie over breakfast.” –Hibbleton

“COME ON FONT, BOLD! BOLD! BOLD!” –Red Greenback

“Really, Mark Trail is still wearing that band aid, how long is he going to milk this whole getting shot in the head thing.” –Rob

“Remember, if you’re not going, ‘wait, what?’ you’re not reading the real Dick Tracy.” –Chip Whittle

“Friday’s strip ends in Liza’s apartment, which is revealed to be a floor-to-ceiling shrine to Dr. Drew Cory. In the last panel, Liza, in her wedding dress, points her gun at Drew and says, ‘For you and me .. the moment is NOW.'” –frippy

“Ever the cheapskate, Dr. Drew is now taking to winning women’s hearts with romantic lunches sitting on the mat of a boxing ring. You go, Dr. Drew. I’m in your corner.” –Edgy DC

“Those who believe that Abbey will tell Soph that she should hide her intelligence are wrong, as are those who think Abbey will tell Soph to be proud of her intelligence. Nor will Abbey recommend that Soph stop competing. Instead, this story line will play out the same as all the others: completely forgotten as we suddenly switch to another plot.” –Frank Lee Meidere

“Like so many times with soap opera strips, I find myself drawn to the contents of some characters’ glass. Is the young lady in Mary Worth drinking milk? Opaque water? Opaque vodka? I’m hoping toward the latter, as it’s the only thing that would take my mind off of the cafeteria paint job, which seem to have been pre-coloured to hide my vomit the moment it hits the walls.” –Black Drazon

“Is it wrong that I hope the next three days are Les being beaten to a pulp? That’s for being so smug all the time in the future!” –S. Stout

“Mary Worth is on its way to becoming the pointiest comic on the block, with characters over the last week or so pointing more and more frequently to make pointy points. I think there could still be more, though. Take today’s strip, it could have gone like this: Liza: (pointing at Drew) ‘I like your attitude! You have an attractive appreciation for life.’ Drew: (pointing at self) ‘I can’t help being thankful for my life and all that’s in it!’ Liza: (Pointing to Drew’s smiling mouth) ‘I’m attracted to that happiness … (pointing to self) and I’d like to add to it.’ Drew: (pointing towards crotch) ‘There’s a lot to be grateful for!'” –pugfuggly

“Les, like the wily garden toad, has a bladder a quarter the size of his torso. It’s the only defense he has: copious nervous urination.” –Baka Gaijin

“If Mark Trail were Funky Winkerbean, the big arrow labeled ‘TERMINAL’ would be foreshadowing.” –David Willis

“Is there anything Luann’s Mrs. Horner can’t do? Other than avoid being in this strip, that is.” –True Fable

“Mary Worth is far too subtle for me — does this woman like the doctor or not?” –Gump Worsley

“Just a moment, June, my Rex-Sense is tingling. It warns me when people expect empathy from me.” –Jesse R

“What the hell club would name Momma ‘Mother of the Year?’ The Khmer Rouge?” –Doctor Handsome

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

• Is your computer running slow?: Crucial can help. A memory upgrade is one of the most affordable, effective ways to boost performance! Our tools find the right upgrade–guaranteed compatible. Upgrades for PCs, notebooks, netbooks, and Macs. Affordable, easy to install. Online customer/tech support.
• Magic on the Hunt: Allie Beckstrom and her lover, Zayvion, are the first line of defense against chaos and a dangerous new brew of undead magic threatening to overtake Portland. From national bestselling author Devon Monk!
• Flying Tiger Comics: JT NESLO … FREE … IMAGINARY STORIES … 2 UP … APE:
  Fresh new strange graphic novels sharing one mindbending universe!

To find out more about how you could be thanked in this spot, and more about sponsoring this site’s RSS feed, click here.