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Pluggers, 9/9/11

Now, non-pluggers, you’re probably confused to see a chicken she-plugger refer to her dog husband as “Henny”. This doesn’t mean that he’s taken his wife’s name — ha ha, that would be unthinkable! She’s just name-checking to Henny Youngman, who was the world’s most prominent producer of humor around the time pluggers stopped paying attention to pop culture forever.

Two somewhat subtle points about this panel that I think are important for its correct interpretation: one, this jokey plugger is standing next to a (presumably spiked) punchbowl; and two, there are kangaroo pluggers. In other words, this guy is getting drunk and telling racist jokes at 7 p.m., much to his wife’s horror.

Apartment 3-G, 9/9/11

Fellas! A lady sure does like it when you propose marriage to her without having had any kind of discussion with her about it in advance. She especially likes it when you put her on the spot in front of your entire family, leaving her in the incredibly awkward position of either humiliating you in front of your loved ones or accepting a proposal that she’s still ambivalent about. Try it out on the girl you’ve been dating for a few weeks, and her eyes will almost certainly bug out with love and adoration, just like Lu Ann’s are in panel two.

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Momma, 9/8/11

The best installments of Momma (and by “best” I mean “most horrifying and unsettling”) are the ones where Momma feels compelled to meddle in the sexual lives of her children. Today we get a classic Momma euphemism (“I hope your vagina isn’t becoming too … involved, shall we say … with that Herby fellow’s penis”), which is always fun; but much better is the final panel, in which MaryLou, having suppressed the natural expression of her sexual feelings just long enough to get out the door, is convulsed by a full-body lust-spasm.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/8/11

Snuffy Smith has absolutely no achievements of note: he can’t hold down a steady job, he’s a notorious criminal, he survives only due to his poaching and petty theft, and he can’t even be bothered to help his wife with basic household chores. This all no doubt takes a toll on his self-esteem, so he’s looking for whatever glory he can get; unfortunately, the best he can do is try to claim (based on a vague similarity of his name to a common slang term) proprietary rights over the sort of low-level respiratory infection that is endemic to Hootin’ Holler due to the populace’s poor hygiene, which in turn stems from their refusal to acknowledge that flatlanders’ fancy germ theory of disease.

Gasoline Alley, 9/8/11

At long last, Skeezix and Nina have worked out their washer-dryer situation and are taking their long-awaited vacation! Day one: Some dude invites Sheezix to take a dump on his porch.

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Family Circus, 9/7/11

I have to admit that I’m delighted at the look of unalloyed maniac joy on Dolly’s face in this panel. It’s fun to imagine her methodically pulling these tissues out of the box, one by one, faster and faster, shouting the latest count out at the top of her lungs. This is the sort of behavior normally associated with the abuse of amphetamine-based stimulants, but I’m sure the Keane parents are far too protective to allow anything like that in the house, so we have to assume that something is just terribly wrong with poor Dolly’s brain chemistry.

Mary Worth, 9/7/11

In case you were wondering, Mary has hit the full-on platituding stage of her latest meddle. “Where there is love, there can be no fear! Only crushing, suicidal disappointment when you discover that your childhood love has moved on with someone else. What have you got to lose, except for all of your treasured hopes and dreams?”

Pluggers, 9/7/11

Wait a minute … pluggers would never eat fancy elitist foreign food from un-American places like “Belgium” or “Denver.” FALSE PLUGGERS! UNCLEAN!

Spider-Man, 9/7/11

“Really, I’m kind of out of it … I’m not sure where I am or what I’m doing … but I’m going to be an aggressive dick about it!” THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, EVERYBODY!