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SORRY everybody, for being mildly COTW flaky. But your comment of the week is now here!

“Oh man, Funky’s right! Two women in love with Les? Game changer! Wait, how did he react? Stare at them blankly and then spiral into a mopey, self-centered depression? Oh, never mind. This is still the ‘no one cares’ game.” –Tophat

And your runners up! Also very funny

“You have responsibilities, John. You can’t just stay up here watching the sunrise, writing about animals, and carving giant altars to the Goat Demon Baphomet.” –Dan

“I think the current Funky Winkerbean storyline is intended to be a sort of It Gets Better project for dorky teenage guys who are bad with women. In the future, you’ll be doing the rejecting! Of course, the actual It Gets Better project is supposed to stop people from committing suicide, not drive them to it.” –ratnerstar

“Just wait until Momma starts buying post-midnight radio ads that feature a voice saying, ‘Francis, God can see you masturbating right now.'” –un malpaso

“I was wondering, why 75 years? So Momma has considered that her son would be attracted to someone, say, 74 years old, lounging in a bikini on the beach? Then I recalled the disturbing relationship between Momma and Francis and I died a little inside.” –StoutHearted

“Vodka shooters? What the hell are those? Jesus, doesn’t anyone use mason jars anymore?” –Doctor Handsome

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Beetle Bailey, 6/10/11

You might have doubts that Plato, Camp Swampy’s resident braniac, would pass his time reading the bluntly named Weird Stuff. But at least he’s leagues ahead of Beetle, who apparently isn’t intellectually equipped to deal with words or even pictures and is instead just perusing some publication that consists entirely of colored squares arranged in simple patterns. “Ooh, it’s the red-yellow issue!”

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 6/10/11

What are we to make of the fact that a host of mosquitos buzz into this strip only after we learn that Eliviney has doused herself with some dubious home-made insect repellent? It could be that we’re supposed to believe that this homemade Off knockoff is of such low quality that it actually attracts bugs; however, I prefer to think that Hootin’ Holler, among all of its other well-known negative qualities, is permanently afflicted by thousands of mosquitos, whose presence we normally aren’t privy to because they’d be tedious to draw. Panel two shows us the hellish bug-world in which the characters live at all times, just to emphasize why extreme measures of homemade chemistry are necessary in this case.

Dennis the Menace, 6/10/11

Dennis and Joey are already gravitating towards activities that compensate for their lack of skills. I guess having low expectations for yourself is kind of menacing?

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Spider-Man, 6/9/11

Every once in a while Spider-Man feels like it needs to let us take a breather from its nonstop lazy superhero action and dabble in a little media criticism. As you can tell from the the arc here — “But your photojournalism could hurt feelings!” “Eh, probably not, and anyway, I gotta buy you stuff.” “Oh, OK!” — it’s generally as half-assed as everything else in this comic.

Crankshaft, 6/9/11

I am seething with anger over this comic’s misrepresentation of modern youth. Oh, kids today are in fact Internet-addicted drunks, I’m not denying that; but it’s also well known that children’s bus chants by their very nature scan quite well. The dialog in that first panel simply cannot be chanted in the implied sing-songy fashion, no matter how hard you try.