“So he’s already spent 0.66% of his three million dollars. Stop him, Berna! Stop him! He’s not like you — he doesn’t know that money isn’t meant to bring happiness!” –Frank Lee Meidere
“It appears that there’s a sinister sexual subtext in today’s Spider-Man as Peter uses his amazing finger-placement abilities to try and get his wife to sleep with him. ‘Good morning, honey! I have woken from my slumber with a Viagra-level problem that only you can assist me with! See, even the paper implores you to “Yank Something.” It’s not me! Jameson insists, nay, demands that you fulfill your marital duty!'” –Sunstreaker84
“I like imagining Daily Bugle editorial meetings: ‘Mr. Jameson, a low-rent crook told the cops a fantastical tale of being menaced by an undead creature out of superstitious European folklore!’ ‘That’s the craziest shit I ever heard! Do we have any confirmation?’ ‘Nope! Just the word of a skeevy, possibly doped-up career criminal!’ ‘Run with it! We have our Page One, people!'” –Doctor Handsome
“Yeah, sure, they hate each other, but strangely I’m kinda moved that Loretta went to the trouble to get party hats.” –Ichi
“I think it was nice of Special K to change from her red track suit to lilac blouse in honor of knee cancer. Their ribbons are lilac, because you’ll ‘lie like’ a bump on a log without that knee. SMIRK!” –Old School Allie Cat
“What gets me is Les’s expression of commingled boredom, confusion, and disgust as he tries to cope with listening to a conversation that’s not about him in any way. If there were a fourth panel, we would see him suddenly blurt, ‘I HAVE TO GO TO A BOOK SIGNING! FOR MY BOOK!’ The fifth panel would just see the characters staring at each other silently, while Les waits for the women to apologize for boring him with the details of their petty misfortunes, and to offer to give him a ride to the signing and a foot massage afterward. In the sixth panel, that is exactly what would happen.” –Obstreperous B
“I things are tough all over and real-world economic woes are oh-so-rudely threatening to puncture Sam Driver’s bubble of privilege. Soon, he’ll investigate the roots of the global economic downturn, discover that a cabal of rent-seekers has been siphoning off the world’s wealth for forty or so years, and thus solve the Mystery of the Missing Money. (Spoiler: Sam has it.)” –Effluvius Erratus
“Wait, so they cleared the court and sent the players to the locker room for a knee injury? Even in the NFL when a player is out cold and can’t move their extremities, the players stay on the field while they bring out the cart. But in the Funkiverse, they want to make sure that injuries are played for maximum dramatic effect. I suspect the locker rooms have the video of Brian’s Song playing on a continuous loop to set the mood.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box
Spider-Man: “Ah, the old ‘Maybe he wasn’t’ ploy, always good for bringing back a character when you can’t be bothered to come up with a new plotline. ‘But wasn’t Snailman crushed by 3000 tons of Kosher rock salt and his remains fired into the sun?’ ‘Maybe he wasn’t!'” –New_squid_in_town
“I call Wilbur’s bold fashion choice of a shirt today ‘Ode to the Kidney.'”
“I think Margo is just thinking, ‘Finally, someone turned on by frigid, cold places. He’ll just love my … life.'” –Badger3k
FW: “After the coach is fired for not having any control over the team, Les More will be hired to coach the team. He’ll change the name of the team to the ‘Lisas,’ call each player ‘Lisa,’ and then write a book titled Lisa’s Daughter’s Legacy.” –thegatwickview
“People obsessed with the trivial details of other people’s lives? How shocking! By the way, did you see how black that kettle was?” –TheDiva
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