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Mary Worth, 8/4/23

Greta and … Max? What about Greta’s prison love, Holly? Man, if you had told me that Mary Worth’s grimdark tale of dogs being held hostage in hellish conditions to satisfy sadistic whims would in ony a few weeks resolve itself into “Ho ho, is it a doggie love triangle?” I … well, I wouldn’t have been that surprised, actually.

Judge Parker, 8/4/23

Good news, everyone! That little kidnapped girl has been reunited with her family some fairly menacing guy who she seems to like and I guess works for her wealthy father. Anyway, it’s a real shame that Sam and Abbey are going to spend a good chunk of what was supposed to be their sex vacation trying to find and give money to a bear.

Gil Thorp, 8/4/23

I’ve been betting on these poor boys. Big money, too! That’s legal, right?” [Coach Kaz whispers in his ear] “Uh, no further comment, this press conference is OVER, get those cameras OUT OF HERE”

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Blondie, 8/3/23

It’s a little unsettling that Blondie just produces this elaborate sandwich tray out of nowhere between the second and third panels. I’m imagining her humming softly to herself as she made it over the course of the quiet morning before these ladies showed up, thinking, with increasing anticipation, about her husband “going away” as football season got into swing. Oh, sure, he’d be there, physically, for the most part. But she’d sure have to deal with him a lot less. “How nice! Where are they going?” she asks, innocently, hoping to have found others in the same predicament.

Dennis the Menace, 8/3/23

Sure, this seems pretty treacly at first glance, but I’m going to go ahead and ID as at least mildly menacing a scenario where a couple of unaccompanied children and an unleashed dog are wandering around the countryside, pulling a wagon with a makeshift weapon in it.

Family Circus, 8/3/23

BILLY KEANE: FAIR-WEATHER PATRIOT

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Gil Thorp, 8/2/23

God, can you imagine being part of an institution so dehumanizing and destructive to your identity that it strips your very name away from you, leaving you nothing but a number for identification? And then also, in a mostly unrelated matter, you were prison? Ha ha, I kid, but seriously, it’s a good thing Marty is sober now because in the old days there is absolutely no chance that he’d be able to keep track of two sets of numbers while doing the play by play.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 8/2/23

I was going to question why Silas’s general store, literally the only retail outlet in town, would even need to advertise, but then I realized that the residents of Hootin’ Holler need occasional reminders that they have access to a place where money can be exchanged for goods; it’s only recently that the community has taken the first tentative steps beyond its traditional subsistence agriculture/chicken theft economy.

Blondie, 8/2/23

Sorry, guys, Marx says that the struggle of class against class is a political struggle, so you are definitely discussing politics.