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Dick Tracy, 10/16/23

Dick Tracy loves gadgets, of course, but I assume he’s bored and vaguely disgusted with fancy “forensics,” because they allows detectives to learn information about criminals with zero investigatory violence to speak of. But his face in panel three looks truly deranged, like a lot of horrible things are falling into place for him. “Fluids, eh? You’re telling me this fancy detecting machine needs bodily fluids from suspects in order to work? I bet I know how I can get some.”

Slylock Fox, 10/16/23

Today, as Cassandra attempts to liberate a plundered piece of cultural heritage and return it to the few remaining Egyptian humans left after the animalpocalypse, I find myself contemplating Slylock’s customized “Fox-Flyer” helicopter. Is it truly “his,” as the caption refers to it, meaning that he’s a private contractor who owns his own equipment, insisting on high fees from the Forest Kingdom’s treasury in order to provide the law enforcement capacity that the state lacks? Or is he a public servant with enough clout that he demands the government pay for a series of whimsically fox-themed devices that enhance his personal brand? Either way, it seems he has more in common with his supposed enemy Count Weirdly than he would care to admit.

Hi and Lois, 10/16/23

This is great. The whole Flagston family is angry and sad! That’s the joke!

The Lockhorns, 10/16/23

You guys, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you: THE LOCKHORNS ARE MILLENNIALS

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/23

So the exciting (?) Mud/Rene kidnapping plot is over (??), and I gotta say probably the perfect sum up to any given Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline is “What did you make of that?” “Hard to say.”

Pluggers, 10/15/23

Sometimes Pluggers panels can pack in a lot of sociopolitical psychodrama, but despite the wordy caption, I’m pretty sure all this one is trying to convey is “pluggers are bad at golf.” Which, fair enough! Probably a lot of them are!

Mary Worth, 10/15/23

I guess Sonia is using the past tense here because her father is now retired from the military and the police, but I prefer to believe that she surreptitiously poisoned his root beer earlier in the evening, as soon as she realized he was the living, beefy embodiment of the Authority that she’s fought against her whole young life. You’re a dead man walking, Keith!

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Mary Worth, 10/14/23

Uh oh! Keith may have been willing to agreed to disagree on whether or not society should be allowed to disintegrate into chaos, but my understanding is that U.S. Marines very much do not like it when you call them “soldiers,” which is what the guys in the Army are. Totally different branch! This is a line Sonia will regret crossing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/14/23

Wait, Buzz was locked in that car trunk for days and it’s only his shirt that’s fragrant? I think I’m finally seeing what the medical angle in this Rex Morgan, M.D., plot is going to be.

Beetle Bailey, 10/14/23

Sorry, I know it’s still the weekend, but I’m going to have to call in sick and spend next week lying down now that I know that there’s an analogue to Hooters in the Beetle Bailey universe and it’s called “Honkers.”