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Mark Trail, 4/11/11

There were lots of different reactions I expected when Mark’s bereaved family found out that he was still alive, but apoplectic, face-twisting rage wasn’t one of them. “What?.. Who is this? Oh, hell no. I’ve lived long enough under your thumb, Mark. I’m the man of the house now! Me! It’s Rusty time!”

Apartment 3-G, 4/11/11

There are some instances of the Apartment 3-G artist refusing to draw things indicated by the script, like interesting buildings, that I assumed could be chalked up to inability or disinterest. But my feeling is that today’s mismatch is a result of disgust. “Torn jeans? What am I, a pornographer?”

Archie, 4/11/11

Archie and Veronica’s expressions of sheer terror seem a bit misplaced as reactions to the latest bit of Jughead zaniness. “My God, it’s as we’ve always suspected … no human could eat that many hamburgers and stay so thin!”

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Beetle Bailey, 4/10/11

Good lord, can you believe that Beetle Bailey of all strips deployed the hip, cutting-edge slang phrase “bust a move”? Note that the creators put this bit of street lingo into the mouth of the strip’s sole black character, as they obviously felt it would be unrealistic otherwise.

Hagar the Horrible, 4/10/11

Hooray for continuity! This strip references the fact that Hagar, as established by occasional references over the years, is illiterate. It also references the fact that he’s a drunkard who hates and fears his wife.

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Marvin, 4/9/11

Never mind whatever kind of baby HUAC Marvin’s got going on here; why do the infants to his left bear an expression of heavy-lidded ennui, while those to his right have eyes opened wide with horror? Given Mavin’s love of sitting in his own foul-smelling feces, I think we can say with some certainty which way the wind is blowing here.

Archie, 4/9/11

Never mind Archie and Jughead’s inane banter — what exactly is Random Second Panel Gal looking at on her tablet device? It’s a given that all the ladies in Riverdale are hot for our feckless protagonist for no reason anyone can ever identify, so I suppose it’s not out of the question that someone developed an Archie app. Still, I weep for the waste of programming time it would represent.

Momma, 4/9/11

The Hobbes children are so traumatized by their upbringing that their mother’s face haunts even their masturbatory sessions.