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Spider-Man, 1/9/11

I have to admit that the current “love underground” Spider-Man storyline is the strip’s most (accidentally?) entertaining in years, probably its best since we met the Shocker in 2007. I’m trying to decide what I like best about today’s installment. Is it the way Spidey nobly leaps into action for once, only to be immediately and crushingly defeated? Is it the fact that the artist managed to shoehorn a completely gratuitous cleavage shot into the final panel? Here’s a more subtle source of potential amusement: the throwaway panels feature the whole Uncle Ben Spider-Man origin story, featuring Ben’s huge, impassive face glowering down at his grieving wife and nephew. Could this hideous green underground monster actually be Ben’s soul, emerging from the Stygian depths to stop his wife from finally moving on and finding love again? If so, the afterlife is apparently nothing at all like the scenarios the major religions have tried to sell us.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/9/11

“I mean, he’s still being a supercilious dick to people who are just doing their jobs, but he doesn’t really seem to be deriving his usual level of smug enjoyment from it, you know?”

Crock, 1/9/11

“And now, to complete this hilarious prank, I’ll throw myself to my death out of an airplane! I sure will be laughing as I look down on my grieving mother, from heaven! Heh heh!”

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Beetle Bailey, 1/8/11

I’m pretty sure that the Halftrack Hatefest Follies are my very least favorite Beetle Baileys, and today’s strip is a good example of why. I mean, Jesus. I’m pretty sure there isn’t even a joke here. Mrs. Halftrack: “I’m married to you and I hate you so God-damn much and I don’t know what else to do so I’m just going to yell at you, literally from the moment I wake up in the morning to the moment I fall asleep at night.” General Halftrack: “[Unspoken thoughts of rage and anguish and murder and suicide.]”

Shoe, 1/8/11

Today’s Shoe is marginally better; at least there’s something identifiable as a punchline on offer. But the half-dozen empties in front of the senator and the tremble lines around him are perhaps a bit much for larfs. I do like the way Shoe’s sly enabler’s smile gives way to horror when he hears that Belfrey has actually managed to injure himself due to drink. Even Shoe has limits to the depravity in others in which he takes delight!

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Hello, everyone! Your comments of the week have arrived! Apologies, I only started keeping track of comments again when I returned from my trip — the depths of your epic mega-post are still unexplored. Also, cartoonists who may have missed it the first time around should check out my advertising special, for cartoonists! Half price ads for your pretty pictures!

Anyway, behold, your comment of the week!

“No, Trey Brooks! Don’t take off your scarf! That’s the only way we can tell which one you are!” –Spunde

And your very funny runners up!

“I love the look on Lu Ann’s face in the background of the second panel. Margo may be revving up to inflict a beating, but Lu Ann is all like, ‘Yay! Balloons!'” –Patrick

“‘No fouls called, everything goes!’ is exactly how I’d expect a Funky Winkerbean slashfic between Summer and Keisha to begin, with Ghost Lisa guiding her daughter’s hands as she checks her soulmate’s breasts for cancerous lumps. ‘Bring it!’, indeed.” –Ed Dravecky

“Jill is bringing an envelope with a hand-drawn card that she made in the form of a coupon stating that matrimony is just swell, and she, Jill, will marry one (1) eligible male of the bearer’s choice.” –[Old Man] Muffaroo

“Do you think the art directions in Judge Parker include things like ‘partially frame the scene with the jutting breasts of an attractive blonde in sunglasses’ or does that just happen naturally whenever the dialogue is dull law stuff?” –Aviatrix

“And just a heads-up, H & J, if you tell someone you were caught getting out of the shower, it’s pretty much assumed you were naked; you don’t have to keep saying it. Why the hell did you have to choose now to start getting all specific?” –Violet

“The can says ‘SPAM’ but we all know it’s the last two cans of the earthly remains of Barney Google. Bon appétit!” –zerowolf

“Mary can barely even conceal her derisive laughter behind her hors d’oeuvres as she watches this so-called ‘parental involvement’ unfold. ‘He’s your son, and he asked for your input,’ she thinks. ‘This is barely even meddling at all! Fucking amateur.’ –Doctor Handsome

“That kid’s not gay. He’s obviously just a blackjack dealer.” –Ethan Shuster

“OK, so I have no idea what possesses Spider-Man to say ‘Holy Hannah!’. But whatever you do, don’t turn to Google to try to make sense of it: that way lies madness, or at least a vague feeling of disappointment in that you should probably be making better use of your time.” –Jester

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