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Six Chix, 11/4/23

I love that these guys only reveal this wisdom back at home, probably hours later, when the other couple is well out of earshot. Figure it out yourself, losers! We’re not giving out marital advice for free!

Family Circus, 11/4/23

Say what you will about the Family Circus, but you gotta give respect where it’s due: this is by far the funniest way a child could describe a dead person.

Mary Worth, 11/4/23

NO KEITH NO

I KNOW YOU’RE IN A BAD PLACE BUT

IT’S NOT WORTH IT

IT’S NOT WORTH IT

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As the seasons change, the comments of the week continue. And here’s this week’s:

“Is this Gil fantasizing about Bartender Gal (I forget her name and I don’t care to look it up) or vice versa? I’m guessing the latter: Gil seems too boring to engage in quasi-sexual gothic roleplay, but BG is probably naive enough to mistake his dull stoicism for brooding mystery.” –TheDiva

And the runners up are also very funny!

“I would have thought that the saints would have been a pretty austere group, but just look at them whooping it up in that first panel. Fuck yeah, it’s Saints Day Eve! We’re gonna sing ’til we puke!” –pugfuggly

“Today’s Family Circus made me reflect on that eternal theological quandary: do ghosts go commando?” –nescio

“Jeffy is unequivocally dressed as the Yellow Power Ranger Trini Kwan, who was played by Asian actress Thuy Trang. Trang tragically died in a car accident. Jeffy doesn’t know or care about any of that however; he is the Yellow Ranger because it helps conceal the urine he’s drenched in.” –Ambrose

“‘Graveyard gumbo’ is probably corpses, right? I’m more than a bit concerned that these two might not be cosplaying after all. Call the cops, Blondie!” –astroboy

“Keith is just looking at the bill. ‘$10 for a root beer?!’” –Flipper

“Sure, Crock, it’s all pun and games until the Algerian National Liberation Front hears of your weakness, your surviving soldiers betray you, and the two groups parade your bullet ridden corpse through the streets to the cheers of your readers.” –Old Man Shadow

“Killer is right to be upset. Beetle’s been busted down to E-1 many times already, and this violation of Article 106 of the UCMJ will end his career and freedom once and for all. Oh well, at least Beetle will have four-star General Lieutenant Fuzz for company in Leavenworth. All that said, Zero wins the award for worst costume, having shown up in his normal civilian attire.” –jroggs

“It will be more plausible when I poison him to death and pretend I didn’t notice he died. I realize I shouldn’t have said that out loud.” –taig

“Does … Beetle write home about Sarge? What’s the over-under on the family knowing more about Sarge than Buxley?? More evidence for my gigantic Sarge/Beetle folder, thank you.” –Pistol Pete

“To be fair, money coming out of an ATM will seem like a rare and delightful occurrence to your kid if you make a habit of sneaking up on them from the side and trying to flip the card into the slot without typing anything into the keypad.” –matt w

“Just a month ago, Hi stormed out of a shop that would not accept cash, but today we find out that the act of withdrawing cash is anxiety-inducing for him! Hi should settle on how to express his angst against the world. Maybe start an affair.” –Ettorre

“‘Rene Belluso? He’s at our window? He’s right outside?’ ‘That’s the television, Rex. We talked about this after you went outside to try to hug Big Bird.’” –Voshkod

“It’s funny because he wants to suffocate his wife so that he can sleep! I guess the upside is that he’ll only have to do it once.” –Pippy the Ziphead

“I gotta give credit to Gil Thorp: referencing a pop-culture-cum-sports phenomenon that’s less than two months old is a lot faster than I’d normally expect from a soap opera strip, which would normally take at least two years. In fact, it’s so quick — the Gil Thorp football storyline had already started by the time ‘Traylor’ started becoming a thing, and my impression has been that soap opera strip storylines are more-or-less planned out before they begin (though The Phantom sure has been casting doubt on that recently) — that it actually makes me wonder if something else is going on here. Am I suggesting that the whole Kelce-Swift relationship has been one huge publicity stunt for their cameo appearance in a newspaper comic strip, a medium people are barely aware still exists, that as a city slicker, I had never heard of before coming to the Comics Curmudgeon? Don’t be ridiculous. All I’m saying is, it would be almost diabolically clever if it was.” –Morgan Wick

“The weird phrasing here is actually because Crock’s mom didn’t buy a Harley motorcycle but a Harley Quinn statue. Crock asks the size, knowing with dread that it’s life size and exactly what his mother intends with it.” –ectojazzmage

“Me, if I won some money, I’d buy a working phone to go with this vintage handset. Then I could talk to people for real instead of ripping off Bob Newhart’s old routine.” –Peanut Gallery

“Hey, Crock got something right! Crock’s mother would be in one of the only generations still buying Harleys. Way to rub it in their faces that Harley-Davidson is a struggling company desperately trying to hang in there, crack Crock writing team.” –Tabby Lavalamp

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Crock, 11/3/23

A fun dynamic on this blog is that if I ever post anything to the effect of “Wow, this really makes no sense whatsoever, who on earth would do this/talk like this,” I will inevitably get at least one comment to the effect of, “Huh, Josh, actually if you weren’t a stupid American/coastal elitist/weirdo shut-in/feckless youth/cranky old man you would know that this is in fact very normal behavior, can’t believe you’re publicly embarrassing yourself like this.” But you know what, I don’t care, I don’t believe that anyone has reacted to the information that someone has bought a Harley-Davidson and the first thing they ask is what size Harley was purchased. I don’t believe it! There are many different model families of Harley and, it’s true, they do vary significantly by size, but I still don’t think that’s how you’d approach the question of finding out what kind of Harley your aged mother is has bought with her bingo winnings. Sorry! Roast me for saying this if you will! I gotta speak my truth!

Gil Thorp, 11/3/23

Say what you will about the comics as a medium, but if a TV show wanted to have a couple of of-the-moment superstars as guests, there would be tortuous negotiations and a lot of money changing hands, whereas a comic strip can just draw ’em and have them say whatever crazy shit you want. And since they’re public figures, they can’t even sue! Probably. “Hey, wasn’t this strip about vampires or something just a couple days ago,” you’re no doubt asking, and the answer is: no, wrong, that was a dream sequence, as opposed to today’s strip, where all the football players have hearts floating over their heads, which is definitely happening in real life.