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Maybe it's just that the standards of menace have been so raised by the likes of Calvin and Hobbes or Bart Simpson but I can't remember ever seeing Dennis engage in behavior that would make him a poor children's party guest. He wears a tiny suit to church for goodness sake! He's really just a menace because the strip is called Dennis the Menace but who told the inhabitants of the strip that? Who is going around badmouthing this precocious kid who at worst doesn't always live up to 1950s standards of etiquette? I ask but we all already know it's Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson is making the neighbor kid a social pariah out of a sort of misplaced dissatisfaction and inadequacy that his pension wasn't enough to settle him in a gated community with no children.

—BananaSam
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Romantic Ground Zero

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Apartment 3-G, 9/11/11

On this solemn day of remembrance, it seems trivial to mock the comics. And yet we must acknowledge that one particular comic is helping us heal. What better way to honor the memory of those who died on 9/11 than to browbeat some unwilling girl into marrying you just because she doesn’t want to make you look like a jerk in front of your family? NEVER FORGET 9/11/11: the day Paul’s jet planes of love crashed into Lu Ann’s heart.

Mary Worth, 9/11/11

Or you could have Mary Worth call you! I’m sure that’s very comforting. “Hmm, that’s odd, Lois never seems to be home when I call to talk to her about her dead son. Could she be avoiding me? No, that world require some kind of advanced technology that would allow you to identify a caller before you answer the phone. Guess I’ll just keep leaving voice mail messages, about death!”

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Metapost: (Non)technical difficulties

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I was going to update the site while I was on vacation, but then I said, “Wait a minute, I’m on vacation!” Sunday-Tuesday comics by Tuesday night (and don’t worry, I will NEVER FORGET Mary Worth’s 9/11 tribute).

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It’s no “roadside,” but it’s at least as iconic as “crib”

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Beetle Bailey, 9/10/11

Oh, Mr. Fireman, I think General Halftrack knows very well how this show ends. It ends with him dying in the fire he set himself, drinking himself into a stupor as the smoke fills his lungs. He hates himself too much to go on living, just as he hates his wife too much to leave her the satisfaction of a nice house to live out her final years in. Don’t bother trying to rescue him; you’re just wasting your time.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/10/11

Today’s fun fake punk rock slang: “We need to make this scene!” Use it whenever you feel compelled to put on an appearance at the hot party of your choice, won’t you?