Post Content

Gil Thorp, 2/13/10

Steve Luhm’s reign of terror continues! He thinks up lame nicknames for the basketball team, and the fans dance to his tune, even taking their clothes off for no good reason! Girls who are into older boys with menial jobs find their affections bending inexorably Luhmward! What kind of awful power does this bespectacled custodian have over the citizens of this community? Are they just wholly incapable of cleaning up after themselves, leaving them at the mercy of whoever serves as janitor at any given time? Is Steve drunk with the power that comes with possession of the only mop in all of Milford?

Mary Worth, 2/13/10

I’ve had reason to criticize the art in Mary Worth over the years, but the last two days of Dawn’s shocked-and-yet-secretly-delighted facial expressions have been a joy to behold. I also may have been too harsh on her: while I assumed that this is exactly the kind of information she had hoped to receive, actually finding out the truth seems to have literally turned her brown eyes blue.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 2/12/10

Ha ha, look at Dawn’s face in panel one: she can barely contain her joy as this wave of class hatred washes over her. Lies and deceit? A father who never lived up to his responsibilities? A son who was rejected by his blood relatives because he came from the wrong side of the tracks? Whatever! Wilbur is HERS HERS HERS HERS again! It’s like Christmas! Thanks, spiteful and terrible old drunk lady! Dawn will never forget you!

Herb and Jamaal, 2/12/10

Wow, Herb and Jamaal has taken on an interesting new idea: making everyday sayings hilariously concrete. Either that, or Eula has finally decided to get rid of her hated son-in-law once and for all, by using a fast-acting muscular paralytic.

B.C., 2/12/10

Johnny Hart’s grandson Mason Mastroianni is less than three years into his gig as B.C. artist and already he’s gone mad with power, imagining himself as a wrathful God who keeps His creations quaking in constant terror.

Pluggers, 2/12/10

This is possibly the most depressing Pluggers every produced. Damn you, pluggers, I don’t care that your bodies are so ill-maintained that the mere thought of vigorous activity, sexual or otherwise, has you reaching for some kind of muscle-soothing unguent; I for one plan to take my clothes of for recreational purposes when I get old.

Of course, it’s possible that pluggers don’t have anything against sex per se, but simply find the combination of sex and nudity morally distasteful. Thus, they only get it on when their worn, greasy pajama pants develop holes in suitable locations.

Mark Trail 2/12/10

“Yeah, my doctor, he said, ‘Senator, you can’t just go around slapping people who irritate you, because one of these days someone’s going to beat the crap out of you and then you’ll probably die, you miserable old prick.'”

SAD AND DEPRESSING JUDGE PARKER UPDATE: Several readers wrote to tell me that it looks like Judge Parker artist Eduardo Barreto is gravely ill from meningitis and is unable to continue his duties on the soap strip. While I and others have poked fun at his, er, voluptuous ladies, I think we all appreciate his work on the strip, which is really unlike anything else on the comics page (with the possible exception of the art from his friend Graham Nolan on RMMD). I sincerely hope that Barreto’s health improves, and I know that it will be very difficult for King Features to find a replacement who will live up to what he’s done over the past few years.

Post Content

Spider-Man, 2/11/10

So after inviting himself along on his wife’s Florida trip, Spider-Man has spent most of his time visiting — or at least looking at and making stray comments about — other popular superheroes from Marvel Comics. Some of these characters will be appearing in action-packed films coming soon to a theater near you, while others have already starred in movies you can rent or own on DVD and Blu-Ray! Because Spidey is a super-powered ball of wholly justified self-loathing, what he’s mostly taken away from these encounters is that he really isn’t particularly necessary for the health and safety of New York City. And perhaps this is supposed to be a metaphor for the turmoil behind the scenes in the Spider-Man film series, with the director and all the main stars leaving and the rebooted franchise not reappearing until 2012 at the earliest. “It’s OK, corporate parent! Your Iron Mans and your Fantastic Fours will keep you afloat! I’ll just be … relaxing … in Miami … you won’t need me … ” [uncontrollable sobbing]

Of course, speaking of corporate parents, now that Marvel is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company, Spidey might have other synergistic duties in his future, since Miami is just a few hours of tree-to-tree web slinging away from Orlando. “Gosh, it’s great that all those other superheroes are defending New York … so that I can enjoy a good time while standing guard here at Magic Kingdom® Park and Disney’s Hollywood Studios™! Look, there’s Mickey and Goofy, also on patrol!”

Pluggers, 2/11/10

Pluggers may not believe in evolution via the survival of the fittest, but they sure will be participating in it.