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Beetle Bailey, 4/4/23

I think an underrated and probably quite realistic aspect of Beetle Bailey is that its motley crew of characters, thrown together by their duty to the military and forced to spend almost all their time with one another, for the most part don’t really care for each other and their relationships could degenerate into open brawling with very little provocation.

The Lockhorns, 4/4/23

It gives me no pleasure to say that this panel does not live up, in my opinion, to The Lockhorns’ usually high quality standards. There’s nothing realistic Loretta could’ve said that text-to-speak would’ve botched into the names of these objects, and I feel the choices of what we’re seeing are aiming for an “LOL so random” vibe that is not what we come here for. That said, it is very in character for Leroy to not ask for clarification but to instead buy all of these obviously incorrect items, perhaps spending his entire day going from store to store looking for them, just to come home and rub Loretta’s mistake in her face.

Blondie, 4/4/23

I don’t really have strong feelings about panels two or three of today’s Blondie. But the first panel? The one where a stone-faced news anchor announces “National Humor Month” next to a smiley-face graphic, while a curmudgeonly old man says “Humor month?! With all the problems in the world today?” It’s perfection. No notes.

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Slylock Fox, 4/3/23

I genuinely love how flabbergasted Count Weirdly looks here. “Oh my god! Slylock Fox? The detective who foils literally every one of my dumb schemes? The one who I specifically set up a camera in order to detect? Here? Now?”

Dennis the Menace, 4/3/23

With those theatrical hand gestures and that hilarious wordplay, the only people these two will be menacing are the other players on the vaudeville circuit, as their old man/little kid double act takes the world by storm! (EDITORS NOTE: There is no more “vaudeville circuit” as such and has not been for many years)

Blondie, 4/3/23

I’m excited to see Blondie just give up on telling “jokes” altogether and instead become a comic presenting slices of life so mundane that the strip becomes a work of avant-garde art. I certainly hope that the entire remainder of the week consists of three panels a day of Dagwood staring at the microwave in silence, to really hammer home how long 90 seconds can last if you’re reasonably hungry.

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Panel from Slylock Fox, 4/2/23

I dunno, man, I kind of doubt that the Forest Kingdom’s legal regime says you’re allowed to take away someone’s jar of nuts and weigh it just based on reasonable suspicion alone, but aren’t allowed to open it without a warrant. I kind of think Slylock is, once again, just showing off his ratiocination abilities here.

Hi and Lois, 4/2/23

I really enjoy how sour Dot looks in the final panel here! Like many English words, “season” is polysemous, and frankly Dot is not here for it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/2/23

Sooooo, what do we think, is that Rene in yet another of his wigs, or is Dr. Mirakle just some guy? Either way, since he’s managed to purge Mud’s mind of the darkness that allowed him to produce such emotionally complex hits as “Muddy Boots” and has left him so happy that all he can churn out is nonsense treacle, maybe one of those private seminars would be pretty helpful!

Dustin, 4/2/23

Oh, hey, just FYI, last year on a cruise Dustin’s dad’s dick, or his balls, or maybe both his dick and his balls, popped out of his swimsuit while he was out in public. We should obviously be thankful that we’re only hearing about this second hand, but honestly hearing about it second hand is no picnic either.