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Blondie, 6/4/08

Wait … is Dagwood supposed to be an office manager? Is … is that the joke? Because he often deals with “accounts” and makes presentations to clients for Dithers Enterprises, which isn’t something that office managers do, I don’t think. Or is he just taking offense at criticism of lazy incompetents on general principles? Or does he find it hard to relax because his co-chatter is talking about work? DAMN IT DAGWOOD YOU BROUGHT IT UP.

Anyway, I refuse to believe that Dagwood would just be spending time on random chat rooms. If he were to frequent any Web site, I’m pretty sure that it would be this.

Luann, 6/3/08

Comics about Brad’s sex life: Distasteful.

Comics about Brad’s fetishistic shaving-based sex life: NGGGNGGGNGNGH

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Sorry for the delay, all, but here is your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“It’s clear from their matching outfits: Jeff = Ted + Time – Dignity.” –Albert Camus

And the runners-up:

“Is Abby’s pose in the last panel of Judge Parker supposed to be a look of horrified shock? Or is she just desperately, fiendishly sucking the last lingering molecules of chocolate-flavored THC from her fingers, as befits a newly-minted drug addict?” –mojo

“I’m pretty excited that the Crank is doing whippets while driving. That can only lead to something great.” –EFR

“Is this Mary Worth in a nutshell or what? ‘I went all the way to Vietnam for you, you owe me! Now, get out while I go visit with another man.'” –Mac

“Buxley is a civilian employee; that would be the other reason why she gets dates and not Lt. Blips — the fraternization rules don’t apply. Well, and the boobs.” –Nil Zed

“I’m actually enjoying these cats [in Gasoline Alley], BTW. They’re not nearly as disturbing as the usual lineup of pixies with blank, soulless eyes.” –cheech wizard

“Um, Mister Jameson? You know she can’t see or hear you, right?” –Thinks He’s Brenda Starr

“That fancy two-panels-in-one trick in Sally Forth makes it appear that Ted and Sally are discussing family planning and potential sexual intercourse with their identical twins. ‘Baby, it’s not cheating if it’s with our look-a-likes!'” –Gnemec

“That ‘everything being so expensive line’ totally sounds like something from Herb and Jamaal. Who says that? Everything is so expensive! Everything in the world! Nothing specific … say, remember the good old days when a box of medication for your crabs was only $1, and instead you’d use that dollar to buy a pair of handcuffs and spread the nasties to every hot nipple-less nature writer who dared to pop his little head into the room? You don’t? Cherry? Are you there?” –Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)

“OMG, Mary is meddling in her own life. This can only mean the universe is about to die in fire.” –Inspector Dim

“I love the way in which Cherry has to get permission from a male in order to allow Kelly Welly to film in LoFo, or indeed make any decision other than to clean the house.” –Islamorada Girl

“I’m strongly in favor of the ‘Edda dumps her dead fish of a boyfriend’ storyline, but I’m not in favor of it being so boring.” –monkey.dave

And special recognition needs to go to these two comments from faithful reader Rusty. They managed to repulse even my wife, who’s a professional sex educator:

“Dr. Jeff looks haggard because he suddenly realized he’s been banging Mary Worth. ‘Put it in there, Jeff. Now isn’t that comfy? Now start moving it in and out. That’s right, sexual intercourse is one of God’s gifts to us all.'” –Rusty

“Sally is turning down a chance to be manipulated by the slenderest hands on the planet. He could probably get his entire reed-like forearm up in there.” –Rusty

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Wizard of Id, 6/3/08

This comic is, obviously, yet another in a long line of depressing “my ex-wife is a loathsome harridan, yet I once loved her ha ha ha I hate myself” jokes that have been providing the legacy comics industry with punchlines since no-fault divorce became widely available. However, I think it’s worth pointing out that the Wizard of Id takes place in some at least notionally medieval setting, where presumably witchcraft remains a viable folk tradition, so it sort of makes sense that a bookstore would have a whole section dedicated to it.

I also think it’s worth pointing out that the only bookstores I’ve ever seen that look like the one depicted here (low-slung, featureless, no windows, cheap sign) tended to specialize in porn.

Mary Worth, 6/2/08

I think that Toby has long considered herself Mary’s acolyte and Charterstone’s chief-meddler-in-waiting; now that Mary has been emotionally weakened, she smells blood and is trying to vault to alpha meddler status while the old queen is still alive. Naturally, she’s pretty terrible at it, even with the bar set as low as it is. “Wow, you just sort of broke up and are really mad at each other! Why not spend a bunch of time together, alone, in a strange place where you don’t know anybody else and have to rely on each other to figure out what to do?”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/2/08

In case you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned Rex Morgan in nearly a month, it’s because the strip has focused on the good doctor as he painstakingly pieces together the movements of a bunch of filthy old wrestling mats. Makes you wish for the profoundly uncomfortable glory days of implied pederasty, doesn’t it?

Judge Parker, 6/2/08

Your go-to move if you’re an old white lady caught in a major narcotics bust: blame a Mexican.

Marmaduke, 6/2/08

You can only repress your emetophagia for so long before it starts to come out, subconsciously.

(PS — COTWs tomorrow morning — sorry for the delay!)