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Judge Parker, 6/15/08

Yes, because obviously this woman would have had to bring her explosives with her from Terrorist Land where she lives. Here in the terrorist-free U.S.A., we never have any reason to blow things up! We solve our disputes and demolish our buildings with pure, unfiltered Freedom.

And speaking of Freedom, thank goodness we live in country where we have a free press that’s free to not report about attempted terrorist attacks on American soil. That’s certainly not the sort of thing the public would or should be interested in, after all.

Marvin, 6/15/08

The first non-throwaway panel — in which an unshaven Jeff looks sidelong at his his sleeping wife and thinks “I never realized how devious Jenny was” — is creepy. But not as creepy as the first throwaway panel, in which we see Marvin in the same blue nighttime lighting, wide-eyed, grinning, and obviously ready to kill. The unspoken conclusion to his thought balloon in the final panel is “Feed me … with your flesh.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/15/08

And thus began Rex’s never-ending quest for young Dipstick.

Get it? Because it sounds like … oh, never mind.

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Mark Trail, 6/14/08

Ever since Roger appeared with his little pencil mustache, the odds were good that he was going to get punched; but what would his transgression be? Now it’s becoming clear: he’s going to try to put the moves on Cherry! Whether it’s because the sight of her pink shirt and mom jeans and essential purity has inflamed his passions or because he and Kelly are engaged in some elaborate and sinister game of “good porn producer, bad porn producer,” only time will tell, but clearly villainy is afoot here.

I know we’re supposed to be outraged on behalf of the Trail household at Kelly’s big-city sneering, but you have to admit that the scene is kind of rustic, and the hosts aren’t exactly up on what constitutes hospitality, if panel three is any indication. “Lunchtime, everyone! Here’s a big bowl of ice! Go on, eat up, I’ll make more!” On the other hand, the ice may have been requested by Kelly and Roger for their movie, possibly for genital-cooling purposes.

Marmaduke, 6/14/08

Hey there Baldy McNeighbor, you look pretty smug for someone who’s about to be devoured by an enormous, hungry dog.

For Better Or For Worse, 6/14/08

You mean everyone who comes is going to get really high and end up encrusted with filth? If only, kids.

Pluggers, 6/14/08

You’re a plugger if nearly everybody you grew up with is dead.

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Apartment 3-G, 6/13/08

My God, everyone who identified Alan’s cylindrical “crack pipe” as a Pixy Stick was right!

Dick Tracy, 6/13/08

Yes, there’s certainly nothing that says “the inner city” like one of those curvy Sherlock Holmes-style pipes.

Family Circus, 6/13/08

I guess we should all be thankful that Jeffy’s strict religious upbringing has kept the word “nipple” out of his vocabulary.

Mary Worth, 6/13/08

“And I wasn’t attractive, I was radiant.”

Momma, 6/13/08

Francis + Momma + “I’d have that box filled every day” = NOOOOOOOOOOOOO