Metapost: Comments! Of! The weeks!
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Stupid work will delay Monday comics until the wee hours, but I didn’t want to deny you the joy of the comment of the week.
“It’s tough to get yourself into the rhythm of a street fight when you spend so much time on exposition: ‘Look! It’s the teenager with sallow skin whose membership in a higher socioeconomic class I resent! And the now-teenager who tormented me in first grade, leading to a long-harbored animosity on my part! Get them!'” –Hubris
And the runners up! A particularly hilarious batch.
“Or else Pitfall Harry is Ted’s stripper name for himself. That would make more sense.” –The Uncola
“But why does Ziggy even want cable? Other people watch TV to enjoy movies without leaving the house, or to escape their daily troubles, but Ziggy can’t even see a gum wrapper on the sidewalk without it somehow serving as a reminder of what a loser he is. I’d say the best thing for him would be a sensory deprivation chamber and massive doses of lithium, or maybe thorazine. There is also a definite possibility that this has already happened, and what we see is the result.” –Donald The Anarchist
“Francie’s right. Everything does smell like legs.” –Red Greenback
“Ah, Brad and Toni — it’s like Tracy/Hepburn for imbeciles.” –Uncle Lumpy
“What the hell does that mean. It makes no sense. It makes negative sense. The Family Circus owes us sense, and a lot of it, too.” –Lord-z
“The face of utter despair on daddy Keane clearly indicates that those papers are of the paternity tests he does every month. Today’s papers, as every time, indicate that Jeffy is indeed his son.” –Wili
“Whenever Mary says the ‘important’ (using the term loosely) line of the day’s strip, she always looks up as though something is on the ceiling. I like to think that the drivel she spouts is actually written on cue cards, and she’s just forced to say whatever is pasted on the ceiling. It makes me feel slightly better when I read the strip.” –Jemmy
“I think it would be a cosmic act of mercy if a giant flaming meteorite landed right on top of that gingerbread house while Brad and the perpetually-grinning TJ were sound asleep and could be instantly flambeed. The funerals would provide material for a couple of weeks and add some much-needed gravitas to the strip. And the mournful eulogies about TJ’s perpetual smile would actually be true.” –Poteet
“‘What’s with the Santa hat in the office, Bumstead?’ ‘I thought it would make things a little more festive, boss.’ ‘It’s not festive! It’s black, you feckless slop-gobbler!’ ‘So is your soul, you withered old crustacean! [fisticuffs]” –Keg of Curd
“Just because I don’t completely understand [the second panel of this Gil Thorp] doesn’t mean I don’t find it completely awesome! Spider-Man and Phantom take note: this is action! I think.” –PeteMoss
“It looks to me as though Mary is accosting random passers-by with her inane platitudes. ‘Hey, you with the ball! Who knows what tomorrow brings or takes away? You there in the jeans, let’s just enjoy today! Don’t walk away from me like that! I know you can hear me!'” –Cheese-n-Pear
“Look, kid, I already expelled you from my uterus. Can’t you take a hint?” –cheech wizard
“In the third panel of Funky Winkerbean, I can’t tell if Pete’s black pen is meant to signify the little black cell phone on which a lady would make a booty call, or Pete’s little putrefied penis, which he enjoys cradling at a 45-degree angle, to brush against the various covers of his comic books. Either way I hope he never contacts me on J-Date.” –RaJ
“‘Wombo’ is the most disturbing name ever in the They’ll Do It Every Time canon. ‘Are you disobeying me? Have you forgotten where you came from? I don’t see how you could, considering I named you after it. My womb, that’s right. So unless I’m mistaken and you didn’t come out of my body, you’ll do what I say. Now go tell your sister Utera that it’s time for dinner.'” –Francis
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