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Well, this week is Thanksgiving here in the United States, and one of the things I’m thankful for is taking a few days off of blogging. New comics return Monday! Those of you still checking the Interwebs may comment away here for the next four days (unmonitored by me, so play nice). Meanwhile, I thought I’d unleash the comment of the first half of this week:

“Did you hear about the entity that has qualities or characteristics?” –Skullturf Q. Beavispants offers the ultimate Herb and Jamaal setup

This, combined with Skullturf’s Pluggers triumph, makes November 21, 2007, officially “Skullturf Q. Beavispants day”! But there are runners-up to admire as well:

“I’d look up the exact title of the Curti-verse’s ‘Girls Gone Wild’ parody with the fudge-topping chapter or what-have-you, but doing research on the topic of Curtis would finally kill what little sense of pride I have.” –Flealick

“Do you actually think the Family Circus world-view could survive interaction with 21st-century Earth children? This explains why the ‘action’ in this strip generally involves the children standing around discussing something that confounds them (the location of their heart, ambiguous phrasing, shiny objects). The kids aren’t allowed to leave the home, and are forced to make up adorably-hilarious scenarios for the parents’ amusements. The ‘football tryouts’ were the final test; if Billy went outside, rolled in the mud, and came back to recite the dialogue he was assigned without running away (or crying), he was truly a Keane; and if he did flee the Keane Kompound, the dogs would make short work of him (and the marshmallow ass-padding would assure that the birds picked the carcass clean).” –Flealick

“Do beagles like the smell of vinegar and hate?” –gkl

“Monday I actually found B.C. amusing. Today I laughed at Cathy. Am I dying?” –Brick Bradford

“I’m guessing that Abbey is just the kind of swinger that wants to hear about all of her husband’s sexual exploits. Unfortunately, all Sam Driver will be able to say will be, ‘I just stood there.'” –FSogol

“Please remember that homoeroticism should be erotic. Rex and Niki, homoerotic? Yes. Herb and Jamaal? Not.” –sf_reader

“‘Thanks, Toby. I know it has to be done.’ Prediction: these will be Mary Worth’s last words as she is strapped into the electric chair, right before being sent to hell for all her crimes against humanity.” –Joe

“In today’s A3G, the Perfesser is waaay too happy at being cockblocked by Dick Smothers. ‘Taking my underage trophy-bitch to Hollywood? Why, we must celebrate! Have some of my special Vin du Arsenic ’93!'” –Buck Ripsnort

“Mary Worth? Love? No, no, no. Mary Worth is only using Chester to remind herself of how awesome she is. If Toby would permit Mary to lead her around by a leash and feed her from bowls in the ground, Mary would have run right over Chester in the road.” –The Grandstanding Oddball

Also! Today was actually a double day for Comics Curmudgeon reader-submitted triumph, as today’s TDIET was submitted by faithful reader MWGallaher!

Indeed, who among us hasn’t enjoyed day-old beans out of a can? I almost missed something here (right?) — specifically, this TDIET, so don’t forget to tell me in advance if you’re going to be Scaduto-ized!

Finally, to amuse you while I’m surreptitiously drinking gravy out of the boat, I offer you this amusing bit of Web comic commentary. Faithful reader Captain Thunder took a throwaway gag I did on Dennis the Menace a few months ago and transformed it into an inspired bit of pastiche. Enjoy, and happy Thanksgiving!

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Luann, 11/21/07

Pity the poor Luann creative team! In the continuing slow evolution of the strip’s characters, they’ve hit upon a potential gold mind of potential wacky plots: two young men living together, one somewhat impressionable, one somewhat scheming. Normally, you could just lie back and let the hijinks happen. But this is a comic strip that runs in mainstream family newspapers, so all the topics that you’d think of using for this setup — getting girls pregnant, hard drugs, getting into fights, having sex with girls, marijuana, hard liquor, video games, kissing girls, beer, uncleanliness, having physical contact of any sort with girls — are apparently off limits. We’re instead left with TJ’s manic holiday decorating jones, which, while potentially mildly amusing, seems a wee bit out of touch. Couldn’t Santa’s arm fly off in front of some little kids who would then wet their pants in terror at the sight? Oops, pants-wetting: also off-limits, apparently.

Blondie, 11/21/07

This is presumably supposed to be some sort of wry social commentary about how the commercial exploitation of Christmas seems to begin earlier and earlier every year with the stores and the malls and the waddyagonnadoamiright?, but it seems perfectly reasonable to me that desperate food addict Dagwood Bumstead would be so in love with Thanksgiving, a holiday whose main ritual is gluttony, that he’d build a series of twisted idols to it. My only surprise is that the Thanksgiving tree isn’t being trimmed with real edible yams and turkey flesh, to be consumed once everything on the table has been crammed down Dagwood’s ravenous gullet. Elmo, who has long settled into the role of Dagwood’s enabler, wants to know how he can assist with the rampant food worship; only Daisy wordlessly questions the madness.

Family Circus, 11/21/07

A good way to keep Dolly in line is to keep her ignorant of actual theology and just tell her that things that annoy you are sins that will damn her soul to hell for all eternity. Other sins in the Keane household: running in the house, staying up past eight o’clock, talking while mommy and daddy are trying to watch TV, and singing Christmas carols at any time.

Pluggers, 11/21/07

“Wait a minute!” I’m sure you said when you saw Pluggers this morning. “Canada? They don’t have pluggers in Canada! How can pluggers live in the land of Hillarycare and a marriage between a dog-man and a rhino-man? Admittedly, this submission came not from the hot-shot big city of Toronto but rather from some little town called ‘Torono’ that I’ve never heard of, but still … Canada?” Well, fear not for your sense of sanity: Idris Mercer is actually faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Skullturf Q. Beavispants! I actually remember him mentioning this as a potential Pluggers entry in the comments some months back; I’m sure he’s gratified to see his idea acted out by an obese, flannel-clad semihuman. Not that I don’t fully encourage all of you to keep sending your petty gripes to TDIET (and we have plenty coming up in the next couple of months) but the Pluggers code has been harder to crack, and we must salute Mr. Beavispants as a result.

Unlike those who had their entries employed by TDIET, Skullturf was not contacted and told that his idea would be run, nor was he sent a suitable-for-framing copy of the cartoon, because pluggers don’t expect or deserve that sort of consideration.

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Mary Worth, 11/20/07

Ah ha! Chester’s real owner! Here at last is the conflict, the drama that has eluded this storyline for so long! Mary will be confronted with some sad-eyed waif who’s so happy to be reunited with her very special Prince Snuffles or whatever the dog’s real name is. She’ll be all torn up inside about letting go of the dog she’s come to love in a short time. Will she be able to do it? Will she do the right thing and return the dog to his rightful owner? Or will she find some way to rationalize keeping the dog, leaving the child heartbroken? Action! Excitement!

Or, you know, it could play out like the damn condo rules feint. “I’d better find out if Chester has a real owner. Oh, he doesn’t! Hooray! I’m so great!” Damn you, Mary Worth, I don’t need another strip that sets up dilemmas only to summarily dispatch them with no effort on the part of the characters. I have Spider-Man for that.

You’ll note that Chester himself has given up on anything fun happening in this strip and has decided to just hump Mary’s leg until her shin goes numb.

Herb and Jamaal, 11/20/07

Ah, yes, “that sappy chick flick.” Thank God US law only allows one of those to be in theaters at any given time so that we don’t have to sully our lips with its name.

Judge Parker, 11/20/07

Things that might be going through Abbey’s shocked and horrified mind in panel three:

• “Oh my God, my husband kissed another woman!”
• “Oh my God, my husband kissed a woman!”
• “Oh my God, my husband broke several rules in the Bar Association’s ethics code!”
• “Oh my God, my husband thinks that ‘a big wet smacker on the lips’ is some kind of acceptable phrase to use in conversation!”

And here’s a couple of amusing standalone panels for today:

Panel from Gil Thorp, 11/20/07

We all know how pathetic and basically lonely Coach Thorp is, but today, with Gil giving a pep talk to the shrubbery outside his house, really brings it home.

Panel from Popeye, 11/20/07

There’s context for this, sort of, but I like it best in hilariously inappropriate isolation.