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Well, the King Feature comics appear to be down (curse you, Chennux!), so you may have to wait until Monday for your Sunday comics, but to tide you over until then, here’s the comment of the week!

“I absolutely loved Rex’s expression in the last panel today. He kind of looks like the victim of a drive-by prostate exam.” –Zamboni_Rodeo

And the runners-up!

“Creepy DiCaprio face wears an expression that seems to say, ‘I know how many times you drew me, and I know which hand you used.'” –Plus a constant

“I really liked the sad little wave that the flower deliver guy made in the first panel of Mary Worth. He’d been in comics before, usually as one of the guys to fill in the crowd in a Charterstone party scene, but today, they were actually giving him a speaking part. True, it was only ‘Flowers for you, miss,’ but it was his ticket to the big-time. He knew they’d be so impressed with his work, they’d give him a full-time part, maybe as the wacky deliveryman. He might even get his own catchphrase. When he got to the door, though, he choked; his mind went blank. It was just like that time in elementary school during the play. He remembered the laughter — second graders could be so cruel. Still, Vera was a trouper; she managed to grab the roses out of his cold, sweaty, clutching hands. Then, as if in a dream, he saw himself walking away. For some reason he even waved at Vera as he went. Sure, as soon as he was off-panel he managed to blurt out ‘FLOWERSFORYOUMISS!!!’ but it was too late. His one shot, and he’d blown it. He might as well move back to Indiana. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” –Jason Smith

“Why does Vera dress like Janet Reno? All the time. I know there’s a section at the department store that contains clothes like these, along with housecoats and sans-a-belt pants, but you have to be, like, 65 to shop there. It’s the law.” –Burning Prairie

“You know what I’ve noticed about Beetle Bailey? The tanks are just adorable. In fact, most of their military hardware is downright fluffy. I wonder if in the bizarre world of Beetle Bailey, where infantrymen occasionally drive tanks, they’re preparing for World War Cute.” –Gabe

Luann: “Actually, TJ, you’re getting off lucky. At least Tiffer is making a deal up front instead of making off with the profits with the express purpose of a purchase of nose candy. Fifty-fifty seems better than fair under these circumstances. Remember, Tiffany has a lot of balls in the air, and two of them are yours.” –Jamus The Bartender

“Roses are red/ Florists wear blue/ but nobody gives/ a fuck about Drew.” –lunarhalo

“There’s not even a joke in Ziggy! (Which I know is like saying there’s no Vegas showgirls under the sea.)” –dogwallow

“o nki u so fn, u so fn u blw m mnd, hy nki” –Sans Sense

“Every time I think this can’t get more depressing, Batiuk proves me wrong. Today, Les’s wallet is stolen by his smirking long-lost twin brother. Tomorrow, he’ll fall into a pile of manure left by a smirking horse taking a smirking couple on a romantic carriage ride through Central Park. Saturday, he’ll be eaten alive by ravenous smirking squirrels.” –Whippersnapper

“Attagirl, panel-three Margo: get your drink arm into prime fauxgnac-splashin’ position in case Mills says something objectionable.” –Josh Millard

“OK, any time you have some guy held over your head in your backyard, somebody’s going to get hurt. Especially when you are clearly high.” –Shmork

“This is as good a time as any to comment on the creepiness of Jamaal’s facial hair.” –praepes

“Cully Vale sounds like someone who gets hanged at the end of a Thomas Hardy novel. Or a doublewide housing development. Or both.” –Islamorada Girl

“Yes, it is getting to the point where it’ll be something like, ‘You’re a plugger if you have four fingers and an opposable thumb!’ Which, of course, rules out many construction workers, do-it-yourself-ers, and war veterans … and, frankly, the entire Pluggers cast. But still.” –Jennifer

Also! Apropos of nothing except that I’m always trying to encourage people to take pictures of themselves imitating comics characters: Faithful reader illyanadmc got a haircut recently that looked a bit more Dawn Weston-esque than she had hoped. Seeking to turn lemons into lemonade, she posed for a picture imitating Dawn’s rose-sniffing scene from last Sunday:

Also also! Faithful reader Dingo alerts Chicago-area readers to this event: Scott McCloud of Understanding Comics fame will be giving a talk called “Comics: A Medium in Transition” at Film Row Cinema. It’s open to the public!

Also also also! Faithful readers Jules and Amy are lucky souls whose local newspaper (the Kalamazoo Gazette) actually ran Gil Thorp in print form (in the sports pages, natch). But now it’s been summarily cut! If you’d like to help them keep hope and Gil alive, send a polite letter to sports editor Howard Thomas.

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OK, so this is one of those metaposts where I go out into public and talk to people and sometimes pose for pictures with them. If you hate these posts, stop reading now! Really, you won’t enjoy it, I promise you.

So anyhoo, this past Saturday I went to Small Press Expo in Bethesda and it was great fun! I met many people and moderated a panel and acquired so many comics/graphic novels/what have you that I literally threw my back out carrying them home in my shoulder bag.

The panel, featuring comics luminaries Bill Griffth, Keith Knight, Ted Rall, and Nicholas Gurewitch, went pretty well, I think. I set clear goals going into it: I didn’t want the discussion to become so acrimonious that it resulted in physical violence, and at no point did I wish to completely run out of things to say and stare silently and slack-jawed at the panelists. I’m pleased to announce that I met both of those goals! Also, we had an interesting discussion about contemporary comics. A couple faithful readers whose names I didn’t catch introduced themselves to me there; take my word for it that they were extremely attractive and well-mannered. They seemed concerned about whether or not I had secured a ride down; I actually ended up taking the train, which was just as well, as it was the day of the Baltimore Marathon and it would have been impossible for anyone to drive to my house anyway.

The real action was out on the show floor, however. I spent some quality time chatting up the fellows from Blank Label Comics, including David Willis of Shortpacked!…

…and Dave Kellet of Sheldon:

We’re all flashing the gang sign invented by my friend Maria for a gang of incredibly dorky white people. David Willis is the designer of the Margo Warhol t-shirt, so you know he’s a gentleman and a scholar. Incidentally, both Daves are required to follow up on their drunken agreements to the unreasonable demands I lobbed at them (that Sheldon take advantage of its new Web-only format and produce at least one triangular cartoon, and that Shortpacked feature Cobra Commander more often).

But Dave Willis wasn’t the only Comics Curmudgeon merchandise logo creator in attendance! Also there was Monica Meehan, aka faithful reader mon-ma-tron, who designed the Aldomania logo, and her husband Bram:

They were there hawking their super-awesome Raised By Squirrels series.

I also spent a good chunk of time at the table shared by Julia Wertz of the The Fart Party, Shannon O’Leary, the mind behind Pet Noir among other cool things, and Joe Sayers. My failure to get a picture of/with them was a lapse on my part and in no way a statement about their photogenic qualities. They were super-nice and let me eat one of their donuts! And, at a different table, I chatted up David Malki, who was lying low at SPX, but once long ago he took on San Diego’s Comic-Con in an epic struggle that was captured on film.

As a last pic, here are a pair of faithful readers: Aaron (aka zinco) on the left, and Propiniac on the right, who is none other than “Sarah Culp” in this TDIET. That’s right: I actually got to touch someone who successfully submitted a TDIET! I’m not worthy!

In sum, it was a good day and well worth a couple of hours of quality time spent on Amtrak. And, as a final note: Dear lady wearing a Finger Quotin’ Margo shirt: I saw you out of the corner of my eye while I was talking to someone else. When I looked up again, you were gone! I searched the room for you but never saw you again. I’ll always remember you, though.

Update: Gah, I knew I’d forget somebody. Lloyd Dangle of Troubletown: Also a pleasant fellow who spent some quality time talking to me, plus he gave me a free package of Airborne that he drew a cartoon for the box. Yay Lloyd!

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Mark Trail, 10/13/07

I am heaving (hopefully not premature) thanks up to the Gods of Comics that this lame, lame, lame-ass Mark Trail storyline is finally meandering to a halt. I have disliked it both for its numerous lapses in logic and good sense and for its failure to produce a target for Mark’s fists. For the most part, I have ignored this plot in the hopes that it would go away, but I feel compelled to point out the pink stripe arching up from Evil Developer Jr.’s temple in panel three. What appears from most angles to be a lustrous, curly head of hair is actually one of the most epic combovers in human history, a work of cosmetological engineering as impressive in its own way as the Hoover Dam. Still, for all the effort that’s gone into it, it’s only staving off the inevitable, and the son will have to follow dad’s example and switch to the Lollypop Guild ’do eventually.

Mary Worth, 10/13/07

“…I want to give you this item of great importance … that’s IN MY PANTS!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/13/07

“…a .38 special revolver … IN MY PANTS!”

Jesus, every time I try to ignore the subtext in Rex Morgan, the text gets less sub. I’ll bet you’d like to learn how to shoot, Niki. Also, does anyone else think the “Y?” hat is a little flirty? This kid is totally asking for it.

Pluggers, 10/13/07

Note to self: Acquire separate business phone line post haste.