Comment of the Week

Really liking that accusing look on Dennis's face. 'I was promised some kind of circus freak who lived like a dog, and instead I get this boring suburban schmoe? Boo! Zero stars!’

pugfuggly

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So okay, I’m going to pass by the opportunity for a vulgar chuckle from the previous post’s title, and jump right in medias res, the res being my bizarre obsession with Milton Caniff cheesecake as an art form in the funnies!

It’s a cliché that geeky teenage guys draw to create girls they’re too shy to meet. Their older selves fill the funnies, like those notebooks, with heroic-proportioned, implausibly-architected women draped and stretched to the limits of a censor’s patience. June, Edda, Blondie, Abbey, Trudi, . . . most of us can recite the list one-handed.

Cheesecake strips have a special tradition in military publications, possibly to “remind our boys what they’re fightin’ for” or maybe just because they appeal to the narrow reader demographic. Here’s Milton Caniff’s WWII contribution:

Male Call, 1943

This started as an unauthorized weekly spin-off from Caniff’s successful Terry and the Pirates, reformulated as Male Call when a paying T&P customer complained. Caniff, master of narrative compression, put a complete story arc in every strip. Link on over to Humorous Maximus to see the colorized banner. Really — do that. By the way, the indispensible Web source on this — and comic history in general — is Don Markstein’s Toonopedia™, with which you should plan to spend a rainy day sometime soon.

Sally Forth, 1978

And here’s a mind-bender: yes, this is Sally Forth, as she appeared in Overseas Weekly for years, starting in 1971 — check out Toonopedia for the full history, and a look at Sally’s nominally heterosexual but clearly underequipped male sidekick — an oddly apt foreshadowing. Sally Forth combines ’50’s gender roles with ’60’s (post-Annie Fanny) sexual tolerance and hallucinogenic plot elements that are all ’70’s.

Nancy, 8/13/07

Now, I know I can’t say “cheesecake” without somebody saying “Fritzi Ritz.” (Also Brandy from Frank Cho’s Liberty Meadows, but c’mon — that’s a zombie strip.) Far be it from me to disputare anybody’s gustum, but today’s Fritzi just doesn’t ring my bell — too heavily inked and larded up with sexual signifiers. And the constant “shout-outs” in this strip — three in the first panel — betray an author’s lack of confidence that the material can stand on its own.

In the ’50’s and pre-3G ’60’s, Aunt Fritzi was one of the few unattached young adults in comics (Mr. Tweedy was another). Her phone calls from suitors or preparations for an evening out gave a peek into a hidden world — now that was sexy.

Okay Okay Okay! So here’s the question, and I’m not the first to ask it: where are the hot guys in today’s newspaper comics? 9CL‘s Seth, got it. Surely not A3G‘s Alan/Eric/Gary/ . . . /Joe, or anybody in Mary Worth. There are plenty of examples from comic books, or Web comics, or in the past, but here? Now?

Has the TV sitcom big-slob-hot-chick trope invaded the funny pages? Or have we guys just lost it, and the comics reflect our diminished state? Let’s hear it!

— Uncle Lumpy

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Comic mockery takes character — the mental toughness to cackle at metastasis and ridicule heartbreak. That’s why we reserve special scorn for characters who surrender to mawkish sentimentality — as in today’s shameful display.

Mark Trail, 9/1/07

The more this Homer hangs around Shirley the Duck, the softer and balder he gets. On track toward the Omega Point of hairless virtue, he can face Mark without fear.

Mary Worth, 9/1/07

Introducing Playa Drew Corey’s Love Philosophy: “Let it Slide” — or, in his own taxonomy, “Let it Die.” Tell us how that works out for you, Drew, baby — we’ll be . . . waaaaaay over there. Oh, and Clambake called. He wants his hand back.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/1/07

Peter, you lame-ass. Make the evil-eye all you want, you are making coffee for your boss’s nanny. Got it? The Shocker would be ashamed — and that’s a looooong way down, pal!

Apartment 3G, 9/1/07

Who’s that gal muffin-toasting her new beau? Noooooooooo. . . .!

— Uncle Lumpy

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What could be more obvious, more crank-turningly predictable than pre-Labor Day back-to-school themes? Nothing, that’s what! So let’s get started!

Dennis the Menace, 08/31/07

Here’s an archetypical back-to-school strip: cozy old theme, a little wordplay, easy on the menace, bang, out of the studio and beat the bridge traffic to the shore. Oh, and Alice Mitchell looks hot in that old-school put-together way. Knows it, too. Mmmm. But I digress.

Curtis, 08/31/07

Nobody turns the crank like Ray Billingsley — it’s like he’s the one working a desk at the DMV. Michelle spurned Curtis? Check! Here comes “Mom won’t buy what I want” as night follows day. Cue Magical Gunk! Barry, wet up that bed! On in five, “Onion”! Greg, smoke ’em if you got ’em! How Billingsley must pray for Kwanzaa, when the mushrooms ripen at last and his mind can soar free.

Crankshaft, 08/31/07

Tom Batiuk once had no peer at whimsy — the hall-monitor machine gun, soliloquies atop the gym rope, band gales. All swept from the cancerscape of FW of course, and alive in Crankshaft only as this ham-handed pretext ginned up to showcase Ed’s relentless petty spite.

Sally Forth, 08/31/05 and 08/28/07

Hey, look — Hilary’s going into the sixth grade. Stretchin’ right out, too — King Features might want to rethink that “precocious 10-year-old” business. And I’m pretty sure that’s her Dad’s manic glint in the second strip. Poor Sally.

— Uncle Lumpy