Comment of the Week

I cannot begin to express how high my anxiety level would be if I received a call or voicemail or even a text that began with the words 'Hello, [INSERT NAME HERE], this is Mary Worth...’ Sweating bullets about why my name is not in bold but 'hello' and her name are.

Drew

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Funky Winkerbean, 3/1/08 and Sally Forth, 2/27/08

Even in a Leap Year, poor February gets no respect — cartoonists basically take the month off. Here we see young Maddie imagining February in the far future, while Sally remembers it from the distant past. At least March promises more fun, as a murderous Afghan rebel and a crazed United States Postal Worker plot against the skinflint owner of that nest of vipers, Montoni’s Pizza. And Sally? Go ahead and carve a chunk outta Ralph. Blame it on the Ambien® — no jury will lay a glove on you.

Marvin, 3/1/08 and Minnie Pauz, no date

A week of ham-handed single-panel pregnancy-themed Belly Laffs. A bad thing? Sure. But the worst thing? Apparently not!

Oh, you ladies and your hilarious reproductive processes! At least we guys can look forward to a month of prostate-themed humor in A Very Special Crankshaft.

Agnes, 3/1/08

Hmm. Rats!

– Uncle Lumpy

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Hey everyone, I know what you’re thinking: “Early comments of the week? Does that mean that Josh is going to be going on another vacation?” Sure does! But for a lucky few, that means you’ll get to meet me in person in Tucson next Friday. I’m going to try to make this a regular part of my travels, so perhaps this will ease the pain of my vacations somewhat. In the mean time, you’ll be in the hands of the inestimable Uncle Lumpy ’till Monday 3/10.

Oh, and before the CsOTW, I do have something for your delectation from faithful reader Andrew Leal: a compilation of the greatest panels from retired Gil Thorp artist Frank McLaughlin:

Ahhhh, takes you back, doesn’t it?

Anyway, here’s this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Hey, look, Lu Ann! Wolves! Here, let me throw you to them.” –Darkefang

And the runners-up … also hilarious

Tuesday’s FBoFW is dreadful, in the sense that it genuinely inspires dread.” –Trilobite

Pray all you want, Frosty, summer’s still coming. AND WITH IT YOUR DOOM.” –Inspector Dim

“When Dee married into the Patterson clan, she became The Human Uterus. She exists solely to incubate, birth, and raise Michael’s spawn, so all her deprecated body functions (abstract thought, aesthetic pleasance) have been steadily degrading ever since.” –commodorejohn

“Shouldn’t [the snowman] be given some clothes to wear before he starts praying? At least Frosty had the decency to put on a hat!” –BigTed

“Yikes. You could stick a cello in Funky’s crotch, and I don’t mean that in a good way.” –gkl

“Maybe Snowman Larry would be happier if he had some GIANT FUCKING GLASSES. You know, like the most striking and easily drawable visual feature of the real Larry King. I understand you can’t draw the smell of Vick’s Vap-o-Rub and cheap hookers, but I think the Keanes could have tried a little bit harder on this caricature.” –The Other Commenter

“‘Belly Laffs’ is truly baffling. Where is this published? in Terrible Joke A Day Weekly? She’s typing, so it appears not to be a comic strip; one has to imagine the joke without the accompanying picture, which, to be fair, would make it easier to ignore.” –Evan

“Snowman Larry King looks kind of beat down. He probably just noticed that Josh has paired him with ‘Belly Laffs’ and realizes there’s something worse than melting.” –kingklash

“It’s the smug smile of satisfaction on Jenny’s face as she ‘writes’ this tripe that gets me. As if she’s sitting there convinced that she’s churning out Pulitzer winning material and is at that moment planning which hideous turtleneck she’ll wear when she accepts the award.” –ConcreteQueen

“A-Train doesn’t seem to mind the intrusions though. He’s too busy trying to impress her with his suave, ‘I know how to purchase a money order’ smile.” –# ar_d

See ya next Monday, everyone! Be nice to your favorite Uncle.

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Ziggy, 2/29/08

Sometimes, it’s important remember that we all have a huge, aching hole inside of us, a hole of hate and despair and pain and loss. What can fill that hole? Love, of course! Except that nobody loves us. So, we’ve got to go with the next best thing: food. Food is almost like love, except in the sense that if you absorb enough of it, you’ll probably throw up. But still, you keep eating those milkshakes that are literally larger than your head, Ziggy. Because maybe this time it’ll make you feel better. Maybe this time.

Shoe, 2/29/08

Ha! It’s funny because the only thing he hates more than his wife is talking to his wife! Thankfully he’s in a bar with Shoe, where his wife can’t possibly go, because she’s a lady. Don’t worry, fella: Tasty brown liquor doesn’t expect you to hold up a conversation!

Apartment 3-G, 2/29/08

Man, how much smack is running with Alan’s veins right now? Just saying his name make Lu Ann look all heavy-lidded and blissed up. “I can’t wait to tell Alan … Alan … so nice … Alan … [falls out].”